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I've had what can i do??

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by romeo216, Apr 16, 2009.

  1. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    Sorry bh'ers but i have to vent here.

    I work my behind off all day on this computer. Trying to provide a living for me, my son and fiancee. My work goes unappreciated by her. I'm soooo tired of it.

    It's beginning to take its toll on me. I can not concentrate on any of my work anymore. I just can't focus. That's key when trying to run an internet biz. There's too much going on here throughout the day.

    I sit here all day and all she does is argue either that or I can feel the tension in the air when she walks into the room. I can't get anything done anymore. I'm losing it. It's making me depressed. I used to be able to figure out new ways to make money extremely fast but now I just can't do it.

    She needs to do something constructive with her time. I began to question why I need her. That's sad. It really is. We go on vacations and have miserable times...My nerves are getting bad. What the heck can i do? I'm trying to keep my sanity but it's becoming more difficult each day.

    I haven't been able to earn the kind of money I've been accustomed to earning for the last 2 months.
     
  2. nikki

    nikki Newbie

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    I thought you had a wife that was seriously ill a while ago (?) not a fiance that you go on vacations with ;)
     
  3. aмillionaírе

    aмillionaírе Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Practice EMT, and try to reason. Don't review the option of divorce right away, we don't need another broken family in this world (your child). Good luck, it can be stressing!

    ::EDIT:: you seem to be a rich forex man, I'm sure you can at least use your wealth to customize a healthy environment.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2009
  4. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    nikki, this is very serious. She is ill and i wont get into her illness but that does not prevent her from acting childish and it does not prevent us from vacationing.
     
  5. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    caesar,

    i cant allow my son to be in this environment. I hate to break up our family but it's not healthy for him to see his mom and dad arguing everyday. Only if you guys knew what I was dealing with.
     
  6. nikki

    nikki Newbie

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    isn´t counselling an option? it is possible that she thinks you don´t have a real job (offline), just a thought, maybe you should remind her that many people are losing their jobs due to the crisis...
     
  7. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    nikki,

    a lot of people don't think this is a real job. they think i live each day stress free. In reality, I probably have more stress than them. I have to make this happen. They can work 40 hours per week and be guaranteed income...I can work 40 hours and be guaranteed nothing. I believe this comes with more stress than a regular job.

    Yes, I've earned good money over the years. Yes, I've prepared myself for droughts when I'm not making money but there is still a high level of stress to maintain everything I have worked so hard for and to have to sit here and take garbage from someone who is living off me for free without any worries really bothers me.

    Counseling will not help a person who always thinks they're right. She's never wrong. Even when she's proven to be wrong she finds justification in it.

    I've been earning money online for 8 years without having to work a day job during that time...it is a real job. If it isn't then i don't know what is.
     
  8. seikooc

    seikooc Regular Member

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    Sounds like a problem many FULL TIME online marketers have!! I think what nikki said is accurate "it is possible that she thinks you don´t have a real job (offline)"... Maybe get an office and don't work from home so much... I can tell you when I was online marketing at my "Day Job" I never heard that I worked too much until I started working from home.

    My answer: Don't work from home full time... Hope that helps.
     
  9. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    Yeah, if I get an office space, I'll get accused of cheating and it'll bring on more issues. I can't win.

    I had an office in my basement. i worked from 8 to 4 each day. When I'd come upstairs I'd always hear that I had to be chatting with some females online all day. I stopped workiing down there and brought my computer upstairs...now all i hear is arguments about everything imaginable.

    I am in a terrible situation. I have a kid with her. She's lazy and Jealous. I blame myself for allowing this but I really loved her...i don't even feel the same anymore.
     
  10. superbspurs

    superbspurs Regular Member

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    Get an office away from home. You'll be able to focus better that way and maybe then she'll see it as a 'real' job. Think of the things about your woman that you like, maybe her smile, there must be something about her that keeps you with her.
    Bottom line is you need to change something.
     
  11. showbizvet

    showbizvet Power Member

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    I can understand on all fronts... first the part about working, working, working, with no guarantee of profit. There have been day (not now) that I didn't make a cent, it was depressing. In my case I didn't have anyone shooting daggers at me, but depressing nonetheless.

    You might have to (temporarily) get a regular job, just to make ends meet, which does not stop you from still doing IM. This is a tricky biz, you can be down one day and WAY UP the next, but it takes consistent effort.

    Family is important, it is THE most important thing. Try you best to sit and talk with her in a calm collected manner. It will help though if you are bringing in a little cash. There were times (in the past) when I had to work outside my chosen profession, I din't necessarily like it, but it provided fuel (money) so I could continue.

    Take a breath, life is tough sometimes, but don't give up.
     
  12. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    Money is not the issue. It has never been. I've sat and talked to her numerous times. This hasn't just started happening. I've exhausted everything. She thinks she's right all the time. There's no getting through. Things don't seem to sink in.
     
  13. IntensE

    IntensE Power Member

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    just let it go man and let the chips fall where they may (fight club movie, you really should watch it)
    had the same problems with my gf, i became immune, and i don't care now. there is plenty of fish in the waters. your situation is different because of the kid.
     
  14. nikki

    nikki Newbie

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    You can only be hard cold and tell her that you worked this job for 8 years, that you never cheated, that you cannot live like this, that if she wants your son to have both parents spplit up so be it and that she is being so difficult that is really killing any love you had for her. Be straightforward and see what happens. Also do tell her to go get a job just so she can see what it is like to work. Unfortunately, unless she changes drastically you will have no way out :( She does need couselling. Any friends that know you both ( hell or even her own family? ) ? Hope you can solve it. Been there.
     
  15. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    Yes, I've talked to her mom...She won't listen to her mom. We've talked to my parents. Things may be fine for a week or two but then it's back to the same thing.

    No, I can't live like this. It's difficult. You never know which person you're going to get on a day to day basis. I have to decide something before she makes me lose everything I've worked for.
     
  16. nikki

    nikki Newbie

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    Maybe take a break, couple of weeks nothing definite might help both think, and see what happens (?) After all, your son, will always be your son, wether you live with his mom or not, and if there is a lot of arguing it won´t be good for him either.
     
  17. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    Nikki,

    I've tried that too. Nothing works. All I can do is put it into Gods hands and pray.
     
  18. alexaassassin

    alexaassassin Registered Member

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    You simply need to WRITE her a short note:

    Dear ( her name )

    Constant interruptions and arguing is affecting my ability to earn money to feed us and keep a roof over our heads. For me to earn money here, the interruptions need to stop.

    Please understand that this note is not intended to cause a fight, but rather to get things on the right track again so that you and our son don't starve to death on the street and that I have seriously been considering A) but would like to give you the choice of B) or C) - Obviously, if we fight over this, I will choose A) because I can't deal with the fighting anymore. Please think carefully about your answer.

    Which would you prefer:

    A) I leave today so that you don't interrupt me while I am working
    B) You go out and get a job while I stay here with ( son's name )
    C) Don't interrupt me for X hours every day while I work.

    Write your answer here: _______________________

    ============
    There is a 50/50 chance that she is stupid or stubborn enough to choose A
    ( You would be amazed at how many women would... just so SHE can be "in control" )
    If that is the case, take the opportunity to get away from her before she
    sucks all the life out of you. In any case, make her put her answer in writting.

    If she chooses B) - problem solved!

    If she chooses C) - It will be fixed for about 45 minutes. Then it will start again.

    I'm serious.

    So, what you need to do then is get up and leave.

    Take the day off to go somewhere and spend some time on your own.
    Go try on some new clothes - or - look at cars - or - just anything mindless.

    Call later that evening and ask her what she wants to do,
    because you are TOTALLY, 100% serious about NOT BEING INTERRUPTED.

    Men wear the pants. It's becoming more difficult, because in the past
    a woman would not THINK of being such a BRAT ...because they'd get
    a fist right in the kisser. Nowdays, they can grate on a man until he
    can't take it anymore and if he even raises his voice at her, she's "abused"
    and he's the "bad guy".

    ( DISCLAIMER: I do not support domestic violence - but I also know the cause of 15% of it. )
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2009
  19. romeo216

    romeo216 BANNED BANNED

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    I've already wrote letters to her. I've already suggested either I'm going to get an office, she's going to have to work or she's going to have to stop interrupting me. I tried get her to stop interrupting me. It doesn't work. Truthfully it lasted 1 day and then she was back at it. That's the same with anything I tell her. She listens for a day or so then it's back to doing the same thing.

    She's got to get a job or I have to get an office...i dont see the point in me getting an office...something has to give here. I am not going to go on like this.
     
  20. coxistence

    coxistence Registered Member

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    She sounds ungrateful man, she really does. It sounds like you bust your ass to ensure that you support her and your son, and she finds a reason to make YOU feel like SHIT for making HER life BETTER. That's just kind of fucked up.