How To Grow The Willingness To Offend?

hasan7707

hasan7707

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How do you go about increasing your courage in terms of offending others in a firsthand interaction?

I often back out because I feel I'm being insensible to people and back out, even when I'm totally certain I should offend.

I'd say I'm losing my backbone.

Any practical ideas?
 
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Offend because you have a personal issue or offend because they ave come at you in a way that is untoward?
 
Say it as it is @hasan7707 otherwise people will walk all over you.

I'm from Yorkshire and we call things as we find them, no point in beating about the bush.

I have a sarcastic, dry sense of humour but trust me you're better off not taking crap from people.

I've found in the past a punch in the mouth, often stops offending idiots making the same mistake twice.

I'll add here, I'm 6ft 3" and built like a brick outhouse.
 
You need to 'Baby step'

So you start small little things that you're able to do and you slowly build that into bigger things as you gain more confidence in handling yourself in that situation.

Its a process not an overnight change, the more little small chunks towards it you do the greater your threshold will become.
You will find that you don't get any crazy reactions as you develop your ability to get away with more stuff.

A lot of the time what we think is a big deal isn't a big deal.

Start identifying a few situations where you are losing your backbone that are likely to happen in some context again and when you have some time to yourself after that interaction go back over it yourself and rethink how you would do react next time, that way you can improve on how you handle it next time.

Also note that as you first try things out you may be scolded and have bad reactions at first, this is because you are still learning to do it congruently. People will try to keep you in your box where you have been hiding at first, so expect the start to be a bit rocky until you're able to be more in tune with it.

Plus by the sounds of it, it seems it's not really about offending others, rather standing up for yourself and having some balls, you do have balls right? ;)

As with anything changing something can take awhile to get correct.
 
MisterF said:
Say it as it is [

I'll add here, I'm 6ft 3" and built like a brick outhouse.
Click to expand...

And if you knew his life history it would not matter if he was 6' 3" or 2' 3" you would dial it back with him.

He is a certifiable badass.
 
MisterF said:
Say it as it is @hasan7707 otherwise people will walk all over you.

I'm from Yorkshire and we call things as we find them, no point in beating about the bush.

I have a sarcastic, dry sense of humour but trust me you're better off not taking crap from people.

I've found in the past a punch in the mouth, often stops offending idiots making the same mistake twice.

I'll add here, I'm 6ft 3" and built like a brick outhouse.
Click to expand...

EfoLaer
 
I've been there...
Long story short, this video is awesome, I really like the Instant Charisma channel.
 
I'd say just learn not to care. It is impossible to get a long with everyone as everyones brain is wired differently and people have their own issues, opinion and insecurities that you should not even waste your time thinking of "Why they said that".
I like to live it peace so I am careful of who I hand around and what goes into my ears.
I've been in a situation before where seemed like someone was taking a "cheap shot" with words, I could have had an angry reaction but instead i thought "Just like him say that, he does not have any clue what he's talking about". Ever since then I distanced myself/closed the rapport.
 
Well, if someone is verbally attacking you by saying bad things, and you don't know what to say back, then just put a smile on your face (don't show your teeth), don't say a word - just smile - you will see the attacker will get angry like mad :devil: then either he will attack you physically or just will go away
 
Become friends with rude people that don't give a shit.
Their attitude will rub off on you.
 
hasan7707 said:
Any practical ideas?
Click to expand...

Just remember that you're responsible for setting other people's expectations. If you don't tell someone there is a problem, they might have no idea (even if you think they should know). If you downplay how upset you are, it's not going to seem like a priority either. So be honest with your reactions. Then, if it happens again, you'll know for sure they were well-enough informed to let them go or ask for a refund or whatever without feeling guilty.
 

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some replies here are pretty cringe not gonna lie
 
If you are good at IM, offending should come naturally to you
 
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