Uptownbulker
BANNED
- Oct 21, 2007
- 682
- 516
My family is divided on the whole Thanksgiving thing. Some of them say that Thanksgiving is only about the beginning of the decline of the Human Beings in the Americas; what with all sorts of hideous diseases, famine and slaughter brought to the "New World" by the Europeans. It was only "new" to those dumbasses anyway because we'd been living in it for something around 20,000 years.
The Europeans just got lost on the way to India.
The European branch of the family says things like, "Aw, you stupid shits, you didn't even use the Wheel!"
The Human Beings then reply with stuff like, "One sentence, motha: "Little Big Horn!"
European: "Yeah, you bow-and-arrow primitives!"
Human Being: "Yeah, shot your ass right in the back so we could steal your Winchesters! EAT LEAD WHITE BOY!"
European: "Get your ass back to the reservation!"
This sort of bantering goes on while dinner is being prepared and this years feast was a real winner!
Turkey, naturally, brown potatoes in the skin, sweet corn, bison (buffalo, to you!) steaks and ribs done up on the barbie, pumpkin pie, apple pie, cooked squash, home-made wine and lots of beer; one distant cousin just moved here from the home places in Kentucky and he brought some Mason jars of clear liquid which I am certain must be some kind of rocket fuel, 'cause it'll sure light you up!
They've got the fire going now; burning bright and them drunken Indians and them drunken White Boys are all gonna be dancin' in the firelight! Occasionally one or two fall into the fire but we just drag'em out, throw on a little water and they go right on like nothing happened. Haven't lost anyone yet!
Needless to say, the girls are the best dancers and real easy on the eyes, as it were!
Everyone is giving thanks in their own way for something, I suppose and it's all good, so Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
The Europeans just got lost on the way to India.
The European branch of the family says things like, "Aw, you stupid shits, you didn't even use the Wheel!"
The Human Beings then reply with stuff like, "One sentence, motha: "Little Big Horn!"
European: "Yeah, you bow-and-arrow primitives!"
Human Being: "Yeah, shot your ass right in the back so we could steal your Winchesters! EAT LEAD WHITE BOY!"
European: "Get your ass back to the reservation!"
This sort of bantering goes on while dinner is being prepared and this years feast was a real winner!
Turkey, naturally, brown potatoes in the skin, sweet corn, bison (buffalo, to you!) steaks and ribs done up on the barbie, pumpkin pie, apple pie, cooked squash, home-made wine and lots of beer; one distant cousin just moved here from the home places in Kentucky and he brought some Mason jars of clear liquid which I am certain must be some kind of rocket fuel, 'cause it'll sure light you up!
They've got the fire going now; burning bright and them drunken Indians and them drunken White Boys are all gonna be dancin' in the firelight! Occasionally one or two fall into the fire but we just drag'em out, throw on a little water and they go right on like nothing happened. Haven't lost anyone yet!
Needless to say, the girls are the best dancers and real easy on the eyes, as it were!
Everyone is giving thanks in their own way for something, I suppose and it's all good, so Happy Thanksgiving to you all!