any other internet marketers here battling mental illness like myself ? If so would you like to share what you have ? For my I have the following : Born with failure to thrive aka post natal depression Psychosis < from smoking synthetic marijuana for 3 years eventually finding out what the chemical was and buying the chemical and smoking it to save money, most likely have holes ate into my brain just like it ate holes into my tooth enamel. What it did for me was open up the flood gates to being a psychopath, I had a memory of my father shaking me when I was 3 months old and screaming into my right ear to shutup and i remember blacking out, So my mother knowing i didnt know my father outsid eof his alcoholism didnt tell me about this till year and half ago, Since my father didnt buy my mother food while she was pregnant with me or when i was born didnt buy me baby formula, so my mom got a job and my dad I guess watched me one night, my mom returned home from work to my father telling her "Terry your son wouldnt stop crying so I screamed in that mother fuckers ear to shut up and he shut right up". At that point i dont know if it was the day or 2 days after that happend my mother filed for divorce. I still have this memory knew it was real, and has alot to do with the man I am today Obsessive Compulsive disorder with my body Body dysmorphia Not so much full on bipolar as it takes me alot to get angry, but once angry turn into a legit dexter morgan so tinge of bi polar Full on adult depression that has been addressed by anti depressents and anti psychotics that havnt done anything Low Self Worth - Don't know if its a mental illness but I for sure have it and will take alot to not have it. How do I have it you ask ? Well for the past 4 and half years I have been ebullied on this program called ares p2p. "But wait onemanorgy your 27 how is that possible ?" 5 Main people that Decided to do this to me there online pseudo names are, OOBE aka Virus - The writer of the Sb0t server if you go to goo and look up sharptricks wordpress thats him his shit etc he writes the server for the guy that started ares Alberto. he decided to pick on me and lie and start very bad rumors also got my address from someone on this list and made a wordpress blog about it showing my address, my mothers address where 2 children lived, and my sisters work information he has done many other bad things like ddos my mothers internet connection when she developed stomach cancer. There is more i know about him and hes done this to others resulting in them being admitted into mental institutions. Keep in mind this person everyday said i wasnt worth anything and tried to get me to kill myself along with all the other people on this list. Lethal - i was online dating this chick that faked her phtogrpahs and admitted it to me. Im not shallow so i said we can make it work . She ends up having phone sex with this guy lethal i try telling himshes 350 pounds stop talking to her you will just embarras yourself. Still didnt believe me, I then told him look ill go on tinychat I still have polka on msn if i can get her to admit she is leing about who she is what she looks like and having stage 4 lukemia youd believe me right ? He said ya. So this dumb mother fuckerit took 2 hours to ingrain the truth into his head while he read a live convo that she wasnt real, he thanked me privately. But publically would ban with poeple that didnt like me and said i was a dumbass for dating her when i had to inform him she was fake. I was beyond polite with it when i said really you owe me and should thank me more cause i saved you from embarrasment had theat be me id be extremly gracious. So to be cool and lok like the man infront of his friends he doxxed my info that had my info my mothers info where children lived and my sisters work information. Lethal put it on a website and it was up for 1 year. Me being the type of person that doesnt call police i just dealth with it. Until he started emailing my mother a picture of my 10 and half inch penis along with a picture of my face etc. Beyond illegal but im the type that doesnt make police reports. I told this dude once I get your info lethal im gonna make you leave ares. He said "Fent if you get my info I will do you a favor and leave the internet forever" WElp among his shit talking to the chicks online that likd me. Lethal kept passing out photos of himself to all my exes saying don't i look better than Fent ? Which in fairness I understand how attractive I am and especially when i asked lethal buddy what are you ethnicity wise whats your height weight. Fent im hawt as fuck was his words exactly im 6 feet and 180 pounds and im 100% italian. SO you remember this picture he kept passing out to my exes ? Well i found out there is valuable information in photographs taken by iphones called exif files right. So these exif files get made and put into a picture you take on your phone if you have the gps on your phone turned on it automatically does this. SO this dude took a picture in his bathroom i looked up the exif information low n behold i got his parents information and his state records. Turned out to be 5'10 which I doubt 140 pounds it sais on his criminal record and his ethnicity is arab.............. Boy the web we weave. WHat he did to fool people while Silk Road was up he orderd fake id and showed everyone and everybody thought he was this italian kid, also this guy promised to get my 12 year old niece at the time raped infront of me and make me watch by posting my information to irc rooms with people that do that type of thing.. Well I knew the truth, what i did is i gave his full name to someone that was his friend and didnt know it. This kid unblocks me on msn, saying to me nice try fent really applaudible but thats not me, Then i told him exactly how i got the info then he said nothing cause he knew he was done I blocked him and proceeded to give his information to all stalking victims he had on his website. I get a phone call on my phone right, sais my mothers number. I pick it up its lethal saying Fent dude im so sorry can we truce please I didnt mean to push you to almost suicide. I fuckin screamed at the top of my lungs how dare you call my phone id spoofing my mothers number why did you do it mother fucker ? He said cause i knew you would answer. I then informed him your last option is owning up to your word and leaving the itnernet those were your words not mine. Then I hung up. I go to check out his website he had everyones doxxed infos on it was taken down. And the asshole kinda owned up to his word he didn't leave the internet but he did leave ares and no longer stalks people and I literally have not seen him in 3 years. And he will never ever be back or me and his mommy will have a little talk on how hes using his mommys internet as a tool for harrasment. Keep in mind this person everyday said i wasnt worth anything and tried to get me to kill myself along with all the other people on this list. everydy these people ingraining in my head we will leve your family alone if you kill yourself. DarkShnyder - This guy made me lose a oppurtunity for a job, he went on my Ares name that im known for Fent, adn statesd on my name that I enjoy watching child porn that i am sexually attracted to children and further more he used My First Middle and Last gov name. Well I was garunteed a graphics printing job in the former city I lived in, and at the time I had no criminal record about 2 years ago, I do now and I will get to what and why I have a record at the end of this post.Neway help wanted the guy told me just let me run a background check and the job is pretty much yours and we will call you. A whole fucking week gos by and nothing, and im told to aqquire a job you have to bug the shit out of the employer instead of calling I went up to the print shop. Saw the help wanted sign went in and asked why I wasnt hired. He stroked a couple keys on his keyboard clicked his mouse and turned the monitor to me showing the fake convos saying I like children. I don't cry much I can tell you that. But as soon as i saw that I left out of the shop stepped one foot outside and started to cry my way home which was a 2 mile walk. Now poeple on ares sa a famous slogan on ares, "if you get effected outside of ares by ares thats your own fault" well in this mother fuckin situation I didnt ask for this kind of trouble nor to have my name slandered. I had to contact wordpress about taking the blog down which they did. And i have further chatlogs shstating darksnyder faked those logs. Now He is the reason I refuse to believe in a God, Well why onemanorgy. Because he was rich since birth and his family is the 3rd richest tea plantation owners in Trinidad and Tobaggo, Also this cock sucker is a professional football player < soccer player for the trini and tobaggo team, Professional and everything. If I had his name surely I would call his coach and convince him to let him go as I believe all professional sports teams have a moral and code of conduct I have proof of everything he did to me. But you know this world being owned by satan and money can be thrown around from his family he would be put right back on that pro soccer team. This mother fucker can fuck with my life for no reason and he is a rich while Im fucking dirt poor and need dental work done that job could of payed for, to me there is no fucking God because of this and what happend. God is suppose to protect the innocent and poor which im both and arguably due to my conditions I don't know any better which would make me a fool and the bible sais God protects those. Nope nothing happend in my favor and this guy still fucks with me till this day posting my familys information wether im on ares or not. Keep in mind this person everyday said i wasnt worth anything and tried to get me to kill myself along with all the other people on this list. everydy these people ingraining in my head we will leve your family alone if you kill yourself. Zachâ„¢ - Best friend to lethal, zach threatend to have my 62 year old diabetic mothers house swatted with her in it, ontop of that threatend to send her poisnd letters. Ontop of that created a wordpress blog with my address, and a photograph of me missing a front tooth, as one of these guys friends that was a chick ticked me b y saying look i know you dont have money I will pay for the dental implant if you just show me the missing gap. So me being of low intelligence and borderline retarded and me being desperate for a fucking tooth not to look bad I did it. The cunt ended up screenshotting me illegally which i have a witness and asked her not to take photos while on tinychat. SO zach took this picture, my cock picture, my moms address my address my sisters address where 2 small kids live, the missing tooth photo and couple other thigns and created a wordpress blog on my 25th birthday. Out of anyone I want this person to die the worst death as this is the one that everyday in private messages try convincing me to kill myself that my life isnt worth it or anything and this person managed to turn the last social place i went to online or offline he managed to turn everyone against me throwing bitch fits that im not muzzled in his friends rooms or banned. Also I know me and my dad didnt get along but said he was going to piss on his grave, just things that urk you and get under your skin this fuckin now 25 year old man did and said to me which theres other things he did that Im not prepared to talk about right now publically as they and he did some way illegal shit to me and since im not a Police fearing citizen got away with it since i don't make police reports or believe in talking to the police. and again i will type this for every person on this list cause they did this to me ......... Keep in mind this person everyday said i wasnt worth anything and tried to get me to kill myself along with all the other people on this list. everydy these people ingraining in my head we will leve your family alone if you kill yourself. M0rd - .........Keep in mind this person everyday said i wasnt worth anything and tried to get me to kill myself along with all the other people on this list. everydy these people ingraining in my head we will leve your family alone if you kill yourself. Pixel aka Stu, best friend to M0rd and OObe - To save you some grief of reading all this basically did what m0rd and oobe did cause he is a follower of the 3. Now the pinnacle of this story the point... Finally my family couldnt take it anymore being fucked with. So a person like me that doesn't call the police right the no snitch code. I went to twitter, I went to twitter and i figured these people want me dead why not give them what the fucking want. So I said I was going to kill myself give them what they wanted me dead, so i figure give them what the want never come back to ares or any other places they go to. I went ahead and typed that twitter message. I leave for a store thats 2.6 miles away I walk up to it. I get a phonecall from my mother crying stating, " the police are in your house collecting things get down there now" I return to my mother fucking apartment cause the police say they had a welfare check call. THey had my landlord take down my door. Then the police went to town collecting evidence in my house and to use it against me like bongs n shit of that nature, Then they take me to hospital against my own will i explain to them im being elbullied they insist i still go against my own will that im not suicidal. So my 1st and 4th ammendments at the hospital were violated by the officer, Basically my religion i beleived in at the time didnt condone blood test and my uncle died of prion the protein strain of mad cow disease from dirty hospital equipment which there is no known cure and you have to let them dry out giving them no water or the disease gets worse and in like 6 or 7 days the die no matter what. So ontop of violating my religios freedoms the officer denied me my hypaa rights. Ive been on dissability for a long time and when you get a dissability check they ask you who do you want your next of kin to contact incase of emergency, I said my mother ofcourse. I asked for my next of contact to be informed 4 fucking times that iw as in the hospital the officer, the off duty officer acting as security, and the paramedic told me i wasnt aloud to have it. THATS FUCKING BEYOND ILLEGAL EVERY MOTHER FUCKIN PERSON THAT ENTERS A HOSPITAL IS ALOUD TO CONTACT NEXT OF KIN TO LET THEM KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. SINCE I WAS ON DISSABILITY AND CONSIDERED A RETARD THEY THOUGHT I WASNT AWARE OF MY RIGHTS WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL, GUESS FUCKING WHAT I WAS FULLY AWARE OF THEM CAUSE OF MY SISTER WORKING AT 2 HOSPITALS. thank god for my former landlord, even though he had a choice of not letting them in my house i rented. The cops refused to the call my next of kin my landlord ended up calling my mother cause the police and the hospital refused to and 2 hours later she showed me, and said to me the cops never called me back telling me you were going to hospital. Ok fast forwrd an hour later. The officer that violated my rights comes back to the emergency room psychiatric pod when my mother was in it, hands me 2 fucking slips to sign to show up infront of a judge for the used bongs the find in my house. I was shocked this asshole thought i wasnt good enough to be on my own mentally, but thought that I was able minded enough to sign some tickets to show up to court for what they found in my house. The officers intimidated me with verbal threats of violence that they would take the blood from me. Fast forward some months later I get sentenced to 1 year probation I get a drug paraphonelia charge, which is a misdemeanor, they charge me with disorderly conduct, then they order me to not go on social media fro the remainder of my probation. Which cut me off from making money with seo cpa adds or ppc for a long time. Then while i was on probation i would periodically return to ares see what was being said. Zach TM got me probation violated the very monther fucker that thraetend to kill my mother got me probation violated and i faced 2 months in jail. Well court came for this probation violation, basically the judge said to me in so many words no matter what you say your talking yourself into a jail cell. Thats when I said my 1st adn 4th asmmendments were violated along with my hypa rights, the judge then said whoa whats that got to do with anything very loudly, and I kinda think that was a signal to the dude who was taking shorthand to strike that from the record. WHen i said that to this bitter old fuck of a judge face kinda got red like this guy just said the magic words to keep me from sending him to jail. I then for my punishment didnt get jail I got another year ordered off social media. Now moral of the story is I come from a urban enviornment right where you do not talk to the police under any circumstances. I hate the police see that they serve no purpose but to hurt people that are innocent. Because after all you could kill someone right and if the police don't want to investigate it or think its worth to investigate they don't and you dont get charges. But im saying to you now if you ever get in situation like me where your family is put at risk because people want to decide they want to bully you for shits and giggles and end up having someone attempting to break into your mothers house which the back door still shows signs of forece entry the door frame is cracked and the lock no longer works thank whoever it was a steel door. But if it ever gets to the point of fuckin with your family you call the police and you press charges, because you will end up like me with charges of disorderly conduct and some other shit because you thought the way you could handle it would kill the situation. Now i have a misdemeanor charges that will hang over my head for the rest of the time im in this body. Admins admining this thread, I have not disclosed physical places I have not disclosed first and last names I have not disclosed the ares Arlink's a person uses to get into there rooms to find these people Ihave no disclosed anyones identity Further more I have not put anyone at risk telling my story other than embarrasing myself Please keep this thread up for moral purposes as there are people no matter what age they are can learn from the mistakes i have made.