Long And Brown vs Big and White vs Small/Medium Yellow?

pewep · Sep 29, 2016

Hey guys, I'm going to a celebration tomorrow and I needed advice on getting something for the birthday lass.

My friend said she's never had any good sugar in her life before and I thought it should always be special every time. I'm really going out of my way and being really anal about making it perfect. For her birthday, I hate doing this but.. I'll go downtown. Not to brag but I'm a cunning linguist and should be able to get a good deal that will make her happy.

But I was really wondering, for her first yummy cake, should it be a big white one, a long black brownie or should I get twinkies? How can I guarantee to get large twinkies? I mean no disrespect to the hostess community, and I know that twinkies come in a variety of shapes and sizes just like any other kind of cake, but I'd like to get a big one. I'm just asking for..a friend.

I'd be happy to give her my own cake but I already have and she said it makes her too full every time so we're trying something new this year.

Thank you kindly for the advice.

Your dearest friend,
Pewep

Wilson Grant Fisk · Sep 29, 2016

White: http://metro.co.uk/2016/09/23/final...s-cake-that-ejaculates-whipped-cream-6148701/
Black:

Aesteroth · Sep 29, 2016

Bake her a cake with your own special ingredients. She will appreciate something you make her as opposed to something you buy. This will be you in no time:

pewep · Sep 29, 2016

Why do I get the feeling that you guys are saying one thing but talking about something entirely different? Can you please be serious for one second?

Finn · Sep 29, 2016

Once the cake is on the table, take your slice like a boss.

Zwielicht · Sep 29, 2016

pewep said:
My friend said she's never had any good sugar in her life before and I thought it should always be special every time. I'm really going out of my way and being really anal about making it perfect. For her birthday, I hate doing this but.. I'll go downtown. Not to brag but I'm a cunning linguist and should be able to get a good deal that will make her happy.

Trips downtown can be stressful. While you're downtown, go to the grocery store and look for a product called "Teavana Belgian Rock Sugar". I often use that sugar in my tea and it's much more satisfying than the pure cane sugar. A pack of it should be about $8.50, but if you're strapped for cash, use those cunning linguist skills of yours to try to haggle the price down a bit.

pewep said:
But I was really wondering, for her first yummy cake, should it be a big white one, a long black brownie or should I get twinkies? How can I guarantee to get large twinkies? I mean no disrespect to the hostess community, and I know that twinkies come in a variety of shapes and sizes just like any other kind of cake, but I'd like to get a big one. I'm just asking for..a friend.

Store-bought Twinkies only come in one size, however, if you're feeling adventurous, you can give her a homemade Twinkie that can made in any size.

pewep said:
I'd be happy to give her my own cake but I already have and she said it makes her too full every time so we're trying something new this year.

The solution to that is simple: give her smaller portions.

Finn · Sep 29, 2016

pewep said:
Why do I get the feeling that you guys are saying one thing but talking about something entirely different? Can you please be serious for one second?

bossofthebosses · Sep 29, 2016

"for her first yummy cake" => so are we talking about a 1 year old girl here?

Aesteroth · Sep 29, 2016

pewep said:
Why do I get the feeling that you guys are saying one thing but talking about something entirely different? Can you please be serious for one second?

Sorry man. All jokes aside. Definitely get twinkies. Chicks dig twinkies.

Zwielicht · Sep 29, 2016

Seriously Pewep, were you listening to this song earlier? Your post sounds a lot like this song.

Edit: Hey, that song has some great lines you can use.

Aw man I got a sweet tooth, can you dig it
After this one you gon need a root canal
Gimme some of your butter pecan
French Vanilla's a hell of a flavor for me, With strawberries, two cherries and whipped cream
I'm bout to go coo-coo to taste your Coco Puffs

pewep · Sep 29, 2016

Zwielicht said:
Seriously Pewep, were you listening to this song earlier? Your post sounds a lot like this song.

Oh shit hahah I used to love that song, thanks for reminding me!

SoccerLover · Sep 29, 2016

Get the best one from bakery or bake the one

of her choice.
Give a try? Bro!

pewep · Sep 29, 2016

You guys are being really inappropriate and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm just trying to find the best way to stuff her and leave her begging me for a weekly treat. She's a very good friend, and you're acting really weird.

Finn · Sep 29, 2016

pewep said:
You guys are being really inappropriate and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm just trying to find the best way to stuff her and leave her begging me for a weekly treat. She's a very good friend, and you're acting really weird.

Well, thats a nice animated gif you got there mate. Search term "Guy with a boner" I assume?

Zwielicht · Sep 29, 2016

pewep said:
I'm just trying to find the best way to stuff her and leave her begging me for a weekly treat.

Consider hiring a taxidermist. During your initial consultation, mention that you want her with a soliciting expression.

DiMaster · Sep 29, 2016

I think because of my bad English all this thread looks like a guy is trying to get his friend fucked or something like this. Even a thread looks like you are asking what nation of prostitute you should take....
Long And Brown
Big and White
Small/Medium Yellow
Wtf?
And this one:

pewep said:
being really anal

what does it mean?
Thanks in advance for explaning. Want to make my English better.

pewep · Sep 29, 2016

DiMaster said:
I think because of my bad English all this thread looks like a guy is trying to get his friend fucked or something like this. Even a thread looks like you are asking what nation of prostitute you should take....
Long And Brown
Big and White
Small/Medium Yellow
Wtf?
And this one:

what does it mean?
Thanks in advance for explaning. Want to make my English better.

Actually I was talking about cocaine import/export and what quality/grade I should use as well as where to process the raw materials.

Anal - my mules would cross the border with balloon pellets stuck up their asses.

DiMaster · Sep 29, 2016

pewep said:
Actually I was talking about cocaine import/export

This actually puts everything on its places. Thanks, bro)

Sherb · Sep 29, 2016

Zwielicht said:
look for a product called "Teavana Belgian Rock Sugar".

What kind of grocery store do you have in the southwest where you can just get Teavana rock sugar?? I've got to drive to the Haywood Mall to the actual Teavana store to get my fix.

Conor · Sep 29, 2016

pewep said:
How can I guarantee to get large twinkies

I'm pretty sure the chocolate ones are the biggest. The cream in those is the tastiest as well.

Long And Brown vs Big and White vs Small/Medium Yellow?

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