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How NOT to give a of F*ck what others think?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by IMOHolic, Feb 18, 2013.

  1. IMOHolic

    IMOHolic Newbie

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    I normally get affected when others say something to me and I get toooo conscious also sometimes, but even if I try harder NOT to give a F*** about them, I still end of giving a f**k at the end of the day. Its literally spoiling my life and I end up not being myself sometimes infront of people... Please advise :(
     
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  2. Orbit143

    Orbit143 Senior Member

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    It's simple, just don't :)
     
  3. Leo00

    Leo00 Regular Member

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    I always remember a quote from Fight Club: "It is only when we have lost everything, we are free to do anything."

    As I see it: When you give up any positive validation from people (i.e. compliments, appraisals, promotions or respect) and stop caring about those, you are suddenly immune towards any negative feedback from people. This works nice for me. I am not aggressive towards people, I am simply indifferent what they think (they don´t like what I do? cool I respect that they have this opinion, but I don´t let it affect my own opinions).
     
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  4. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Your problem is not other people, your problem is you. Make peace with yourself, accept any shortcomings and pledge you will work on them. Having done so, there 's nothing anyone can say that can affect you negatively. The hardest demons are those in your head, once you 've conquered them, the rest is nothing.
     
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  5. ReALeST

    ReALeST Power Member

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    Do th harlem shake!:)

     
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  6. bryanmoneey

    bryanmoneey Regular Member

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    Basically, it's not that bad that they say something about you. They may also say positive things. If you worry that much about what they say, I think you're not confident on what you do. I mean if you do something good, the chances are they will be also positive about you. If it turn out that they are bullying you, that's another case :).
     
  7. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    "Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without."
     
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  8. virtual.indiano

    virtual.indiano Regular Member

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  9. SeoWrecker

    SeoWrecker Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    when you have good attitude , your biggest power will come once people underestimate you :smashfrea
     
  10. tacopalypse

    tacopalypse Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    in case you haven't noticed, effective marketing is pretty much all about "what others think".

    don't give a f*ck about it at your peril ;)
     
  11. JOBGG

    JOBGG Newbie

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    The fun thing about mental hangups is that they usually dissipate once you accept those mental hangups.
    So first learn to accept that you give a f*ck when you shouldn't. If you can't accept that, accept that you can't accept that you give a f*ck when you shouldn't and work from there.

    Yeah, but it's a specific sub-group, your customers. If your mom thinks that your marketing message is too extreme, jdgaf. If your English teacher thinks your grammar is atrocious...
    and that you shouln't start bullets with "and", jdgaf. What counts is that at the end of the month, there's cash in the bank.
     
  12. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    ive been told i have adhd of the keyboard and being honest its true
    personally ive never cared what people think of me because i no im a pain.
    all i care about, is what people think of my work, for me that's all that matters.
    most people except my attitude is off, but my work rate is very good, i can
    live with that. sticks and stones my friend . its odd at 43 im still like a hyper
    bunny on a sugar rush all the time, spare a thought for my wife
     
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    Last edited: Feb 18, 2013
  13. Orbit143

    Orbit143 Senior Member

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    Okay, don't mind my first response, I was too lazy to think.

    The thing that was most important for me when it comes to not giving shit about anything was my own success. I'm not a millionaire but I have decent income and financial reserves, I have a place to live and things to do. I KNOW that I don't have to depend on anybody or care about anything, not my employer, not my relatives, not the neighbors. And that knowing allows me to raise over anything and anybody. Most of the time I don't even listen to "normal" people, I find it hard to communicate with someone who depends on 9-5 job and has no idea what thinking on your own is. I don't need to speak to these people or defend myself to them, so I don't.

    I have a few (not many) friends which I can talk to in case I want to discuss something with somebody who can understand. But I don't do that often and I can probably picture myself living completely without interactions with outside world.

    That's just me, not saying my way is the best, but it works for me. Also I drink a lot (alone, thank god) :D
     
  14. djlance

    djlance Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Try the Sedona Method to help release your feelings:

    State your feeling; ie. "I'm upset about what that person said."

    Then answer these questions:

    Can you welcome/allow it?
    Can you let it go?
    Could you let it go?
    Would you let it go?
    When?
    Then imagine putting that thing, image, etc. in a box, chest, etc. close it up, lock it, or burn it.
    Repeat

    I think this helps you own the feeling, because it is yours. Assholes are everywhere, but you're in control of your reactions. I also think it helps to actually feel sorry for your "attacker". Laugh to yourself about how much it would suck to be that person! Try not to take everything too seriously.

    On the other hand, if you're getting bullied, a bully must be countered with overwhelming force or you need to exit that situation permanently. If you are being mistreated on a regular basis by the same group of people you have to stand up for yourself. Unfortunately, it only takes 3 acts of submissive behavior before you actually start to feel submissive.
     
  15. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Maybe if you spent most of your time stoned it would help.
     
  16. Vic Sage

    Vic Sage Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    People can't change you. Be yourself :)

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