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I fucked up my social life.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by NoName147, May 16, 2012.

  1. NoName147

    NoName147 Newbie

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    Hello. I registered a new account because this is a little bit to private.
    So here is my story:

    I am 18 and go to school. I had my final exams and got my first result, it was bad.
    I know that if you want to become successful: Never blame other people for anything. I don't do that.

    But it is like that: The exam where I got the bad result was an oral exam. Basically the teacher can give you any mark. Anybody whom I told what mark I got couldn't believe it. It's not like it is an extremely bad mark, or the people want to be polite. Still they can't believe it that somebody like me would get such a bad mark. The worst part is you don't even get to know what you did wrong. You only get your mark.

    I am trying very hard to convince myself that the reason why I've got this bad result is my own fault. But deep inside me I know it is not. The thing is that this has always been like that. I get marks which I don't deserve ... I deserve much better.

    Now you probably think that other students have to deal with the same teacher. Yes, that's true but there is a little difference. One thing is that I don't come from a rich family, my parents aren't lawyers, dentists or whatever. The other thing is that I have obviously an immigrant background. However I was born in this country, so there is no problem with the language (I life in a non English speaking country) or anything like that at all. Yet if people see me, they see that I've got an immigrant background.

    So far about that.

    The other thing is that I fucked up my social life. I don't have many friends. The reason is probably that I am a little bit different than the other guys. I don't like going to partys and drinking alcohol. But that's what people at my age do. The other thing is that I somehow more like doing blackhat stuff. But I feel very lonely sometimes. I feel so lonely that I get stomachache or can't sleep or eat.

    And there is this girls issue. Well this is quite weird. Girls do like me. Yes, they really do. I know that there are a lot of girls, let's say, who are interested in me. The girls I am talking about are not the ugly ones... I know, now I do sound like some kind of a smug. But I am not.

    The problem is not that I can't talk to girls, I am a confident person and I can talk to girls.
    The problem is that I always somehow reject girls (I am realising right now, that this sounds like I am gay. No, I am absolutely 100% straight).

    It's like that: When I am talking to a girl there is often a point where I say something really stupid. For example she asks me a question and I respond: "...however I don't care about your life". Then a minute later, I do realize what I've just said and strongly regret it.
    Especially I do regret it when I am sitting alone at home and have nobody to talk to or with whom I can do something like going out or whatever.

    There are also girls (particularly one girl) who are like begging me to ask them out. It's not like that they are saying something like that directly to me. But they do give a lot of signs, like always looking at me, grabbing their hairs, always somehow want to sit near by me, and so on...
    As I said, I am a confident person (it has not always been like that) but I don't have the guts to ask a girl out although I know that she is interested and I really want to.

    Because now more or less I've finished my school, I don't even have to go to the school anymore. I am very, very happy about that. But on the other hand in school I did get connected with people. Now I am feeling fucking empty.. and sometimes I do get very angry. This is the first time of my life where I know what it is like to feel empty. I never had this kind of emotions.

    So, why I am writing this on BHW? It's easy. I don't have anybody to talk to.
    Maybe nobody will read this, but for me it's even enough writing it here.

    Yet maybe somebody can give me an advice...
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2012
  2. Essence19

    Essence19 BANNED BANNED

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    Dude.your being to hard on yourself.everyone goes through their own stuff.have to deal with it as best as you can.if you cant make friends maybe your looking in the wrong place.give yourself a break.no one is perfect.

    Life is gonna throw you a ton of problems. that's just how it is.

    and girls well you have to take some risks and just ask them out.be a little fearless.
     
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  3. crashus

    crashus Junior Member

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    my thoughts after reading the title: "Me too, whats the big deal?"
     
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  4. OldSalt

    OldSalt Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    MAMMOUTH WALL OF TEXT... **OP must edit to make it less painful**

    but skimming what you wrote above:

    1) If you did badly in your first course, get over it. Whether it was an oral exam or something else, don't start jumping on an excuse. It wasn't because you were from an immigrant background - you got what you got, move on and do better on the next course.

    2) Don't have alot of friends - ok... do you go to church, or some social events with the school or something along those lines? No, I'm not talking about drinking parties - you don't have to go to them if you don't want to - but there are other social events. Go to some of them and you'll find people that you get along with.

    3) You are who you are... don't let others make you think that isn't good enough. If the people that are you around don't want to socialize with you, or you with them, then find others to be around. As I said, find social groups that you like and go to their events.

    Good luck and PLEASE break future posts up into paragraphs...

    Thank you ;)
     
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  5. the-dream

    the-dream Regular Member

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    Stay strong, sounds harsh but you'll get over it! I kinda feel the same way but not so much anymore, I'm just not that bothered at all social stuff anymore.

    Make some money!
     
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  6. AGman

    AGman Power Member

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    1.) Facebook/call/text that girl who is interested in you.
    2.) every girl is a retard who says stupid shit. I know what u mean, I used to be the same way, completely turned off by one little stupid thing a girl says or does. But this will not change, you need to.
    3.) if chicks are interested in you man, then man up and go hang out with them.
    4.) Go to partys, even if you dont drink.
    5.) Start drinking
    6.) put half as much effort into your social life as you do black hat shit, and u will be much happier.
    7.) depression kills, go call that girl RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Facebook her right fucking now. I am not playing, do it. NOW.
    8.) you want a friend? then you should go make one. seems like plenty of girls would be interested in chatting and texting you all night long to cure your loneliness . All u need to do, is chat back.
    9.) TAKE ACTION

    my 2 cents............
     
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  7. T3chnician

    T3chnician Regular Member

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    Yea man you need to relax, you act like your the only person on bhw without a social life!? I gave mine up about 6-8 months ago my friends dont even really call me anymore cause they know i'll tell em im working. What you need to do is worry more about where you are in life, are you happy? If not then get back to work and worry about parties and friends later! All through out school all I did was talk shit and smoke weed, now im behind and trying to catch up... Just remember to stay busy man!

    p.s. fuck girls! Or relationships rather they just get in the way! Keep working on improving yourself and your surroudings and it'll all come together
     
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  8. craigygee

    craigygee Regular Member

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    Friends come and go, most of them wont be there in the long run. You gotta do you. About the lady problem, I've seen girls have more attraction to guys who are assholes, being a dickhead randomly can help your situation if you pull it off right.

    If you're trying to meet friends who don't party and all that, try going to a show(concert) sometime. I don't like most straight edge kids because of their attitudes but there are some decent crowds out there.
     
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  9. focks

    focks Newbie

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    I'm 18 also and see a lot of myself in you. It starts with confidence. The rest follows.

    Are you going to college?
     
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  10. MrZOMGImAwesome

    MrZOMGImAwesome Junior Member

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    Bro, I had the same issues with teachers. Specifically one teacher hated me so much, I even got suspended from school one time for saying "I have to take a piss". About the girls, you just have to practice. When you are home, imagine a conversation between you and the girl that likes you. Plan out what you are going to say. And when you do ask her, don't just blurt it out. Say something, "Hey, you look really nice today :)" And laugh a tiny bit while you say it, it makes things a bit less awkward :p. Once she is like " Oh thank you hehe", say something like, "So I notice you around me often and shit, so I might as well ask you out". "So, wanna go out lol" AND THEN if she likes you she will DEFINITELY say YES. Don't worry too much bro, we are all fucked up a little bit.
     
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  11. auuuu

    auuuu Elite Member

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    Hey relax! It's all ok ;)

    You said that you've few girls around you...why you don't speak with them?
    I know how do you feel when you're talking with one of them, I've the same problem...the solution? Think her as friend, it's more easy.

    You need friends? Go out and start meet new people!
    How? C'mon, the world is fuckin big! Have you got some kind of interesses like swimming, playing football, music, computer? Look at meetings and join them. You'll meet a lot of new awesome guys that will be glad to meet you!

    You don't need to drink or smoke stupid things...just be yourself.

    See ya!
     
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  12. crosnake

    crosnake Junior Member

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    Being different is a lot better than being like everyone else and trying to copy someone else. Probably that's why you are attractive to other girls.

    As for the girl do not try and pretend like a pro. Just be yourself that really matters. Because you can fake first couple of times and you will break up in few weeks tops because you will need to reveal yourself ( Sooner or Later).
     
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  13. phr0zt

    phr0zt Regular Member

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    Just start going to social events/gatherings.. Whatever youre interested in, you can find people who like the same thing. With that, you can socialize and wont feel so empty. I personally was way too social and it was screwing up my entire business because I was never home long enough to get my work done, but I've scaled back quite a bit and hardly receive texts/calls from people, except during the weekends... Which is kind of how I like it. You need to focus on improving yourself and skills, and take small steps to get your social life going, and you'll soon have a balance you like and wont feel so empty inside.
     
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  14. OriginalEXE

    OriginalEXE Power Member

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    What is social life?
     
  15. silentthunder

    silentthunder Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Professors and instructors are human and because of this they sometimes have irrational dislike of other people just like we do. Ever not like a person the moment you see them for no good reason. Maybe they remind you of someone who was mean to you so you don't give them a chance. China and Oxford deal with this by making the grading system anonymous. Oral presentations are different.

    As far as picking girls up, they don't teach that in school unfortunately. So just like IM you have to learn on your own. I recommend these: http://www.speedseduction.net/products/RJ56.asp

    Good Luck
     
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  16. focks

    focks Newbie

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    Exactly, I'm going off to college soon and planning joining the entrepreneurship club and anything I can get into that I'm interested in.
     
  17. NoName147

    NoName147 Newbie

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    Guys, I just want to say thank you very much for your answers!
    They do really help a lot.
    ... this is why I like BHW :)
     
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  18. xenter

    xenter Regular Member

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    The best thing to change your mindset is do something drastic on your body. Go to the gym and lift your fucking hardest or just go out and run your ass off until you can't breathe. This will cause your brain chemistry to change and see things differently. Then realize that if you want things to change, then you gotta go out and do it. Nothing is going to happen if you just sit in a room.
     
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  19. psytrance

    psytrance Power Member

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    you need some ganja...thats all you need. btw next time you "feel empty" think twice because there are a lot of people who ARE realy empty. congrats ;)
     
  20. pxoxrxn

    pxoxrxn Supreme Member

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    It sounds like girls are mean to you because you treat them like shit. You know the ol saying "Treat em' mean keep em' keen". It is true, for some girls anyway. But the ones it is true for are the ones with daddy issues and in reality you want a women that will say, "Fuck you, treat me with respect or fuck off".

    Don't be so hard on yourself, I think everybody goes through a time like this just after they finish school. I mean it is a massive part of your life just gone an you have no guide to get back up and find a new thing. Just do what you love doing and you will find yourself back on your feet again soon.

    Good luck buddy and stay black. (I mean black hat, not being racists).

    P.S. Stay away from the drugs. I don't want to sound all preachy and shit but when I was going through this hard time after school I started smoking and I really wish I didn't. I wish I went to uni and got a good job because 5 years later I'm just starting uni and all my classmates are lawyers, teachers, engineers and I work in a fruit shop and run a porn website that makes $0 each and every day.

    P.S.S. Porn websites are fuuuuuuuun!
     
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    Last edited: May 17, 2012