It's a lounge post, so pass it up if you must. Just want to get something off my chest, see if you guys have ever felt the way i do today. In the mid-2000's I dated a girl for about 5 yrs, a person i thought was amazing. Fun loving, carefree, huge heart, and great head on her shoulders. We ended things after that time period because of scheduling, both having demanding careers, etc it just became too difficult to see one another. So a bit after we went our separate ways she began seeing someone else, I knew about him, I actually knew who he was through association of friends in the city. I had no ill feelings towards them dating, in fact she seemed pretty happy and I was moving on as well. Over time, the most recent 3 years she has been with him, I have spoken with her off and on just friendly and catching up about family and whatnot. I noticed she was changing a lot for this guy, moving to a different country, studying his religion, sold her condo in the city, sold her car, all to be with him in his country. I was witnessing the person I knew getting zapped of all of her independent energy, she didn't speak on her own anymore, it was more what he wanted. She didn't have the huge laugh, the big smile, the carefree nature, and big heart. Her mind shifted to materialism, being elitist to certain people, only doing things that people of a wealthy ilk would find acceptable. Oddly enough money has always been there, even when her and I were dating we had it very well off but she maintained that huge heart and happiness. Well today she calls me crying, sobbing on her way to a therapist. He dumped her, told her to go home to her country and not come back that it was over. So as a friend I just wanted to talk through the situation with her and it was like I was talking to an entirely different human being. We are both mature adults so there were no ulterior motives to the call or to me talking with her. I have always wanted her to be happy. So I asked, "well what is it that you are actually missing about him? I think he is pretty cold hearted about the way he went about it, especially for no good reason" (and if there were a good reason she would tell me, she doesnt hide things)... so she proceeded to talk about how she missed al things that had to do with materialism, money, cars, the travel, the dinners with important people... never ONCE did she say she missed anything personally about HIM. So i stopped her and pointed it out, and between her crying she said, "well i miss those things, i dont want to keep working forever and I was going to be quitting work next year and we were just going to travel together".... It was so awkward, so painful to hear the girl who I met as a carefree college girl from a small town with a huge heart, sob tears over not having the car she wanted, and the dinners with dignitaries. ... It is just a real shock how bad people forget where they've come from and it just broke my heart today to hear how much she has changed. In years past I would have tried to run to her side and even console her, and had always wanted to date her again in the back of my head... but after today I couldn't even see myself with this "new" person, this new girl isn't even someone I would want for my future. Don't forget what you are at your core, and don't let the money of success change everything about you. It's sad to watch the progression over time from carefree huge heart, to a person on their way to a therapist because they don't get to retire in their late 20's.