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How the fuck do I get out of Jury duty?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by KT1990, Jun 27, 2014.

  1. KT1990

    KT1990 BANNED BANNED

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    Anyone ever get out? Should I just not respond to the letter and claim I never got it?
     
  2. YouTubez

    YouTubez Regular Member

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    Fake a heart attack then actually have one.
     
  3. Apricot

    Apricot Administrator Staff Member Moderator

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    Probably be a felony and would cause so much more fuss if you don't go now. More than likely just postponing the inevitable when it comes to the government.
     
  4. BassTrackerBoats

    BassTrackerBoats Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    That will end badly.

    Call and tell them that you are self employed and that you will have to close your entire business for the day if you do jury duty as there is nobody to run your business.
     
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  5. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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  6. LukesDad

    LukesDad Junior Member

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    Mentaly unstable persons don't have to do jury duty, I think :) People in our buisniess should fall under that category :)
    But why don't you want to go? Wouldn't it be fun to serve justice?
     
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  7. elschlongo

    elschlongo Junior Member

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    I would just say that you are racist against everyone and you sometimes hear voices that tell you to burn things.

    works like a charm for me
     
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  8. KT1990

    KT1990 BANNED BANNED

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    Living in Cali but my address is in Michigan, back and fourth between the two but coincidentally I'm back in Michigan for the 4th of July. The Jry duty is in Detroit lol. Never been there and don't want to go. Maybe if I say something racist like he's from Detroit and he's black, obviously he's guilty lol.
     
  9. asap1

    asap1 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Its ok to miss one but you better make sure you go to the next one.

    If all else fails you can just go and answer every question wrong and they wont call you back to be on jury.

    Good Luck OP
     
  10. Trepanated

    Trepanated Supreme Member

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    Or say a friend of your was mugged there a few years ago and it'll be great to avenge her by sending someone down
     
  11. Kaistar

    Kaistar Power Member

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    Go for the first day and fall asleep in court, when they wake you tell them you are sorry but you are alcoholic and had a heavy night. They'll probably discharge you.
    At least you turned up...
     
  12. wizard04

    wizard04 Elite Member

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    I think he want's to get out of jury duty not to get in a mental hospital, but hey what do I know lol
     
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  13. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    Have a relative that is a cop?
     
  14. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    I method that I hear works well is that people go to the judge and say they support nullification. What that means is they support that the jury has the power to rule that a law for the specific case is invalid. For example, in a marijuana possession case, the jury may rule that the anti-drug law should not be applied. This is a gray area in general (for a pro example, in New Hampshire it is perfectly accepted) and judges naturally ... hate it. So, if you 're a bit lucky, the judge will throw you out of jury :)
     
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  15. Mark Developer

    Mark Developer Newbie

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    Just say you are an anarchist - works in most cases with things like that.
     
  16. BenWalters

    BenWalters Junior Member

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    The racist card works well
     
  17. bill8150

    bill8150 Newbie

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    1 - check the notice you got. it typically lists some approved reasons to be excused. if there is no list or excuses provided, look for a website link.

    2 - ask for an extension. there is usually a number to call and automated system. I asked for an extension multiple times on one notice and they stopped mailing me. [longshot]

    3 - if you have to appear, try to report on a thursday or friday (use an extension if necessary). most juries get picked earlier in the week. if you are lucky, you have a one day and done like we do in socal. Show up on a thursday and don't get picked... you are done with your service.

    4 - if you are in school or taking classes, you can probably get excused. will need to show proof.

    5 - if you get on a panel, most of the old school, crazy stuff doesn't work well any more. they've seen too much of it. while I still think wearing one of those "kill them all, let god sort them out" tshirts couldn't hurt, there are two methods I've seen work well:

    - if its a criminal matter and you have close relative in law enforcement. disclose this and talk very favorably about this close relative. even half-asleep criminal defense attys will wake up and politely thank you for your service.

    - spout off as much tea party nonsense as you can when asked any question. be serious and talk passionately about your anti-government / conspiracy beliefs.

    good luck!
     
  18. SEO_Alchemy

    SEO_Alchemy Senior Member

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    Last time I was called, the judge asked if anyone in the room present was self-employed. All the people that raised their hands were instantly told "thanks for your time and coming in, you are free to go" that was Connecticut, might be different state to state, but I would imagine the same scenario will apply.
     
  19. judif414

    judif414 Regular Member

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    All you have to do is tell them that you know the persons involved with the case and they will let you go.
     
  20. janewhitman

    janewhitman Newbie

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    During roll call scream fuck Jews..Heil hitler... Problem solved..