1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How To Be More Confident (meeting clients etc)

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by itsromanorc, Oct 10, 2015.

  1. itsromanorc

    itsromanorc Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2013
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    57
    I'll be a first time business owner and I'm sure I'm going to meet people who are going to want to meet rather than always prefer the email or phone call option.

    I'm quiet young in my 20's, so i want to be taken more seriously and have a good amount of confidence. I also have like an anxiety problem which is a b***

    What would you suggest to somehow appear more confident?
     
  2. SeoWrecker

    SeoWrecker Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2012
    Messages:
    2,011
    Likes Received:
    1,712
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Doesn't matter
    Fake it till you make it.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  3. Ste Fishkin

    Ste Fishkin BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    May 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2,058
    Likes Received:
    8,214
    Man the fuck up and do it.

    It gets easier and easier. Get out your comfort zone and go meet them, they are just normal people like you.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  4. JasonGraham

    JasonGraham Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2015
    Messages:
    322
    Likes Received:
    89
    Running or any other physical activity
    Doing stuff even if you are nervous about it
    Also check nutrition and herbal medicine, magnesium deficiency for example can cause anxiety, depression, fatigue etc... (nigari is a great source of magnesium and way much cheaper than pills)
    Depending on what business you are in dress for it, if you want to be taken seriously by your clients
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2015
  5. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,642
    Likes Received:
    11,355
    Occupation:
    Pusillanimous Knitter
    Location:
    Buenos Aires
    Dress really well. Like really really well. That will raise your confidence and will also make a different first impression than if you strolled in like every other person that day.

    Avoid cheap suits - it shows. If you can't afford it, go the "smart casual but 2 notches up & different" way. Again, if you can't afford it, use fake ornaments. Few people can tell apart a $15k watch and its AA $400 replica. Same thing for pens. A good replica of a high priced pen is good enough for your purpose. Make sure to be consistent - can't wear average clothing along with a supposedly $15k watch. A friend of mine who owns a construction company once turned a hostile hotel manager into a supportive ally by gifting him a replica pen that supposedly cost $3k - $100 made him $30k in savings because the manager wasn't aggressive in inspections any more - that's just in case you think your clients will be too sophisticated for this.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 5
  6. bcoz4u

    bcoz4u Junior Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2015
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    13
    Home Page:
    AGE is just a number like 1 2 3....etc...but just think YOU CAN THEN YOU CAN....read some selfconfident books like and read the books "Secret"
     
  7. rastael

    rastael Newbie

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2015
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    0
    Do visualization, think of yourself like a big boss, listen to some rick ross hehehe.. Anyways for real get your testosterone , go work out..
     
  8. myopic1

    myopic1 Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    404
    I can't emphasise this enough but...do your homework.

    I was in a meeting 4 days ago where I had a multimillionaire business owner hanging on my every word, how? Because I presented myself as an expert. Not in the 'I'm an SEO guru, ranking ninja' and all that bollocks sort of way but in the 'this is how SEO works, this is how rankings work, this is what it will do for your business based on these search numbers, these are the terms people are looking for things in your industry for and finding your competitors rather than you, based on your average sale this is what ranking is worth to you, this is what your competitors do, this is how we can beat them' sort of way.

    You're in that meeting because you have knowledge and a skill set that they do not, they know that, so act that way and genuinely be that way and they'll love you for it. The idea behind a face to face meeting is that people want to know that their spending 'good' money that will ultimately produce a return, by doing your homework and coming across as knowledgeable and competent...it's hard to fail. You are going there to genuinely help these people and establish a lasting relationship that will benefit both of you, confidence comes from knowing what you're talking about.

    Great advice from Jazzc about appearance too.

    Oh and just go in there and talk, only get down to business when you really need to. Talk about their business, your family, find common ground basically anything that makes you a human being and not a salesman, people say yes to people they know and like.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 5
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2015
  9. itsromanorc

    itsromanorc Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2013
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    57
    Great advice Jazzc and myopic1 :)

    Lol I definitely will keep that in mind, it will be an seo business. I am clued up in it so I can handle the questions, I guess it's just the first time actually meeting another business person and trying to win them over to close the deal. I will ofcourse be prepared

    Thanks!
     
  10. wowhaxor

    wowhaxor Elite Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,020
    Likes Received:
    3,361
    Location:
    ?¿?
    Home Page:
    Sounds like your anxiety issue is probably where you confidence issue comes from. Just DO things that you are anxious about, getting out of your comfort zone over and over and finding its not so bad will reduce your overall anxiety.
     
  11. itsromanorc

    itsromanorc Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2013
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    57
    @wow yes my anxiety problem is one of the reasons, when simple tasks need to be done or uni exams then I start to get this anxiety attack like without even thinking about it, body somehow just knows :? . I'm hoping I somehow overcome it.
     
  12. wowhaxor

    wowhaxor Elite Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,020
    Likes Received:
    3,361
    Location:
    ?¿?
    Home Page:
    I just told you how. When I was a kid all the way up to maybe 14-16 I had horrible anxiety. Just getting out of your comfort zone and doing stuff you're anxious about over and over every single day and you see its not so bad and it fades. These days I can get arrested and go to jail in a county/state where I don't know anybody and sleep like a baby and not worry about anything. I'm confident all aspects of life now but I credit it to pushing myself to do stuff that I'd get anxious about as soon as I possibly could instead of sitting there thinking and making it worse. In time it really does help.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  13. Fuggz

    Fuggz Power Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2010
    Messages:
    582
    Likes Received:
    603
    I actually prefer to meet clients in person!

    Myopic hit the nail on the head. It has to do with confidence and knowledge. If you have enough knowledge, confidence does not matter nearly as much. You aren't going to just stroll into a meeting acting like you are the shit and expect to land a deal. I think confidence only trumps knowledge if you are trying to sell a dream or a load of bullshit. IM really is just a form of marketing and there are ways to calculate and forecast concise expectations (to an extent). See my post HERE

    Most people have no clue about marketing online. The majority of my clients lately have also been millionaires and I have had no problem telling them that they have no idea what the f--- they are doing or that they are completely wrong about how they are doing things and that they have their head up their ass... not in those exact words. Actually a lot of successful large business owners rarely get told this so almost every time I have done this I have been thanked for being so straightforward and honest. Last week I met with a client for a smaller web development project and left the meeting in control of the marketing department for his other large business. Why? because of the knowledge I possessed and how I was able to convey what I can do to help businesses. You are meeting with a client likely because they have a problem and looking for a solution.

    You must look good and have some confidence obviously, but if you have the knowledge and expertise landing deals will eventually come natural to you. Even if you are the Stephen Hawking of IM you will probably not close a deal if you come into a meeting in jeans and a WOW t-shirt stained with remnants of last nights "date" with PornHub.

    If you are just starting out buy one nice outfit that you can wear to all your first meetings with clients. I would suggest a decent pair of loafers and a belt that matches the loafers. If you have a TJ MAXX, Ross or something similar you can find really good deals on slacks. I remember I had bought a pair of Perry Ellis years ago for ~$20 that I still wear today. Make sure your clothes fit. Even if you have a nice suit you can end up looking like a goofball if it does not fit properly, and let me tell you that most men do not wear properly fitted suites. Watch this: https://youtu.be/EKqacIYn30U?t=53s

    If it is super casual I opt for a v-neck shirt with a proper fitting blazer (I prefer crushed velvet raised/peak lapel). Depending on weather a nice v-neck sweater with a "dress shirt" and properly colored tie or bow tie.

    You will eventually get better at meetings, just do not worry or stress yourself out. Let us know how you do!
     
  14. laurentiukendo

    laurentiukendo Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2012
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Making money
    Location:
    Romania
    I love what you all guys posted here.I'm also 21 and I needed this kind of advices.
    Confidence comes with time and experience.I had lots of panic attacks due to severe anexiety in highschool but I overcome them by going a lot in nature.I started to meditate and ride my bike a lot, done some martial arts classes (kendo) and with time , I got much more confident.
    Life is just 10% of what happens to you, 90% is the way you see it.So learn to understand your toughts and ask yourself: Why are you afraid?Is that fear real?Does it really matter?What about tomorrow?

    Also check this video.It helped me a lot:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA4HwFHiYyA

    Trust me ,read his books also.It will change your life :D
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2015
  15. AckAck

    AckAck Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    64
    Work on the grill and hair.That's how it works in LA and OC, so I'm sure it will apply anywhere else. Even if you show up in a cheap ass suit from Men's warehouse. I've made deals with attorneys who were wearing 2k suits and I'm wearing a suit that cost $199. Even if you're niche is a creative artsy type. the hipster look will only get u laughed at. I know it's common sense but I see this quite a bit with guys with tremendous skills but never had to do face to face when freelancing.

    Some bad advice but a xanax will help as well :)
     
  16. johnnyrover

    johnnyrover Newbie

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2014
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Dress well, not trendy. Listen to your customers, respond to their needs, do not use acronyms.

    Remember, you are young and they assume you know more about the internet than they do.
     
  17. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2013
    Messages:
    7,643
    Likes Received:
    13,795
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Death
    Location:
    Riverside, California
    Home Page:
    [​IMG]
     
  18. laurentiukendo

    laurentiukendo Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2012
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Making money
    Location:
    Romania
    Do your homework well about your client. Show that and set your terms for the project from the beginning : describe the work that you are going to do and specify the price for each action. In this way you will keep a professional look and not give the client room to pay you less
    Before doing something that I am anxious about I try to organzie my day in a good way, i.e. meditate before the meeting, drink my tea so on.That keeps me relaxed and clear about what I have to do. The more work you put in, the more you get out of it. Keep your chill. Everything is a learning opportunity, do your best! :)
     
  19. towelfox

    towelfox Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2012
    Messages:
    175
    Likes Received:
    61
    Know what you want to say. Know why you want to say it. Know why what you want to say is important. Dress well, relax, smile, shake hands, be prepared for small talk and don't let it put you off.

    Be present and listen to everything. Think ahead. Know when to park and know when to return.

    You won't do all of that the first time. Or the second but persevere and your confidence and ability will grow
     
  20. ghackseo

    ghackseo Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2015
    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    72
    I had the same anxiety issues, OP. It's "curable" though.

    I can't remember where I learned / read this, but it really helped me overcome the fear to talk to strangers.

    The solution? Practice. Yep, you're not just magically going to get over your anxiety and weak confidence by dressing well and knowing how to do your job...

    I was in college when I decided to tackle the situation, my entire high school phase was quite shit, I had friends and went to parties but I could never talk to girls that I didn't know or even sometimes talking to guys I didn't know was too stressful, so I just kept my mouth shut and drank till I was confident enough to talk to people.

    So, I got to college and I read this amazing advice, practice. Parties are the perfect place to do this. I forced myself into a situation that would usually make me terrified beyond belief. I went to parties without having a drop of alcohol and I would hang with my friends, then I'd tell myself, in 10 seconds I'm going to leave my friends and go talk to the first stranger I see. I counted down and I did it.

    The thing is, you know you're going to say something stupid and that's what scares most people with anxiety, but by saying something stupid on purpose helps. Try to say the most stupid thing you can think of and I can assure you it won't be as scary as trying to not say something stupid. It's as if you completed your mission and it was a success. Just try it and I can promise you you'll get better at talking to strangers and feel a lot more comfortable.