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I am going to tell time wasters "go F yourself"

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by nonai, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. nonai

    nonai Power Member

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    sometimes I get calls from people who think they can rank a site for payday loans for $100

    They waste my time, they ask a lot of questions, and once they find out the price, they disappear.

    I am thinking of getting one of those recordings "for english press 1, for spanish press 2"

    but mine will say "if your seo budget is less than $2000 a month, press 1. if your seo budget is more than $2000 a month, press 2."

    if they press 1, I will say "go fuck yourself. call back when you are serious"
    if they press 2, they will get transferred.

    This should filter out all the bullshit. what do you think?

    BTW this is not a troll post, I am literally going to say "go fuck yourself"
     
  2. fredfred547

    fredfred547 Power Member

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    Although it may be your opinion on it, it looks very unprofessional for clients on the verge of giving you their business, even if they're budget is over $2,000 a month...
     
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  3. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    i'd like to say that to many of my "customers" who do nothing but waste time.
    :D
     
  4. IAmNotLegend

    IAmNotLegend Regular Member

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    A graphical representation will leave a strong impression on them.
    [​IMG]
     
  5. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    When people go to a brick and mortar shop, (for checking some products and if they like it, to buy it ofc), they spend some time there... Most get out of the shop without buying, and that's perfectly normal.

    IMAGINE, the shop owner yelling, "Fck yo m0fo, you wasted our time, scr3w3d w0rme's kiddu"...

    NOW, how'd you feel about it in front of an amuzed crowd, if done to you?

    ~~

    However rich you get in time later, be very decent to all the energy that comes to your sites! It will be easy for your successful site to drop like a stone and sink if you add (such harsh) negativity in any way, imho.


    P.S.:
    If people are asking if your service can be bought for less than xxx amount, tell them to go to a simple link (simple so that they remember what you said on the phone... e.g., sitename/fo) on your site where they will get something positive and related, at least, for their money's worth. You can always give them a package worth their money, or let them know on the page that you don't have any services at that prices... May be that way, you won't leave behind a humiliated person who may go on to become a multi-millionaire in next 6 months or less using some other SEO service which welcomes him/her with a lot better attitude!

    With your strong msg, some smart one can get you to the court and become very rich quickly, depending on how successful and rich you actually are!:)

    HTH
     
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    Last edited: Dec 11, 2014
  6. FBGuru

    FBGuru Senior Member

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    This goes to show you don't value your customers objectives but are only after their big fat money.

    [​IMG]

    If they press 1, kindly forward those calls to me instead.
     
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  7. Visit

    Visit Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    you should be a comedian, I laughed at the press 2 if your spanish part
     
  8. JournoNick

    JournoNick Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    It's all about how you word it. For instance, I got an inquiry the other day for ranking a website for a $200p/m budget. I simply replied back and asked if that budget was is final word and if there was any room to go up. I explained the average rate for such a service. Most of the time they come back with "oh, I didn't realize, I'm coming into this blind" and bla bla bla. Sometimes, you get one dickhead saying "oh, but whats his face said he can rank me for $200" so I simply reply with a "well, fuck off to whats his face and stop tire kicking you asshole".
     
  9. zebrahat

    zebrahat Elite Member

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    How about a press 1 message that says, "I'm sorry, but we are no longer working with accounts in this price range. To obtain professional level SEO assistance at such a below market rate, we recommend you consider entering into a partnership or joint venture arrangement with a service provider interested in your project, who agrees that your site's earning projections and traffic goals are realistic and achievable. Thanks for calling."

    This professional response clearly and gently communicates you are not working with low-ballers, yet constructively suggests how to make their case with a party that might be willing to work with them. Whatever they choose, the burden remains on them to properly compensate the SEO provider (either paying what the work is worth, or proving the site is good enough to satisfy a partner). No need to insult somebody who might come back to you later, after they can't find a good provider for their original rate.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2014
  10. tenclouds

    tenclouds Junior Member

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    It is really unprofessional, it would just make you lose money instead of that you can say this price is not enough sorry. :)
     
  11. VinceC

    VinceC Elite Member

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    I had an experience when one of my clients asking a lot of questions and was shocked when I told him the pricing for the project(not seo). But after I explained to him why I charged a bit higher than others, he placed the order without second question. And till today he continues using my service even he knew there are some other lower cost sellers out there. This was what he told me when I asked him what the reason for coming back to me once we become close friends instead of buyer/seller. He said "I rather spend a bit more on a trusting and professional service provider than wasting my times hunting for one"

    So with that, do not fuck your potential clients. It our duty to inform them, educate them IF they want to listen and heed the advice. If still they chose not to deal with you, your time is not wasted, as this add to the conversion rate, the more people you interact with, the more chances of closing a deal. Period.
     
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  12. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator in Training Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    You know, a few of my clients actually decided to work with me because they can see that I'm not just working for money and I respect them as a human being. Even if their budget is lower than what I normally charge, I will still find a way to compromise with them. If I sent any of my leads or current clients a vulgar message such as the one that you are suggesting, I'm certain that I wouldn't be receiving any business at all.

    I know some of these leads can be frustrating, but like VinceC mentioned:

     
  13. MafiaBoss

    MafiaBoss Elite Member

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    value your customer because no matter what yo do customer is always right.

    what you need is ninja skills to shift their mind to spend more budget on their projects.

    you need to convince them in good way.

    if you behave with your customer/prospects well they will also treat you well.

    and then there is also a thing called "Word of Mouth Publicity", imagine some of the prospects don't even contact you if/when they hear from someone that "you recorded" something like that on your res-ponder.

    that's call losing a business by UN-professionalism.

    what your best bet well be to arrange some packages for customer's with small budget, cheers
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2014
  14. Jared255

    Jared255 Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Sounds like a great idea - best of luck!

    Jared
     
  15. davids355

    davids355 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Just get one of those premium rate phone numbers that costs like £10/minute. That should help to weed out most of your useless prospective customers.
     
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  16. ArkmayL7

    ArkmayL7 Junior Member

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    customers will say g f urself too
     
  17. Trepanated

    Trepanated Supreme Member

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    If it were me, I'd come up with an SEO service in the sub $2000 per month price range so I could increase my client base.

    But I'm dumb like that - always thinking of ways to grow my businesses, instead of fucking my potential customers off.
     
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