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Hilarious cybering... this is for all you e-whores out there.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by flow, Jan 24, 2009.

  1. flow

    flow Regular Member

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    Following Arthas' lead, here are some transcripts that bring me to tears (literally):

    Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate: Who are you?
    Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
    Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
    Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
    **pause**
    DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
    Bloodninja: How did you know?
    Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate: What the fuck?
    DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
    DirtyKate: F**k



    Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.
    Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    Bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    Bloodninja: Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
    Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    Bloodninja: Baby?



    Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
    j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
    Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli13: thats it.
    Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.



    I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
    SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
    I.F.: a Kodiac bear
    SexyKarla17: ?
    I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
    SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
    I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
    SexyKarla17: huh?
    I.F.: Bears get f**kin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
    Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
    SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
    I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
    SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
    I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
    I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
    SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
    I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
    SexyKarla17: what the f**k?
    I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.



    Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
    J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
    Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
    J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
    Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
    J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
    Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
    J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
    Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
    J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
    Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
    J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
    Partner6: It likes that.
    J-Dogg: aight.
    Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
    J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
    Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
    J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
    Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
    J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
    Partner6: WTF?!
    J-Dogg: Oh s**t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
    Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f**k women...
    J-Dogg: S**it just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
    Partner6: You dips**t.
    J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
    J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
     
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  2. stunna

    stunna Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Haha I hope those aren't yours.
     
  3. virtualv

    virtualv Junior Member

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    Why do people put this ridiculous crap up to waste time and space? OK...I'm just bitchy tonight...but seriously????
     
  4. flow

    flow Regular Member

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    You mean me? If you have something to say to me you should address me.

    This is the lounge, and I find it funny and some others might as well.

    What exactly are you suggesting I do, virtualv? Should I check in with you before I post a thread that might be ridiculous? We obviously have very different taste. Should I adhere to your own standards of quality or should we keep the board more free?
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2009
  5. AffGuy08

    AffGuy08 BANNED BANNED

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    LOL this was great!

    j_gurli13: thats it.
    Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.

    Hahahahaha!
     
  6. internetNinja

    internetNinja Junior Member

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    funny stuff and with that I am off to sleep. :sleeping:
     
  7. stunna

    stunna Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    (this comment should stay in your head)
     
  8. MoneyMachine

    MoneyMachine Junior Member

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    Haha that was awesome thanks for sharing!