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I think someone is spying on me via my microwave

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Sherb, Mar 14, 2017.

  1. Sherb

    Sherb Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    What should I do?

    It's a GE over-the-range. I'd hate to think that I'm being Watergated by the same appliance that makes such incredible Costco burritos.

    Suggestions, BH fam?
     
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  2. I know SEO

    I know SEO Marketplace Mod Moderator

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    No problem buddy, I actually have a file on my PC for just such occasions where people are being spied on by their house hold appliances.

    The microwave section is pasted in below:

    If your microwave has done any of the following there is a high chance that you are being spied on by it:
    1. Planted tracking devices in your food
    2. Communicated with you through voice commands
    3. Made a pinging noise in the night
    4. Connected itself to your router
    5. The microwave may have a NSA sticker on the back
    6. Infected you or your family with government controlled nano robots
    If any of these things have happened the following steps will help you.

    Step 1:
    The first step is to disassemble the microwave, please follow the included instructions for when you bought your microwave.

    Note: This may void your warranty.

    [​IMG]

    This is the section you need access to.

    Step 2:
    Remove all the red wires, red = danger. Removing the red wires removes the danger of your microwave spying on you.

    Step 3:
    Reassemble the microwave, be sure to put everything back EXCEPT the red wires removed in step 2.

    Step 4:
    Now as your new microwave has disobeyed you and your family by spying on you, it's now necessary to punish the appliance for doing this to make sure it does not do this again.

    To do this place metal objects into the microwave and turn it on to full for 10 minutes.

    You will see lots of sparks, this is simply the bad energy of the microwave escaping it's soul.

    I hope this helps.
     
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  3. snarky

    snarky Junior Member

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    How literal are you? Is it a microwave, or is it a “microwave”?
    The quotes matter.
     
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  4. Sherb

    Sherb Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    <3

    I don't think there are any devices in my food, I haven't noticed anything crunchier than the norm. I have heard a few voice commands coming from the microwave, but I think that ended up being the glass plate scraping against the walls. Pinging noise, fuck. Router connection... I did have something like this happen recently:

    [​IMG]

    And I'm taking it off the cabinet now to check for the sticker, plus that will get me to step one. I'll report back. Thanks for the tips.
     
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  5. Sherb

    Sherb Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    The quotes are implied. Don't be snarky, snarky.
     
  6. Aty

    Aty Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    When I saw the thread title I could swear it's Pewep again.
     
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  7. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Maybe you should check if your wires have a "tapp" on them too - it's always "the wire" first and I ain't talking Barksdale.
     
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  8. nahid133

    nahid133 Supreme Member

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    me too, then i saw it's "Sherbert" it made me more curious :D
     
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  9. datsunguy

    datsunguy Supreme Member

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    Interrogate it, find out what it knows and who it works for.

    [​IMG]
    Try some water torture if it refuses to talk, it got the toaster to spill his crumbs.


    Fuckin' terroist toasters.
     
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  10. sturose

    sturose Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    You forgot the most important step! It must be plugged in and swiched on while you disassemble and remove the red wires.
     
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  11. MR9

    MR9 Junior Member

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    We can rule out gps trackers .. microwave will fry any electronics.
    But the psychic mind control stuff? man .. thats the real deal!

    Wait a min, how do we know OP is OP not a NSA puppet? Can we please do a deep wave MRI?
     
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  12. akacash

    akacash Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I thought the same thing too, but "I'm not Inspector Gadget"....
     
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  13. Fragmaster

    Fragmaster Senior Member

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    microw2.jpg
     
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  14. Sherb

    Sherb Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    Okay I have the microwave off the cabinet. Definitely a sticker.

    Door is off, metal case is off. No bugs that I can see, but plenty of red wires. Beginning the removal process. Leaving it plugged in via @sturose's suggestion, but the cord wasn't long enough so I have a zip strip as a middleman.

    Will report back once all red wires are removed.
     
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  15. Neon

    Neon Elite Member

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    I find this thread really sexist and it abuses the human rights ! Reported for encouraging violence among the world.
    Here is a chicken in a microwave.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. sevnthaxiom

    sevnthaxiom Registered Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Vapys

    Vapys Power Member

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    Step 1. Simply build a wall between you and the microwave.
    Step 2. Have GE pay for the wall.
    Step 3. Vet your burritos.
    Problem solved!
     
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  18. sturose

    sturose Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Ok so did this end badly for our @Sherbert Hoover

    No posts for the last couple of hours!

    Have we nuked sherbs???
     
  19. tb303

    tb303 Senior Member

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  20. I know SEO

    I know SEO Marketplace Mod Moderator

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    I hope his death keeps you up at night.
     
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