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[help] Possibly "depressed"... what should I do?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by BlackSeng, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. BlackSeng

    BlackSeng Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I'm not emo-ing and I apologize if it disgust anyone.. but I really need some advice...

    My self-esteem, self-confidence and body image has been failing (I did post this and ask last week or so)...
    I feel my life is fucked-up... my face used to be clean but have been suffering sever acne breakouts day after day...

    I later found out that it is my moody mood and poor self-esteem and frustration that aggravate my acne problems.


    But the problem is.. I need to attend school every weekdays and I can't seem to be motivated any more... I lost the motivation to study... I want to focus more on my IM... what should I do?

    Of course, I never just stood there and suffer everyday.. I got several good books (Think and Grow Rich, etc) and hypnosis fies to "repair" myself. My previous GPA was 3.77 (not boasting) so I felt like spending some of my points (by skipping lessons) to repair my self-esteem, acne breakouts, external problems, .etc. Also, my dream is never to work for someone... I wanna be an Entrepreneur, a successful IMer and investor. My motivation in school drops everyday... and I feel so outcast by society now. I feel more and more stressed everyday and I became more and more pessimistic.

    I used to be an outspoken, extremely motivated, confident person. Now I'm gloomy and pessimistic most of the time.
    Due to all the rejections (love, academically, relationship, etc)..

    I never wanted to post such an emo or gay thread because BHW is about IM... but I just feel so "need" to do it and I spend a lot of time in BHW.

    So what should I do? Just skip one or 2 weeks of lessons to repair and get motivated aagain?
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2009
  2. andre09

    andre09 Junior Member

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    Actually, I'm sure a lot of BHW members are in school and often ponder the same things. I'm actually taking winter quarter off to get my IM stuff all set. It really is difficult balancing online work and school work.

    My opinion is, if you REALLY feel that you are going to be just thinking about IM the whole time at school, you might as well focus on IM and get it out of your system. You probably won't be productive school wise anyways, if all you think about is IM.

    Your acne outbreaks just further supports this idea, just make sure you actually look for treatment instead of just "waiting" for it to go away.

    If possible, just withdraw from the class. I wouldn't think having a quarter of W's on your transcript is that bad, as you can atleast explain that something serious happened that quarter. If it was just one W they would just assume that one class was too hard for you.

    And if you want to make posts like this more BHW friendly in the future, just take out the personal part and explain you want to focus on IM instead of school.
     
  3. origin

    origin Regular Member

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    Try to create your own time schedule, stick with it:

    1. Go to school everyday like you will find something new.
    2. Do some sport
    3. Get to know other people
    4. Get some rest
    5. Get online and make extra income to support point 1,2, and 3.
     
  4. BlackSeng

    BlackSeng Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Thanks Andre...

    I kinda regret for not nibbing the bud of my problems in the past.. if I have handled my rejections and such well in the past, this wouldn't have happened. The problems kinda snowballed and my self-esteem and self-confidence deteriorated and I did nothing about it. Now it's hell.

    And thanks again Andre, I will take your advice...
     
  5. Sid_who

    Sid_who Registered Member

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    Time is the best healer buddy. You remember the saying, "The darkest hour of the night comes just before the dawn"

    Dont be upset with life's ups and downs. You were not complaining when you had plenty of $$$ coming into your paypal account, did you? You want to be in field of IM. Go ahead! But remember, as far as i feel, you have your entire life ahead with you to experiment and earn online. But studies wont come again or so. Take a alanced approach to a life and keep smiling. Be in a goof friends company or in your parents company. Enjoy life !
     
  6. zenerchi

    zenerchi Regular Member

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    Make money
     
  7. reebok4146

    reebok4146 Registered Member

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    hey man im in the same boat have to balance school,school work,job,working out, gf(lol), and IM :(

    Just make a schedule and stick to it....go to school, finish hw, and then do your IM and then on the weekends you got all the time in the world to do your IM

    also try working out...it helps with confidence and makes me atleast more disciplined in everything else
     
  8. andre09

    andre09 Junior Member

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    Yes, that is definitely understandable. Sometimes we all need to take a break to sort things through; things will always work out in the end. Just make sure you still keep school as a not so far goal, once you better your situation.
     
  9. BlackSeng

    BlackSeng Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    thanks guys..

    I just don't get it sometimes..

    I studied REAL hard but never manage to get into the school I wanted..
    I tried so hard to woo the girl I wanted, but got rejected horribly...
    Some people did so little, yet achieve so much; I, on the other hand did so much... get nothing.. 90/10 rule, I guess.
    then being outcasted from my relatives and they look down on me.. my friend circle became smaller..

    FUCK THAT. I need to heal my inner-self to turn everything around.

    Dammit, I SWEAR that I must succeed.. I wanna smack those arseholes with cash on a cash-strap.
     
  10. theprofitpro

    theprofitpro Junior Member

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    Do you get exercise?

    Just going jogging can help boost endorphins, help your mood and increase your brain power for a period of time after.

    Just something I thought might help.
     
  11. plouyd

    plouyd Regular Member

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    Sounds like you need a night of social interaction.. or a huge party.. maybe a few nights ina row.. go really crazy, be that guy...

    Then get back to the same old shit. I was starting to feel all depressed and whatnot but I spent a few nights out and made the most of it, that's for sure (I went nuts I won't even list what I did here :D) but I'm feelin back to normal.

    oh yes and what person said above, run!
     
  12. showbizvet

    showbizvet Power Member

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    This won't address your problems directly, but think on it, cause it life there will always be sunlight and shadow and sometimes we get stuck in the shadows. One way to think about that (at least for me) is this, if the sun is shining, there will be shadows (darkness in life), but if you keep on moving and don't let the gloom overcome you, you will reach the light.

    I'm sure that's too (ahh... grasshopper) metaphysical for this thread, but don't give up, just realize you are walking the path of life, albeit a dark patch, but keep going forward and don't give up... You'll reach the light of self-esteem again.
     
  13. orbit

    orbit Regular Member

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    Figure out what you want to do.....

    Then make a plan and follow it faithfully.


    imho, being on-the-fence is fuckng with you.
     
  14. kkhill34

    kkhill34 Registered Member

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    I agree. Try getting some exercise or getting back into a sport that you used to do in high school. It's amazing the good that strenuous activity can do for your psyche. Be strong. My prayers are with you.:)
     
  15. suave

    suave Regular Member

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    Read "the game by neil straus" this would make sure you don't get rejected ever again
    Regards
    Suave
     
  16. BlackSeng

    BlackSeng Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I guess I became down because I suddenly realize what really life is...
    It's like a sudden slap to the face unexpectedly.

    Like I always thought being the nice guy will get the girl I want.. but that is totally not true at all; and hardworking doesn't mean you will be rewarded, you need to work smart.

    Thanks guys, I feel so much better.

    I must get back asap.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2009
  17. tony-raymondo

    tony-raymondo Junior Member

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    Probably not true.

    Take Acutane - i had sever acne. It works.

    There are other treatments. Go to acne SPECIALISTS!!! - DO NOT GO to spas or family doctors to cure acne.

    thats because modern schooling is horrible, innefecient and doesnt teach you anything useful.

    if you're making 200 dollars a day online, drop out and travel

    serious


    i read it

    its not very good - its too old. the science is bad. And its full of metaphysical bull crap. You might as well read The Secret. But the point of all those books is just Think Positive and always be a positive person.

    Read

    The Game
    Four Hour Work Week
    Stumbling on Happiness
    The Mating Mind
    Spent
    The Way of the Superior Man

    and my theory on female attraction - haha

    http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackh...u-description-female-attraction-i-solved.html
     
  18. tony-raymondo

    tony-raymondo Junior Member

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    You can be a nice guy. Just don't be a milquetoast.

    Nobody respects a milquetoast.

    Watch the movie "van wilder"

    It's a shit movie. But it does a good job of depicting a man who was not the cliche "ASSHOLE" who still gets lots of girls.

    But yes you are right. As a general rule, as a girls beauty Increases, the amount of asshole behavior you need to display in front of her increases.

    Girls swear this isn't true.

    It is.

    It's not their fault though. Never blame them.

    Girls even get mad at themselves becuase they don't like nice guys. Hence the scene in James Bond:

    Mrs. Solange: What is it about bad men? I had so many chances to be happy, so many nice guys. Why can?t nice guys be more like you?
    James Bond: Because then, they?d be bad.


    50,000 years ago in the Pleistocene, the males who displayed the greatest amount of machiavellian intelligence sired more children.


    Yup

    Thank god you were born in the west
     
  19. redtide1969

    redtide1969 BANNED BANNED Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I wish you the best BlackSeng. It took balls IMO to start this thread and I commend you for that. I went through a period in my early 20's (I'm 40 now) where I felt the exact same way you do. It's been mentioned above, but it was the key thing that helped me move past that phase in my life.

    It was more social interaction and exercise..

    I've found that it's pretty universal to have the walls close in on you if you aren't balancing your online life with with a healthy offline life. While we all work our brains hard doing IM, it really does need to be balanced with outside stimulous. If not, all of the things you described can become overwhelming (pessimism, lack of motivation to do other things outside of IM etc).

    I found that the only way out of the state I was in was to FORCE myself to interact more socially and to exercise in order to bring up my heart rate more often. By doing this on a daily basis, it made all the difference in the world.

    I believe it will do the same for you my friend,

    Good luck
     
  20. tekayo

    tekayo Registered Member

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    please note i have a very, very big personal experience with this, what i say should really count for you:
    if you can: please learn this by heart, please.

    i missed a year. last year. i am talking about school. it was horrible but turned out to be the best thing ever happened to me. free time for my self.
    if you can, let go a year and work out your personal issue. you will be so intelligent next year to be the best student there it you want.

    The First Rule : if you got a problem, you need a new skill .
    if you forget this you wont be happy, i swear. some will tell u to be positive...
    you just need to say : " okey, then what should i do about it" after every complain, negative thought, problem...
    example: girls rejects me, --->think about the action: i need to learn seduction, pickup techniques, being funny, ....
    i'm stupid academically ----> Google: how to study, how to become intelligent, how to concentrate...

    Second Rule : Learn, learn and then learn.
    read books about motivation, no i don't like them.
    read about relationships. about managing ur time, about life, about thinking positively, but only read the best of the best. bad books make you lose time trying to understand, and finally you get nothing. read the best books in every topic.
    Reading to learn: mean taking notes, memorizing them, working with them.
    this is your first new skill: Google : how to read to get the most out of a book.

    Third Rule: get all the fulfillment you need by doing (the action), not by getting result.
    when you read a relationship book, you won't have to worry about girls because the day will come when u will be the one.
    if you do not read , that is when u are a loser
    and u get pissed by thinking that ur a loser, and lead that anger with the first rule toward the actions. this is how u will take actions which make u a winner.
    by the way, spend time in front of the mirror and say good things to your self. it works. especially after finishing an action.


    sign your not okey :
    getting trouble sleeping
    dreaming in the night
    waking up the morning with a fucked up head.

    Mistakes : i'm telling you, avoid this:
    loosing time on things you was not carrying about, and those doesn't make you a winner in any way like additional sports, watching movies, listening to music... u will know them.
    loosing a lot of time in front of the computer: 4hour a day is so enough for ur IM. more is dangerous.
    Thinking that the problem is somewhere it is not: (ok, this is the biggest mistake one could do i think) some will frame it : not taking responsibility, being a victim, making excuses
    if you are not academically successful, it is not because life not fair or your parent did not teach you how, it is because you did not google it and work it out last night. so the first thing to do when feeling confused : Ask : what is the Problem

    Tips:
    the 4 first hour of your day are the most productive, finish that hard task (learning) in the morning to have the rest of the day all for you.
    with people, it is hard. but the more mistakes you make the smarter you will be. so go for it.
    laptop is not the good productive last thing to do before sleep. thinking is.



    in closing : you don't see this right now : but i'm telling you: you are lucky.
    for example: guys that are successful with girls now some stuff about it, they think their okey so they don't learn.
    when you start from Zero, you will learn really a lot about them that u will get to Super hero level. i did.

    all i ask you is to spend time thinking (not complaining)
    start by thinking about my words.

    so, wanna start getting new skills ?


    if i can help, pm me, and let talk it out. we can talk on skype msn...
    good luck