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Look at this asshole.... LMAO

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by dizz, Aug 16, 2009.

  1. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    We got this from Dontevenreply(.)com

    Original ad:
    i am 17 years old and looking to buy my first car! if you have a good, cheap and reliable car for a student please let me know. thank you!
    From Mike Anderson to ***********@*******.org

    Hey there!

    I saw your ad and have a great car for a young driver such as yourself. I am selling my beautiful 1992 Toyota Camry. This car is almost perfect. 148,342 miles on it. I need to go to Wawa tomorrow, so that mileage might change. I'm estimating it will be somewhere around 148,347 miles. If this is a problem, let me know and I will ride my bike to Wawa.

    The car has a few MINOR problems but nothing too bad:

    - The ashtray is stuck shut from when I accidentally spilled a beer on it. I think there is like $2 in change in there, so if you can open the ashtray, it's all yours.
    - Due to a bad trip in Philly, I no longer have a radio. I run an old boom box through the cigarette lighter, however, and it sounds great. It is a 1986 Sony Cassette player. I'll throw in a Raffi cassette tape for an extra $10. The tape is Raffi in Concert with the Rise & Shine Band, and is an excellent album.
    - The glovebox is locked and I lost the key to it, so it won't open. Unfortunately there was a tuna sandwich locked in there, and you can smell it in the car. It isn't that bad if you light some incense. I dropped a few sticks of incense between the seats, you can have them if you find em.
    - The hood latch is broken and the hood will occasionally fly up and hit the windshield while driving. The windshield is currently cracked from the last time this happened, but the crack isn't that bad. In fact, it helps air out the stench of the tuna.
    - Needs new front and rear brakes. The ones on there don't really stop, but if you give the emergency brake a good tug it should take care of everything.
    - There is a hornets nest somewhere under the hood. I have no idea where. Occasionally a hornet will blow in through the air conditioning vent, but I will include a fly swatter above the visor.
    - There is some blood on the passenger seat and all over the side of the door. If you are ever pulled over and the police ask about it, just tell them the previous owner hit a deer. Don't say who I am though.
    - I bought the car from someone who replaced the original horn with a freight train horn. It is really loud and I don't recommend using it, I have caused several accidents with it.

    Besides these problems, this is a great starter car for any young driver! I actually call it the "ladies mobile" because the chicks dig it.

    I am asking $6000 for it, but am willing to negotiate.

    Thanks,

    Mike

    From joey ******* to Me

    hey thanks for the offer! $6000 sounds like a little much for that car. my dad only gave me a $4000 budget, would you be willing to take that?

    From Mike Anderson to joey ********
    Son, you obviously have no experience in buying vehicles. When I said I was willing to negotiate, I meant I was willing to take more money for the car if you wanted to give it to me. Minimum is $6,000. Talk to your dad, and he will tell you that this car is a once-in-a-lifetime deal. He'll be pissed if he saw that you passed this up.

    Mike

    From joey ******* to Me

    What the hell is wrong with you? That car is a piece of shit! Stop e-mailing my son, you moron.




    This shit is fucking funny.. They have more shit like this on there of every kind.... Blackhat gone wild!! WOOO HOOO...:D
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 16
  2. IntensE

    IntensE Power Member

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    LMAO
    Code:
    Dontevenreply.com
    that site is freaking hilarious, so many funny ads :)) the horse one is terrific :D
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  3. MuonTrail

    MuonTrail Registered Member

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    I'm not gonna lie... I kinda want to do this now.
     
  4. IntensE

    IntensE Power Member

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    man, im still on the website, i gave you rep for posting this one (not that it matters.. but the action of doing it is what it counts right ?) :D rofl
     
  5. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    Thanks a lot, if you knew why our rep stays at -70, you would laugh.. LOL It just keeps going back to that number.... ROFLMAO... du duuuu de duu do, ROFLMAO... LOL.
     
  6. _TwaT_

    _TwaT_ Newbie

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    That post made me chuckle. I actually have a friend that had a similar car, all beat up and half the functions didn't work or operate correctly, then listed everything that was bad in a CL ad, and then sold it to some idiot.
     
  7. fishingjen

    fishingjen Registered Member

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    Sorry cant give you a rep yet...but that site is soo funny. I am still on it
    thanks for the laugh
     
  8. IntensE

    IntensE Power Member

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    okay okay finished all the website, and STILL managed to not fall from the chair woohoo !
     
  9. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    i am glad y'all liked it we though it was cool.
     
  10. turnhardtoeasy

    turnhardtoeasy Junior Member

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    cool site dude...
    really liked it
    just read
    Operation: Soccer Escort and will be reading more...
     
  11. rebellord

    rebellord Registered Member

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    Thanks for the site. I think I just killed an hour of my life, and maybe my laptop as I spewed coffee all over the keyboard!
     
  12. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    We are not liable for any damage, injuries, etc caused by laughter, amusement, outrange, etc caused by our threads and the contents within. Thank you...


    Disclaimer
     
  13. Bizzman27

    Bizzman27 Junior Member

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    Too Funny... This is one of the funnest things I have ever read, Great shear...
     
  14. _unknown_

    _unknown_ Junior Member

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    ROTFLMAO @ "The hood latch is broken and the hood will occasionally fly up and hit the windshield while driving..."
     
  15. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    Which has actually happened to one of Jason's cars when his dad brought it to him... LMAO..... Looked at the engine and didn't fully close it... HUH... Even I am not that bad... LMAO
     
  16. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    Fuck this place is fucking funny... Want to see how many times I can say fuck in a sentence??? LMAO.. Ok heres another one from the same site:

    Fat Bitch Won't Ride the Bus
    Posted at: 2009-06-15 17:08:40

    Original ad:
    im looking for ride from the philadelphia area to pittsburgh next friday. i will split the cost of gas with you. I am female, and would prefer to ride with another female or young(21-ish) person.
    From Mike Anderson to ************@*********.org

    Hey! I am going to Pittsburgh and can give you a ride. Can you meet me at 30th St. Station 11 AM on Friday? By the way, I'm 21, so you don't have to worry about riding with some old creeper.
    Mike

    From Melanie ******** to Me
    hey mike! that sounds good. how much do you want for gas? let me get your number so we can work out the details

    From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
    Melanie,

    I was thinking around $70 should cover it. Unfortunately I do not have a cell phone because I accidentally forgot to take my pants off when I was taking a bath last night and forgot my cell phone was in the pocket. It won't turn on! Could you just stand outside of the west entrance with a sign that says "I'm Melanie" ? I'll look for you.

    Mike

    From Melanie ******** to Me
    wow i wasnt expecting to pay $70! why so much? i was thinking more around 30-35 bucks! also im not standing out there with a sign lol.

    From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
    Melanie, I'm sorry but the price is not negotiable. Unfortunately the cheapest bus ticket is $70. Do you want to just meet me on the bus if you don't want to stand out there with a sign?

    From Melanie ******** to Me
    what?! i didnt want to ride a bus! i thought you were driving a car to pittsburgh. wtf dude

    From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
    Well shit Melanie, I didn't think you would be so picky about what kind of vehicle you wanted to ride in. If price is an issue, I can sneak you on the bus. I've done it before with my son. I have a duffel bag that is pretty big, and you can just hide inside it and not move and they will load you under the bus. I'll make sure that they put you on top of all the other luggage so you aren't crushed. You can have my video ipod to stay entertained during the bus ride. It has the first season of Deadwood on it. You aren't fat, are you? I don't want the bag to rip from underneath when they lift it up.

    Mike

    From Melanie ******** to Me
    are you fucking with me? this has to be a joke. there is no fucking way im doing that

    From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
    Oh, you aren't a Deadwood fan? I think I have the Ben Affleck hit "Gigli" on my iPod if you wanted to watch that instead.

    From Melanie ******** to Me
    NO! IM NOT SNEAKING ON TO THE FUCKING BUS IN A GODDAMN SUITCASE

    From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
    Okay, I didn't realize you were so sensitive about your weight. If you can't fit in the duffel bag that's fine. I just went and ordered you the bus ticket. It is pretty much first-come first-serve for seating on the bus. You can sit next to me if you want, but I want the window seat. I also have to get up a lot to pee so you will have to get up so I can squeeze out.

    From Melanie ******** to Me
    IM NOT RIDING THE BUS! I'LL FIND ANOTHER RIDE

    From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
    Well you owe me $70 for the ticket! I can't return it!

    From Melanie ******** to Me
    I NEVER SAID TO BUY IT! THAT IS YOUR FAULT DUDE GOODBYE
     
  17. onetoo3com

    onetoo3com Registered Member

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    Oh Dizz, thanks for making me laugh so much.
     
  18. keinehabe

    keinehabe Supreme Member

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    I can't stop laugh guys this conversations are real ?
     
  19. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    yea no shit they are real..go to that site and u will see so many more.
     
  20. dizz

    dizz Elite Member

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    We saw threads that are copying our thread.. Not really, but they are posting similar things off the same site. LMAO.. Isn't that cool, we got copied!