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How do you guys substitute the real life banter you'd get from work collegues?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Rentriutoigjtuowl, Sep 16, 2015.

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  1. Rentriutoigjtuowl

    Rentriutoigjtuowl BANNED BANNED

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    I do recall really hating working in mainstream jobs overall, in the one job as a waitor and the few retail jobs I had. The one redeeming thing about it though (apart from some steady wages) is I used to get a laugh with my workmates sometimes and we'd often be friends outside of work and hangout.

    Since doing IM I have no social circle and I am pretty much a recluse. I certainly helped this along as I shunned opportunities to hang out with ppl thinking it worthless but now looking back I see that it is not healthy. This is mainly due to my PUA brainwashing and not being able to just chill with ppl without constantly analysing higher and lower value etc.

    No1 bothers me now but also I feel like a huge grey cloud is over my head alot of the time and I feel deep deep lonliness.

    I tried joining a few groups on meetup which seems pretty good with ppl in a similar boat, either due to work or just new to the city.

    Anyone else experienced this and what have been your ways to remedy it?

    University and jobs were really the main lifeline for social contacts for me. Even though I didnt really put effort into it and didnt like to be really outgoing you knew alot of aquiantances and in hindsight it did seem to do alot to help keep my sanity which seems on the ropes alot of the time now I have a life of almost total isolation.
     
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    Last edited: Sep 16, 2015
  2. arnosv

    arnosv Regular Member

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    I totally understand your point. I would do a team sport if I were you.

    You'll get your needed exercise and you meet a lot of new people.
     
  3. Duffers5000

    Duffers5000 Elite Member

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    So did you go to University to become a waiter or was that just a temp job.

    Presuming you are now qualified to do something a bit sharper than wait tables why dont you go and do that ?

    The old internet marketing doesnt seem to be making you a living so go and get a job.

    You might get some friends from it but dont be too dissapointed if you dont.
     
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  4. Unchained

    Unchained Junior Member

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    Travel. One of the perks of IM is you can do it anywhere as long as you have a stable internet connection. There's nothing wrong with travelling alone.
     
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  5. onair

    onair Junior Member

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    I know how you feel, it's the same for me. I quit my last day job in 2010 and on top of that, moved to another city. Now I've been living here for 5 years, friendless and without any sort of social life....apart from going to the movies alone every few months.

    I have gained a lot of weight, gone pale and probably look terrbile. But on the bright side, I can buy whatever I want from the grocery store, travel 3-4 times a year and don't have to worry about mortgage and stuff.

    Still, I'm planning to get a part time job starting next spring, partly because I want to be around people and partly because of taxes.

    Maybe you can get some new hobby that you have to do with other people a few times a week.. like singing in a choir or playing poker or something..
     
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  6. Rentriutoigjtuowl

    Rentriutoigjtuowl BANNED BANNED

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    Yes I started playing racket sport again in january (though was finished over summer) and its been great. I like it cos you can dive straight in and its competitive so there is a good teamspirit etc.

    Plus keeping fit is good to keep you feeling good.
     
  7. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I'm on a social schedule. I force myself to go out with my friends at least 3 times a week. I also associate with my family a lot. I'm a recluse by design: I'm an extreme introvert and I do not like people (in general) or enjoy being outside. However, I understand that I NEED to be social. No man is an island.

    So I got out and make friends. I strike up random conversations with people. I've learned to find out what we have in common and connect with them like that. I have several hobbies, and I've made friends through those hobbies.

    I think the suggestion to join a team sport is a great idea. :)
     
  8. Not Ste Hughes

    Not Ste Hughes BANNED BANNED

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    Just call yourself a dickhead every few hours and it will make you feel much better
     
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  9. Rentriutoigjtuowl

    Rentriutoigjtuowl BANNED BANNED

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    what are your hobbies?
     
  10. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Gaming, reading, volunteer work, writing (working on four novels at the same time right now) and crochet.

    Oh, that's another thing: try volunteer work. That is how I met a TON of my friends. I started volunteering at local nonprofit organizations.

    Part of my work is teaching adults reading and comprehension skills. There is a large portion of my area that is basically a ghetto. We help people from this area build their self-esteem, find jobs and contribute positively to society. Most of them have really poor reading and comprehension skills, so I help them develop that. It's a job that requires a lot of humility but I've made a lot of friends.
     
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  11. itsromanorc

    itsromanorc Regular Member

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    Fuck bitches.
    Get money.

    Bye.
     
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  12. archon10

    archon10 BANNED BANNED

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    Gotta get dat green for dem hoes.

    I go to Orangetheory 5 times a week and flex my muscles for the food boys. Today was the meat manager.
     
  13. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    As already mentioned: team sports are great. Another great one is dancing schools/groups. If you're like me, you can also join knitting classes because winter is coming and I hear SEO is dead. :eek:

    That just means you're insecure and you "fight" that by thinking all the time about whatever. Group dynamics don't need almost any real thinking.
     
  14. michaeladewale2010

    michaeladewale2010 Junior Member

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    wealth brings friends...ppl gravitate towards you when you make money...i dont mean average money however...when u are considerably wealthier than most ppl around you..u can be sure that ppl wil come to u...ur wisdom would then tell u how to judge which of those are real friends.....get money...more money

    thank me later
     
  15. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Eff knitting man. Crochet is way easier, and doesn't make you seem like a grandma when you do it. :p
     
  16. Rentriutoigjtuowl

    Rentriutoigjtuowl BANNED BANNED

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    I was gonna join a programming meetup but I dont have a laptop :D also I guess youd just sit around working on code not really good for socialising. Though I think it would be a good place to meet more intelligent ppl for a change.
     
  17. Rentriutoigjtuowl

    Rentriutoigjtuowl BANNED BANNED

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    Yes good call on volunteering I guess it would be a good place to meet non materialistic ppl. Ive always been hesitant to make the jump though since they ask for a commitent of meeting every week for x months. And i hate commitments. Though I suppose I should force myself to get over that. My mom is always telling me to do it.

    Yes Ive seen opportunities in my city for ghetto volunteering but I am too afraid of going to the ghetto or mixing with those types, even though my friends of old used to be quite ghetto I don't really wanna be going to those areas nowadays.
     
  18. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    That's why I said it requires humility.

    You really do need to get over your hatred of commitments. At some point in time you have to commit to something. You're committed to internet marketing, now fan out and commit to something else.

    I hate commitments too OP. But if you just volunteer for one day a week for three months, you'll get out of the house and be able to focus on someone other than yourself. Coming into contact with other people with problems that are way worse than yours always makes you grateful for what you've got.
     
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  19. jazzc

    jazzc Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Using other people's misery for your entertainment. And I was wondering what non-materialistic meant...
     
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  20. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Whoa. I am not using people's misery for my entertainment sir. I don't find being in my students' situations funny at all. It makes me feel bad for them. You realize they come from broken homes and environments where they've been taught to just barely get by. My job is to help them learn to come out of that.

    If you're trying to teach someone to read who lives in a roach-infested apartment and has a job working under the table bc they don't have a GED, you're going to go home and appreciate what you have even more. That's all I was saying.

    You will also meet people who sincerely want to help others and want to change the world for the better. Those are the type of people you want to hang with. Provided they aren't extremists or hippies.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2015
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