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Lack of confidence on a scale from 1 to 10: -4. Help!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by LinkContractor, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. LinkContractor

    LinkContractor Registered Member

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    I did a psychological test a while ago and the woman there was astonished that I have a biiiiiiiiiiiiig lack in confidence. I blamed the 3 P from my teenage (parents, professors, priests... and evil aliens, for that matter).

    Recently I found out (pretty late, yea) that I'm 100% responsible for my life and that was a hard idea to swallow!

    I bought Blog Comment Demon a few months ago but to this date, haven't use the tool at all, fearing that the customers will ask for refunds, saying that my English is bad, that my writing skill is bad... ah, the demons in the subconscious mind!

    Anyway, can you give me some pointers? I still fear adding a gig on fiverr!

    P.S. with BCD and Sliq you can make ~10$ / hour (which is bliss compared to 1.5$ / hour average salary in Romania).

    /sigh :-/
     
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  2. Patel

    Patel Senior Member

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    I am not sure if you are asking for confidence advice or how to make money online. Gotta choose 1 bro.

    The confidence issue, you are confident. Be bold.

    As for making money, stop buying stuff and do everything yourself. Even if it takes a long time, but once you get a little bit of traffic, you can use that cash to invest.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2012
  3. LinkContractor

    LinkContractor Registered Member

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    Well, my head is full of information on how to make money online (one time I was thinking of creating a mini recurring forum, asking newbies for 5$ / month for private access and coaching ^^).

    Unfortunately, I'm a very big procrastinator... for 4 years now. Maybe IM is not for me... ah, life is so difficult! :)

    Thanks for your kind words. Going to organize some things now!
     
  4. Patel

    Patel Senior Member

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    Its not for everyone
     
  5. artizhay

    artizhay BANNED BANNED

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    I see what you did there.
     
  6. silentthunder

    silentthunder Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Don't let anyone kid you. You're right for being concerned. Congratulations on having the intelligence to zero in on the heart of the matter. Deal with this and your eventual success is certain in anything you choose. Esteem and confidence are different things but connected. Almost everyone has something that makes them feel overwhelming confidence and esteem. Maybe its a song, a memory, a hobby or a movie.
    Transfer that confidence to your desire for confidence in anything else (IM for instance). How?


    • Listen to that music while working on IM.
    • Think of that memory while learning and doing IM.
    • Watch 20 mins of that movie then work on IM for 30 mins. and repeat.
    • Do anything that "shuffles" your confident thing with your desire for IM confidence until confidence in IM becomes a habit. ;)


     
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  7. acotut

    acotut Elite Member

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    Hey mate.As other guys above you said,stop buying stuff and do everything yourself.Start something small with no investment and keep doing on what's working for you.I understand lack of confidence sucks big times,but if you're problem is really sever,you should see a psychologist(medic psiholog) and tell him about this.If you think you're powerfull enough not to go,why don't you do something like risk everything or...GET A JOB? If you fear of doing something (online) as the example u stated above,just risk everything you got right now,and if you fail,take the local newspaper and start searching for a job.Get out of IM for awhile,yea a break is always good,and you'll see lots and lots of ideas comming out :).

    Good luck my Romanian Bro' !
     
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  8. MeetTheVirus

    MeetTheVirus Regular Member

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    Confidence comes from being comfortable with something. When I first started doing IM, I would get so many questions about SEO from clients and I would start scrabbling my words trying to bullshit my way out of stuff.

    Now I rarely get questions that actually makes me go "shit I don't know"

    The more you practice the more confident you will get.. Similar to talking to girls / asking them out on dates. Practice makes perfect with anything in life.

    My advice - Just go ahead and take that leap, after the first couple sales you will start building up the confidence.

    You never know if you will make that basket unless you shoot for it.
     
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  9. gr8tocre8

    gr8tocre8 Registered Member

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    I do have an excellent suggestion for you my friend. Buy a book called "Go for No! Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There". It basically turns your biggest fears/weaknesses (lack of confidence) into your strengths.

    I've read it myself, and it is mindblowingly powerful for anyone who's ever been afraid of rejection. Warmly recommended.
     
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  10. LinkContractor

    LinkContractor Registered Member

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    I posted a big message here but for some reasons BHW didn't let me submit it (too many 'thanks' in the post probably ^^).

    That's the reason BHW rocks big time. It's the perfect community for beginners. All the guys here are friendly and jovial plus tons of free info. It's like a business university!

    >:D< group hug for blackhatworld!
     
  11. ajithrocksca

    ajithrocksca Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I can exactly understand your mindset. It is good that you finally realized that you are responsible for your life. In our culture we used to say that we are even responsible (past karma) for being born in a particular womb.

    Now coming to your issue, if my guess is right you selected IM, to avoid real interaction with people. Had you been to a 9/5 job then you would have had the same issue with confidence and would have worried about your superiors. This happens to many, especially people who as a kid were scared of parents (especially father) or scared of someone significant like school teacher and so on.

    It is a very hard thing to get out off. There are two ways of solving this, one is through yoga and meditation (we have a concept called as soonya meditation), to explain this will take a few pages and a lot of typing, so I will tell you about the other solution, it is a method based on 'denial'.

    In your life you don't want to do anything that involves a second person, and you have slowly cultivated this habit and are remaining inside a safe virtual wall created by yourself. So just whenever you get a choice of doing an easy thing and a difficult thing, just deny the easy thing. This will change your life forever if you persist with this.

    For instance, there is a prospective client, you can either go that extra mile and convert him in to your client or sit back worrying about his reaction to your service. The latter is easy, but don't do it. He will not kill you for a poor service. If you wake up in the morning, you have two options, to wake up briskly and do your exercise or to sleep for some more time. The latter is easy, but deny it. Deny everything that is easy and do things that are difficult. You will change as a person. Just think a moment when you are presented with a choice.

    You will succeed.. all the best..

    Ajith
     
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  12. BlueTurtle

    BlueTurtle BANNED BANNED

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    I agree with this, but I personally have a modification as I don't believe life IS difficult or SHOULD be 'difficult'.

    I replace the word 'difficult' with the word 'different'. So every time something comes along I ask myself "What would I normally do?", then I do something different.

    When you do this it opens you up to a lot of new experiences and gaining confidence is a consequence of it.

    When you just pick the difficult one, you might end up ALWAYS picking the same path, the difficult, hard one, which will have better results than always picking the easy one, but not as good as just doing something different every time.


     
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  13. ajithrocksca

    ajithrocksca Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I would agree with this. In fact if you do things that way, life becomes very interesting and full of fun. However my suggestion to him was very specific to his problem and not a suggestion for everyone.
     
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  14. BlueTurtle

    BlueTurtle BANNED BANNED

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    Exactly, yes! It does become very interesting and full of fun. You obviously know exactly what I'm talking about. :)


    Yeah, he might be better off with specifically choosing the 'difficult' path just now, since he might not realize what 'different' should be and end up picking another pointless easy thing :)
     
  15. gr8tocre8

    gr8tocre8 Registered Member

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    Since so many peeps liked this, I found a free download link for the book for ya'll (replace xx with tt): hxxp://bit.ly/GWe5qM. Grab it while it's still up:).
     
  16. xtroublex

    xtroublex Registered Member

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    I think your english and writing is fine if the post was written by you... :D
     
  17. SelbyChariss

    SelbyChariss Newbie

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    confidence is in its best form when you are full of knowledge, still works for me, might help you as well
     
  18. dowser

    dowser Power Member

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    You are sabotaging your own success by comments like the one below! "Think positive" sounds like a new age idea, but it works! The more you repeat what you lack the more you will lack! Your subconscious mind is like a mind of a child - it will sponge what you expose it to the most - in your case - negative thoughts! Learn to recognize negative thoughts and either erase them or change them into something constructive.

    There are many places you can get positive affirmations - force yourself if you have to to read them 5-10 times a day and some will burn into your subconscious.

     
  19. fuzzface

    fuzzface Newbie

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    First of all I agree with all the above posters, stop buying stuff and trying to do things your self will help you learn the intricate details of how these things work.

    I have friends who only buy shit and Im the only one doing things manually. I think im much more informed. Yes they save time, but im actually having fun doing it so I dont mind.

    As far as confidence, you just gotta believe in yourself. There is nothing anyone else can do or say to help with that. I believe you can do it. Trust your self.

    Lastly, try looking into meditating.

    Good Luck!
     
  20. Endire

    Endire Elite Member Premium Member

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    I think those that posted on this thread all have something in common, they care enough to share with someone they don't know jack about, but... their advice means nothing unless you actually do something about it.

    It's like if I have this conversation with myself, "Dang dude, you are getting fat!"... one week later, "Wow man, you are getting huge!"... One month, year, decade, "Look at you, you're fat!"... What's the point in having the conversation unless I am going to decide it's time to change. All it ends up doing is reminding myself that I am fat. Do something!

    Here is what I would say - congrats on seeing that you are responsible for your own life... Do you also know you are totally responsible for what you think too? By harnessing the way you think about yourself, life and your profession, you can re-create the reality you are in.

    Finally, if you have the means to get this book or audio, buy "Think and Grow Rich". I think you will find comfort in what you read and a challenge to do something that you might not have done before.

    I truly hope you find what you are looking for... All the best to you!
     
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