Holy shit that was crazy! I just got in from an altercation with a black bear--a friggin' black bear! So I'm driving from work to my buddy xbon869x's house in my two-door Honda Civic when I lose control due to some icy/slick roads up here (I live far up north in MI). Despite generally being very prepared for situations like this, I had no shovel and no way to yank my little car out of the snow embankment, so I decided to just walk back to work (it was only a few miles away). I'm hiking my ass back to work when what I think is a deer springs out of the woods. Before I know it, I've been slammed to the ground and don't know which way is up. Talk about pain. Now, I carry a Ka-Bar at all times, because I work at McDonald's and I don't trust those motherfuckers, and once I came to my senses I got up and was ready to stab the crap out of that bear. But get this: black bears are strong. I mean strong. In under a second from me getting up, he had literally tore my face off and sent me flying back to the pavement. Luckily for me, my attack dog that I keep in the car got out. As the bear leaned down to gnaw at my ass with his big teeth, my pooch tore a big hole right in the bear's throat. Mind you, my pup's just a miniature dachshund, but that little bastard has got some teeth! Anyway, the bear didn't die immediately from the wounds to his throat. Like the badass black bear he was, he started gnashing around and broke Sir Mixalot's back (that's my dachshund). Needless to say I was crushed by that realization, but I didn't have time to react (he's fine anyway now, he's got one of those little cone things to keep him from gnawing at himself, I like to put food and stuff in it and he can't eat it lol gonna put that shit on YouTube). I couldn't react--the reason being that my face was torn off and I was laying on the ground. I thought I was going to die, but then the man himself--Fidel Castro--saved my ass. Yes. Fidel Castro. When I saw his face I could do nothing but emit a loud cheer, "Fidel, Fidel". Fidel Castro had walked onto the scene like he owned the place, straight, tall, and firm. He came to greet that god damn black bear and shook his head like he wouldn't stand for this any longer. Needless to say, the 73-year-old leader took the remainder of the bear's life in effortless hand-to-hand combat. I had time to get my face stitched back on and Sir Mixalot got his back repaired before we got home; hopefully my micro-niche AdSense blogs kick off so I can pay the medical bills. Anyway I took a picture as proof, right before Fidel laid the smack down: P.S. You guys will never believe this but xbon869x had the same thing happen to him with a big ass buck right before I even got to his house. I uploaded the pic of the dead buck to my hunting website but the date is a little screwy; I'm too exhausted from the bear brawl to sort that out anytime soon.