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How to get well paid in your job

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by MakavelliD, Jul 19, 2015.

  1. MakavelliD

    MakavelliD Regular Member

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    After years of studying and analysis I have prepared what I call the workplace algorithm.
    Of course this varies depending on a few things and is only based on my personal experiences.

    I have analysed several employees to gather this information

    In pyramid form from top to bottom:

    #1: Suck the boss's dick - DOUBLE pay rise
    #2: Regularly drink with the boss - 90% pay rise
    #3: Let the boss do your wife - 75% pay rise
    #4: Have relations with boss's family member - 50% pay rise, immediate management position, no experience required
    #5: Agree with everything boss says and smile - 40% pay rise
    #6: Let the boss blame you for everything - 20% pay rise
    #7: Tell tales to your boss about your colleagues, make up stories - 10% pay rise
    #8: Run up a sweat when the boss is looking - No rise but at least keep the job
    #9: Increase your productivity - Slave pay rate, holiday bonus
    #10: Work all night/all day - Nobody notice, causes sleep pattern issues, workplace key will be taken for suspected theft.
    #11: Begin the day 3 hours early everyday - Nobody notice. Some think you don't look busy enough at midday since you started very early
    #12: Make the company more money: Allows the company to hire more people and grow more and more. Slave pay.
    #13: Work like you have nothing else to live for - Your boss will get richer, slave pay and get a few extra days holiday.
    #14: Stay and work hard for several years - Your boss will think you are mentally disabled for living with above conditions for so long and there is no hope of more pay.

    This is my honest personal experience, don't mean to offend anyone

    Unfortunately now I get the meaning of what Pablo said
    ?There are two hundred million idiots, manipulated by a million intelligent men.?
     
  2. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Fuck that be the boss.
     
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  3. archon10

    archon10 BANNED BANNED

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    lol bro you're singing my song. Corporate is fucked up. Best way to make money is just make spreadsheets that always show that you're productive. Then you can read reddit all day.
     
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