How do you STAY and MAINTAIN your cool and IGNORE people?

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Hey, how do you all stay and keep your cool when you are being criticized and judged by a toxic family and their relatives? Do you always stay cool and ignore OR you get back at them?

And, what do you do when people and society starts getting nosy in your life and asking what you do and such like it's their freakin to know about every damn thing?

One thing I've come to know is that your own family (in my case it's pure toxic) and their relatives KNOWS EVERY GODDAMN THING in the WORLD haha. It's like the earth revolves around them. Whatever they do, it's correct and they will try to give you advice on doing that thing whereas they are living a limited lifestyle and by that, I mean an office job working for a boss lifestyle. If one month their salary is delayed by some days, they get freaked out because they literally are living the common average lifestyle and yet these families, the relatives, and the society will behave like they know everything in the world and the earth revolves around them.

They will judge your clothes (all of them judged my ex showing clevage, wearing tight clothes, wearing croptop, wearing shorts, and also what we eat and what we do etc etc.), lifestyle, will ask how much you make and whats going on with your family and so-so personal and professional matters. They are so nosy they don't any matters that they should NOT get involved in anyone's personal and professional lives.

The same thing happened in my apartment where a girl was told to wear proper clothes by one of the older women. I was WTF? It's her life, it's her choice, it's her clothes, who the f#ck are you to tell what to do? She is not eating your food or even knows you right? She was bothered for a couple of days by that fat sweaty women and some of her friends until she finally told her landlord that she was being told such and her landlord warned those women to mind their own business.

I'm sure some of you are or have been judged and criticized like this? You may or may not have been told what to do or how and what to wear? And you faced criticism from almost everyone in your family and some of your family members are toxic?

It's a good thing that I moved out or else I would have been suffocated by negativity. But this girl's issue reminded of my own thing back in those days. :(

How do you deal with day to day things like these, if you face or faced such things before?
 
That is good preparation for having a Mother-In-Law one day.

Fire refines steel.
 
Based on the way you wrote your post, you're judging them just as much as they're judging you. Only difference is they're vocal about it.

You do you, man. Ignore the rest.
 
Lifes too short, plus days gone by there were only so many faces to punch.

You will never please everyone all of the time, so just please the most important people close to you ( yourself and your partner ) and tell the others to go Foxtrot Oscar.
 
Based on the way you wrote your post, you're judging them just as much as they're judging you. Only difference is they're vocal about it.

You do you, man. Ignore the rest.

I used to say them to leave me alone and mind their business but I moved out to escape the toxicity and negativity and I found peace of life. I don't get headaches and stresses anymore but that girl's situation reminded me of my past situation.

That is good preparation for having a Mother-In-Law one day.

Fire refines steel.

Trust me bro, when I get settled in life, I will tell her that I am marrying HER and NOT her family. :)

I know what you meant by that, mother-in-laws are just creeps.

No offense to those good ones btw. :D
 
Thats why I invested $300 in my bose noise cancellation headphones.

But seriously, its a good idea to start developing thick skin in life, wether its your personal or business life, i noticed that people with 'thick skin' are doing better in almost every aspect of their life vs people that get offended easily / dwell too much on what others think. Dont be weak and start caring less.
 
how do you all stay and keep your cool when you are being criticized and judged by a toxic family and their relatives? Do you always stay cool and ignore OR you get back at them?

Realize that people always project on the outside how they feel on the inside. So if you are being criticized , ie: "OMG, you are self-employed, dude you are never gonna make it" then they only show that they lack Courage and are fearful to take that step in their own life because it is so miserable.

Whatever they do, it's correct and they will try to give you advice on doing that thing whereas they are living a limited lifestyle and by that, I mean an office job working for a boss lifestyle

Be thankful but decide for yourself.

How do you deal with day to day things like these, if you face or faced such things before?

Again, their opinion doesn't matter. If you give them the Chance to diminish you, you will become their prisoner and you lose. If someone puts you down and tells you that you can't do something then you tell "Fuck off, i do whatever the fuck i want" (in a nice way)


Stand your ground, or get jerked around!
 
First step to being happy is to stop giving a shit about what everyone thinks.

Correct mate, I already moved out and I only now care about myself and making a good life that I can enjoy :)

Lifes too short, plus days gone by there were only so many faces to punch.

You will never please everyone all of the time, so just please the most important people close to you ( yourself and your partner ) and tell the others to go Foxtrot Oscar.

Exactly and thanks for the overview and I like that Foxtrot Oscar example haha :D

You are oversensitive, start martial arts to build self-confidence.

Self-defense, martial arts, gym centers are pretty much NOOBISH where I live. There are huge gyms where I live but noob trainers. Only book educated and no personal experience. I don't understand this logic.

Can I learn martial arts or self-defense from watching youtube or any course? I always wanted to learn self-defense and martial arts. That will keep me involved in something besides my work as well as boost my confidence I can always give 2-3 hrs a day on learning martial arts or gym but need proper guidance. Can it be learned online?

There is a good chance that will cause issues as the family is usually part of the package.

Yes, and the stress, headaches, wasting tons and tons of time and getting less productive per day are the MAIN parts of the package haha. I'm sure such things will happen but I will have the talk on such things with the girl. Because to me, making my OWN LIFE and MONEY is always BIGGER and GREATER than stupid drama s#it that causes wasting time and losing concentration and the person to be unproductive day by day.

How did you yourself overcome or avoid such situation? @BassTrackerBoats
 
That is good preparation for having a Mother-In-Law one day.

My ex Mother-In-Law was schizophrenic, but weird enough the one that was the most kind and relatable. That either tells you something about my ex In-Law’s or me.

@ShiningWarrior try to ignore the opinions of others, but keep in the back of your mind that most of the time the advice comes forth out of fear.

For example your parents; on the one hand they might not understand exactly what it is that you do to earn a buck, and they may fear that you will get yourself into (financial) trouble.

On the other hand they seem to have an attitude of them knowing better. That’s often a misplaced sense of seniority, and it could very well be that your parents grew up in an authoritarian household where they where forced to meet certain expectations.

Please keep in mind that I’m generalizing here and I don’t have enough insights into your family’s background.

Try to keep your focus and don’t spend to much time on the negative aspects.

Basically this;
You do you, man. Ignore the rest.
 
Here you go: http://v1x0r.com/downloads/Books/SelfHelp/The%20Subtle%20Art%20of%20Not%20Giving%20a%20Fck.pdf
 
One cannot expect the best of all things. If you are living with parents even after job, be prepared to have some restrictions. It also comes with many benefits and that is why you still finally choose to live with them.
 
I had similar problems about IM with my familybut I sorted it out with my family when I showed them how much money I was earning and gave a full explanation on how I'd scale it up.
 
Got to agree with @BassTrackerBoats in-laws are the worst.

Part of my comment was tongue in cheek a little bit.

Mothers are always going to be Mothers most of the time and are really interested in the best for their child and thus there are times they may over step what some of us consider "the line".
 
Self-defense, martial arts, gym centers are pretty much NOOBISH where I live. There are huge gyms where I live but noob trainers. Only book educated and no personal experience. I don't understand this logic.

Can I learn martial arts or self-defense from watching youtube or any course? I always wanted to learn self-defense and martial arts. That will keep me involved in something besides my work as well as boost my confidence I can always give 2-3 hrs a day on learning martial arts or gym but need proper guidance. Can it be learned online?

Of course it depends where you live, but I would think there are martial arts trainers everywhere (a bit like there are Chinese restaurants everywhere). Just look for the best teacher available around you and take it from there.

Books or YT can only teach you the theory, but the only way is to do it physically.
 
One cannot expect the best of all things. If you are living with parents even after job, be prepared to have some restrictions. It also comes with many benefits and that is why you still finally choose to live with them.

Moving out was the BEST thing that I have done. Just wish that I had done it a lot sooner.
 
Part of my comment was tongue in cheek a little bit.

Mothers are always going to be Mothers most of the time and are really interested in the best for their child and thus there are times they may over step what some of us consider "the line".
Why does you work from home?
Why are you still in college?
Do you work 14hour per day like my husband?


Some of the stuff That get thrown around here.
 
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