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How to pick up chicks for one night stand with Google - No SEO skills required!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Bot Solutions, Oct 4, 2014.

  1. Bot Solutions

    Bot Solutions Regular Member

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    Hey blackhatters,

    I just wanted to share Matt Kuhn's idea (known as Barney Stinson) of how to get laid using simple SEO. I found this idea brilliant since it could be implemented by anyone and there is very little chance to fail. Even if you are ugly. :D Sorry if i made any grammatical mistakes, i'm not native speaker.

    1. Finding your keyword.
    Okay so the first thing you have to do is to work out a random name that sounds legit. The main point is to lengthen your keyword as much as it is possible (firstname + middle/alias + last name) and make sure there is no exact match when search in google. It should take you 2 min.

    2. Building your network
    This step is kinda building a PBN... just not against your competition :D
    You have to shoot up AT LEAST 10 news themed pages (wordpress, blogger whatever) with fake articles including your keyword. 10 needed because you have to cover the first page in google. I would say use at least 3 domain names just to keep everything legit.

    Content:
    It's all about developing articles promoting your fake name. Make sure you put pictures of yourself in the content to rise your conversion rates :D. Hire somebody to edit your photos relevant to the articles. You know... keep everything legit and organic.

    Example titles:
    "World's 16th richest man, Fake Alias Name broke a new world record in..."
    "Penis lessen surgery could not be performed on Fake Alias Name" okay that's a joke, but i hope you got the idea... :D

    Sidebar:
    Fake titles pointing to 404 page, guess why...

    3. Facebook, twitter:
    You know what you have to do... just create the profiles and buy followers for both account. Aff link: jk

    4. Targeting your audience:
    Once your articles are indexed just walk down the street in the evening and go into the first pub you see.
    There should be girls otherwise you are at a wrong place.. the next step is to pick a hot one with a smartphone. The important thing is the smartphone! ugly with a smartphone > hot one. It is even better if she is on fb or twitter.

    Just sit next to her, buy a drink yourself and wait patiently. After few mins tell her "Yea, it's me..." *duh*
    Probably she has never seen you so her answer should be "Who?".
    -"ugh... i'm Fake Alias Name... what is this place?" then you should simply just leave quickly and wait outside.
    Give her few mins to google/facebook the name and little time later go back and tell her something kind like "Well that's place maybe is not as bad if there is a beautiful girl like you. May i buy you a drink?"
    Hope she is a gold-digger and you are on the way to put... monkeys into her paypal :D

    Change the audience regularly so your conversion rates won't be ruined by negative feedbacks. Also don't forget to use google analytics in case you drank too much and lost track of your conversion rates :D jk
     
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  2. M4XW3LL

    M4XW3LL Senior Member

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    Dafuq did I just read!
     
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  3. I-marketer

    I-marketer Regular Member

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    Too much work for one night stand.
     
  4. oscilay

    oscilay Regular Member

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    Or just pay a few bucks for a hooker...
     
  5. youtalkmedia

    youtalkmedia Senior Member

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    LMFAO...

    Best guide on BHW... By Far..
     
  6. COLDEXE

    COLDEXE Junior Member

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    Jesus christ, I guarantee you haven't tried this pretty pathetic theory.
     
  7. blackerthanblack

    blackerthanblack Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Relax, I'm pretty sure it's mostly a joke. I have not doubt it could be pulled off with a bit of dedication though
     
  8. SquirlyNutz

    SquirlyNutz Power Member

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    If the hot girl believes that your rich and wants to go home with you, won't she get suspicious when she see's that you drive a 1994 Honda, instead of a Ferrari? LOL
     
  9. sagarbest

    sagarbest Senior Member

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    nt kidding this could work :))))
     
  10. sbndnb

    sbndnb Regular Member

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    Gotta love the lounge :D
     
  11. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I think I would rather just pull a half five bird.
     
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  12. Nut-Nights

    Nut-Nights Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    what ? ok i understand, what ?
     
  13. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Premium Member

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    I really don't understand why so many guys have so much trouble getting women.
    Resorting to cheap ass tricks requires too much effort.
     
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  14. royserpa

    royserpa Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Ohh thats how ceosam found jennifer!
     
  15. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Why put so much effort into cheap tricks when you can put little effort into settling
    for a cheap bird.
     
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  16. badaz

    badaz Regular Member

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    That's what I call a Brillaint METHOD please move it to VIP SECTION before it gets Saturated or LEAKED :D
     
  17. Bot Solutions

    Bot Solutions Regular Member

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    The main point is that you have to set up just once loll

    That's why you call a taxi.
    Don't drink and drive :'(
     
  18. spasovski

    spasovski Regular Member

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    Why bother so much... just have your own "manager" "ceo" business cards and wear a suit anywhere you go. It's a $300 investment that will pay off in any situation. Just hand those cards away and tell them to call you. You will do business and lots of chicks will give you a call. (don't text, that's childish, remember, you are a businessman)
    If you can't afford it go into cheap clothing stores, pick one of the expensive suits and switch the sticker price with one that's super cheap on sale. Remember we all started someway... I got my first one for $59 ;) Don't forget to google on how to find a perfect tailored suit.
     
  19. SeoElf

    SeoElf BANNED BANNED

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    Sounds like you mix business with pleasure.
     
  20. LeanLow

    LeanLow Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Asking - "Excuse me lady, does that napkin smells like a chloroform to you?" would be easier...