Hey guys, so I've been sober for my longest streak and I intend to keep going. I'm generally a pretty happy person and to be honest I really do like my life and I know how easy it has been, especially during hot spots. Also, I am extremely thankful and I try to be a good person and do the right thing. However, something recently has struck me that I just became aware of (or just developed). I'm sorry if this comes across as really bad (I'm a good person I swear): I honestly just don't give a fuck about anyone. I listen to people, I genuinely try to understand what they are going through and I feel like I can relate with them definitely and perhaps give them some insight into the underlying issues they are facing. But I rapidly get very bored after a while and I just don't care. Like, the feeling isn't there, it's just empty. I try to feel something but I just.can't. When I'm drinking, I feel much more compassionate and connected with people. And loving. This is probably just my brain re-adjusting, but honestly, I don't really know how else to put it. The truth is, I simply don't get any enjoyment from interacting with people. Like the dopamine feel isn't there. It's like doing laundry or taking out the trash or something as basic like that. No excitement, no joy, nothing. And I don't feel bad about it. I haven't made a single effort to connect with anyone male or female on a human level (in real life, I've met some great people online with similar interests) for a very long time. And I'm okay with that. It just doesn't bother me - at.all. Beyond the basic physical attraction to a woman, there's almost nothing else. The main problem is I feel like I'm too egocentric, I basically just think about me 24 hours a day and how I feel as well as what my goals and ambitions are. Why am I always just thinking about myself when I need to think about others? I need to be more open to others and allow them into my personal space. I know that I guess I'm missing out on part of what it's like to be a human being but does that really matter if I genuinely feel happy with myself? I think mostly, I have some mental scars from the years that I should address. I think that's basically the underlying cause of this and I think in time I can learn to enjoy human companionship. And mostly just completely recover from alcoholism and let my brain heal from that. Anyway, just putting down my thoughts.