So any guy who has tried Match.com knows that you often get clobbered by loads of Russian Girls who were: "just about to move to your city but something hapenned when they were about to leave. And if they can only have 2000 dollars, they could clear up their Visa issue and fly right over to your house." Riiiiiight.... Anyway, I usually just press delete. But one day I was bored and started fucking with her: ALINA: HI! Do you really like my picture? I shall send you another my picture in the following letter. I have some questions i hope to get your answers, It's important for me to learn some your opinion. Also i shall try to answer your questions, if not now that later, if you looking for fun, tell me goodbye, welll I shall try to tell a little about my character. well.. I think I am very romantic woman. I like to communicate with people, it is pleasant to me i like good humour. I hope we shall learn each other gradually. ME: Well about me, personally I like cooking and crashing cars. When I look at goats I get turned on. I am also attracted to girls who pee on their feet in the shower. Sometimes I like to lick girls on the eyeball for hours. I hope you can fly to California so we can have sex someday! See you soon! ALINA: Hi ! I am glad to receive again your message, every day we shall learn more about each other and it's an interesting. I had usual day but I have received your letter and now my mood became much better. Thank you for yours some answers to my questions it helps me to learn more about you and to understand you. I send you another picture. I hope you like me on photo of me and my dad. tell me more about your family. Do you have many relatives? ME: Wow that's interesting! Can I have the phone number of your dad. I think your dad is pretty hot! ALINA: It is pleasant, that you were interested in my some ideas inmessages. , usually i do not tell about the deep ideas and opinions, but i has written to you, because i has felt desire to open it to you.I more independent woman, but probably sometimes am necessary that there was one man, which i can to open and trust - sometimes it happens hardly to reflect all these things. I am glad, that has found your understanding you see it happens not frequently. I wait your letters. ME: Personally, I only date girls who believe in determinism and subscribe to at least some flavor of eclecticism. Tell me, in your studies, do you think that the discrepancies between quantum mechanics and classical physics will ever be surmounted resulting in completion of the T.O.E. Or, do you think that such a unification is impossible and ultimately, final resolve will only be achieved by acknowledging the boundary domain of the strong and weak nuclear, electromagnetic, and gravitational forces? ALINA: Hi my dear Vyatcheslav! I am glad again to speak with you! By the way, yesterday I had quite good evening with my friends. We went to club and there some hours. First we had the good supper and a little of champagne, then played balling and a little danced. Impressions have remained good, only when I saw , as some my girlfriends danced and kissed their men - I had small envy to them. I thought of you. My gentle Kisses! ME: Yesterday I went to a nightclub too and drank eight Long Island Iced Teas. I got so drunk that I puked all over the breasts of the girl sitting next to me. She started screaming and then her boyfriend started charging forward toward me to kick my ass. Well since I'm only 1.2 meters tall, I screamed, "MIDGET POWER" and I rolled under his feet, thereby tripping his advancing charge. He sailed right into a table of football players - who in turn promptly kicked his ass. ALINA: I hope you have good day! Good news is come. i wish it to you. I hope, this will give again to good emotions. I have got the opportunity to yes travel to California. I have 1000 Euros. But if I could just get 1000 more Euros, I could pay for my ticket and we will be complete and together finally. Can you please mail to me the money yes? ME: I want to see you! You need to come to California. I do have money, but it is in a bank account in Iraq. If you can just mail me the 1000 euros, then I could mail the 1000 euros to my friend in Iraq. Then, he can take the money from my bank account - which has 20,000 euros in it! Then we can be together! After that message, my love didn't email me back. Damnit. Fate is cruel sometimes... Cest la vie.