1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I've always wanted to be an writer. (Prologue to a story)

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by TheLoneSynchro, Mar 21, 2014.

  1. TheLoneSynchro

    TheLoneSynchro Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    77
    I've always wanted to take a shot at creating a novel, however I've never really had the time to do it... however here recently the amount of free-time I have on my hands is increasing constantly and I finally decided to sit down and come up with a plot. I'm planning on creating this as a three book series, with each book around 150-300 pages and selling it on kindle for $2.99 (You know, why not... I might even make it free)

    Anyway, here is the "Prologue" that I just wrote, I would like you guys to comment on it and let me know of anything you see that I need to/could improve. If you think the story may be interesting or if you would want to read more of this to see where it goes. The goal is to pull someone in with the first page, and that's what I'm hoping to do while only giving some of the background.

    Anyway, here we go.

    Let the hate begin, lol.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2014
  2. hameem

    hameem Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,880
    Likes Received:
    985
    Location:
    221B Baker Street
    You have a grammatical mistake in the title of this thread.

    (Thought I'd mention it since you want to be a writer).
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  3. TheLoneSynchro

    TheLoneSynchro Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    77
    Well, would you look at that.
     
  4. LakeForest

    LakeForest Supreme Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,269
    Likes Received:
    1,802
    Location:
    Location Location
    Show, don't tell.

    That isn't a prologue as much as it's an outline and could be a book itself.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  5. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,468
    Likes Received:
    10,143
    The first line was good, I was thinking "hey, this might turn good". Then it all started to go waaaaaaaay to fast and I got bored and never reached the end. That 's not a prologue, that 's the Iliad super condensed to fit an ant 's pocketbook.
     
  6. TheLoneSynchro

    TheLoneSynchro Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    77
    The goal here was to sum up the background behind the story quickly, while allowing for the actual story to take place. (The actual story is going to be about day-to-day life throughout living in the resistance) I'll work my way around re-writing it and dragging it out some more. I've never written a prologue before, so that was my first attempt. I could have just jumped straight into the first chapter, but I decided to try my hand at something else.