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I need your dark embrace, bhw

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by pewep, Sep 24, 2014.

  1. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Today was a

    bad

    fucking day - JESUS. I can't really post on it over here due to the rules, but let's just say that it's going down up in here (yeehaw). I just saw a fucking disturbing scene too, and a direct mockery/insult to me - and a threat telling me to stop or else.

    Dear Blackhat Daddy, sit me on your lap and hold me in your big fuzzy, manly embrace. I want you to tell me it's going to be alright and that every single one of my dreams will come true. Sing to me a lullaby in that raspy, grumbly voice of yours and watch over me as I drift into the land of peace.

    Anyway, next week will be better. I'm 100% sure.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2014
  2. somedevil

    somedevil Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Everything will be allright mate and your dreams will come true for sure. Here have a beer... :drinking2
     
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  3. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Thanks love :). Cheers!
     
  4. Chunkz

    Chunkz Junior Member

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    ALL of your dreams will come true! Just remember, you're going to die one day. Remembering that helps put it all in perspective.
     
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  5. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    The funny thing is that I think about that daily - a lot. I'm super conflicted right now and the messages I've lately been getting have agitated me even more.

    What the fuck am I going to do with my life? What the fuck am I doing right now? Imagine staring at a single thing for 5 - 7 hours straight for DAYS only for the hope and chance that it'll give me the results I want (which happens sporadically at best, VERY unpredictable). Is this really a good return on my investment? I have a very limited amount of time, what else am I sacrificing in lieu of this desire - and is it worth it? I try so, so freaking hard but will I actually ever accomplish my hopes and dreams? I am actually good enough - really?

    I think at the end of the day though, I'd rather be poor and successful at my goal than rich and blind. I think my life would be satisfying if I can say at the end that I truly do Know and I did the very best that I could and gave it everything I had.
     
  6. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Got two messages from 2 different - kinfolk. Literally felt like I got slapped in the face twice by these people who were truly quite gifted (probably more than me). Why did they fail whereas others went way above and beyond?:

    That kind of felt bad, because at the end of the day, they are right. Unless you grow beyond a certain shell, which I've only seen happen two times in all of the years that I've searched, then there really is no point. Why did these people fail (one of them quit masturbation for 100 days straight, went raw vegan and after that quit immediately after he "got all he wanted from it"). How the fuck do I make SURE I'll never stop growing and learning like these people? I can't know for sure, I don't think anyone really does - and only one person can find out: me. That vs leading a normal apple pie life in business is kind of what I'm majorly struggling with.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2014
  7. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Those discussions are not allowed on blackhatworld. Please edit your post. I'm genuinely asking how to sustain motivation when so many others around are giving up. HOW do you keep going every day when you not only don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, but you don't even know if there ever was a light. Refrain from mentioning such topics please and stick to the topic (stop derailing).
     
  8. JoeMongan

    JoeMongan Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Start enjoying the small things in life. You have to learn to turn off and watch some TV. :)
    Things will get better for you Pewep! :)
     
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  9. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Thank you for the message mate :)! You're right, I think I need to learn how to appreciate the small things in life. If things are meant to work out, they will.
     
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  10. 2spoons

    2spoons Regular Member Premium Member

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    I feel your pain bro, we've all been there. It took me a long time to really get going in this industry but the last few months have been phenomenal. The reason being is that I realised I was focusing on the wrong thing - I wasn't focused on my biggest strength. So I was grinding out hours and hours of work trying to get good at something I just wasn't cut out for. As soon as I started to focus on what I was best at I was almost immediately successful.

    so my question to you is - are you playing to your strengths?
     
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  11. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Good question man and very well put. Actually, you're right I don't think I am. But my actual strengths - I guess I've subverted them for things I wanted more. I just hate giving up after so much work put into this and switching to something else, but I'll definitely think more about what you're saying. Thank you mate.
     
  12. 2spoons

    2spoons Regular Member Premium Member

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    You're welcome I'm glad I could help.

    you don't need to give up on your dream either, just look at it from a different angle (your strength). If you're still lacking in certain skills you will need to be successful then jv with someone who has those skills. You don't have to do it all on your own.

    I wish you all the best anyway mate.
     
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  13. nad999

    nad999 Junior Member

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    If you are down, you can only rise...

    No matter how hard it is, I'm sure you'll get over it. Cause at some point you will just be tired of whining! :D
     
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  14. wisdomkid

    wisdomkid Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Whining? that was the exact thing that came to my mind, but OP seems like someone who loves typing..... What's really wrong or happened OP? i did not get you.. You're tired of working online or what?
     
  15. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    I'll go with Or what.
     
  16. pxoxrxn

    pxoxrxn Supreme Member

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    Pewep, BHW is not LiveJournal and despite what your spirit guides say, not every thought that comes to your mind is a diamond. Stop using BHW has your personal diary and trying to antagonize people.
     
  17. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    You seriously misconstrue my intentions if you think I'm here to antagonize people. There are very, very smart and experienced people here and I would like guidance from them.