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How would you describe your job to a court?

Discussion in 'Black Hat SEO' started by dora3mon, Oct 7, 2014.

  1. dora3mon

    dora3mon Registered Member

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    I'm due to appear in court tomorrow as a witness to testify in someone else's case. (don't worry, i'm not getting sued, i'm just the alibi)

    1.The court registrar will ask me standard questions like "What is your name, address & occupation". All i need to do is give short answers.

    2. The other side's lawyers will cross-examine me and ask me to describe my "job" in much more detail (to attack my credibility).

    What would you say? bearing in mind that a judge will be listening :p

    P.S. I just started doing IM full time but I'm just a newbie and am not making any $ yet. I would like to avoid saying I am unemployed as that will affect my credibility.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2014
  2. Ivaylo

    Ivaylo Junior Member

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    If you are not making any money and are not paying taxes, then you are unemployed.
     
  3. royserpa

    royserpa Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    LOL so you are a full time IMer and not earning anything. xD

    Sick bro, just say you are unemployed.
     
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  4. dora3mon

    dora3mon Registered Member

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    That's true but I recently registered an LLC in my name (for IM purposes, but I've not started doing anything with it yet) and would like to avoid saying that I'm unemployed (to boost my credibility).

    I would like to describe that I am starting out in IM, but in a way that looks good.
     
  5. tony_d

    tony_d Elite Member

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    Why is this even a thread? Just say you're an internet marketer.
     
  6. Ivaylo

    Ivaylo Junior Member

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    "I'm trying to be an internet marketer." Can come off as humility from someone, who knows what he's doing. At the same time, it can easily be interpreted as you saying that you don't earn any money. If you can say it in a way, that lets everyone hear what they want to hear - there you have it.
     
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  7. Duffers5000

    Duffers5000 Elite Member

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    If you have an LLC then it would be standard to describe yourself as a company director.

    If pressed further then describe the purpose of your company. ie, we design websites, we promote companies in digital marketing, we provide social media management for local companies.

    As you are not on trial it should be irrelevent to the court if you are hugely succesful or just starting out and breaking even.

    Any attempt to make untrue claims as to what you do will be torn apart and destroy your credibility so be honest and keep it short.
     
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  8. spmcnerd

    spmcnerd Regular Member

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    Interweb Savant
    Mine data from socials
    Web host
    Build websites
    Strategic targeted marketing
    Amazon affiliate ;)
    Look squirrel!
     
  9. Conor

    Conor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Just show them this thread. I'm sure the judge was also a newbie once. He will understand.

    /s
     
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  10. drei29

    drei29 Junior Member

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    Just say your a "Professional Bum". Sounds cool right? And you need to say it with conviction to sound really legit.

    Case close.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2014
  11. xjapan

    xjapan Power Member

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    you can say like "i just started develops online ecommerce website", in case the judge asking any details, you may just repeating the words you just said, "as i just started, i can't really tell you the result at this moment".
     
  12. ahiddenman

    ahiddenman Elite Member

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    You are trying to put monkies into your papal.

    Industry standard answer, although a few weird looks may be achieved with this method.
     
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  13. Kralj187

    Kralj187 Senior Member

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    Just say that you work for the Yakusa and you will be fine
     
  14. LostConnection

    LostConnection Senior Member

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    You are a starting out entrepreneur in the field of internet marketing. There. I wouldn't start questioning that in the cross examination, because of the word 'entrepreneur', which is regarded as a real hardworking job these days, thus better left alone. I could ask if you have a registered company, to which you just say yes, as you told us here you have one. It doesn't matter whether or not the company is making millions, what matters is that you're working hard to provide for yourself (and possibly family) the standard of life that you need.

    If you say I do internet marketing, some lawyers (if knowledgeable of the trade even in the slightest) might know to pick up the fact that you eat, sleep and work in your parents basement, showering once a week and still not earning a dime. But don't worry about that, just go with the entrepreneur.
     
  15. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    Me: I ask silly and useless questions all the time.
     
  16. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I think saying you work in marketing and earn no money will give you less credibility than saying you are unemployed.
     
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  17. BassTrackerBoats

    BassTrackerBoats Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    There will be almost no chance that you are going to be asked about your occupation past the initial question. No attorney is going to delve into that past a few very generic cursory questions, if at all.

    Simply, "I own a marketing company."
     
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  18. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Premium Member

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    OP don't try to over elaborate, as they will tear you apart easily.
    As Duffers suggested, your job title is Company Director, keep it simple but answer honestly.
     
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  19. rob1977

    rob1977 Power Member

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    I think you worry too much, you won't be pressed on this unless it is relevant to the case.

    Don't watch ally mcbeal, rumpole of the bailey, la law, and think your going into a congressional hearing. Courts are busy places you will be in and out of the stand before you know it, and you will be left wondering why you had to waste all day hanging around doing nothing, for what will be a five minute wam bam and 100 hours community service.
     
  20. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Tell them you have retired.