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[GET] How to get Laid

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Atlusphere, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. Atlusphere

    Atlusphere BANNED BANNED

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    1. Check the news/newspaper/interwebs for a local house that burned down. Remember the address.
    2. Buy a sweet motorcycle helmet...no you don't need to actually own a motorcycle.
    3. Go to a bar...take a cab, or at least park a little way from the bar. Wear your new helmet.
    4. Walk into the bar, pick a target, and walk up next to her.
    5. Take off your helmet and somewhat ruffle your hair, saying something like "Man nice day for a ride.".
    6. The girl should ask you something stupid like "Do you ride?" or "You have a motorcycle?" etc. etc. Of course, say yes...bullshit a little, maybe even throw in the name of a bike. If you're feeling courageous say it's an August F4CC($120,000)...that's this for those of you that don't know:

    [​IMG]

    7. Offer to give her a ride. When she says yes, take her out to the parking lot.
    8. Find an empty parking place. Walk over to it and bullshit that you know THAT'S where you parked your bike, there's no other way. Maybe walk around some and "look for your bike" some more. Obviously here you want to be real pissed/sad/etc.
    9. When she offers to give you a ride home, tell of course take her up on it. Remember that address from Step 1? Tell her that's your address.
    10. When you pull up obviously (and you must do this good) freak out about "your house" being burnt down. Ya really gotta fake this one to get her to believe you.
    11. After all this, she's sure to give ya some for such the rough day you had ;)

    <3DC :)
     
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    Last edited: Jun 9, 2011
  2. NoirHat

    NoirHat Regular Member

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    wait wut
     
  3. raydaniels

    raydaniels Regular Member

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    Nice!
     
  4. bk071

    bk071 Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    That bike FTW! :p
     
  5. JuliaG1

    JuliaG1 Regular Member

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    Touché my friend, touché
     
  6. altschule

    altschule Regular Member

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    I believe it was part of someone stand up wasn't it?
     
  7. jdog37

    jdog37 Power Member

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    Ah the old sympathy fuck.... good one.

    Would like to add: Chat her up a bit and find out what type of pets she likes. When you get to the burned house fall too your knees crying. Say something like "All these worldly possessions can be replaced but nothing can replace my cat/dog Buster (or whatever). He/she was my best friend in the world.... I don't think I should be alone tonight."
     
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  8. Atlusphere

    Atlusphere BANNED BANNED

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    Yes sir!
     
  9. KraftyKyle

    KraftyKyle Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    just tested this method... WORKS GREAT!
     
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  10. Atlusphere

    Atlusphere BANNED BANNED

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    That's the spirit! Hahaha. As always on BHW add your own twist and you'll have success ;)
     
  11. dillfly2000

    dillfly2000 Junior Member

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    Ok, so I followed your steps, but here's what happened.

    1) I walked into a bar
    11) Ended up in hospital with some memory loss.
     
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  12. Starcodes

    Starcodes Regular Member

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    lame the easiest way is to b a wing man for your self brag about what you got and what you want spit your game nigga:D
     
  13. bezopravin

    bezopravin BANNED BANNED

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    Seems like you should wear your helmet back after step 5

    5. Take off your helmet and somewhat ruffle your hair, saying something like "Man nice day for a ride.
     
  14. muscleteen

    muscleteen Regular Member

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    This is the difference between lurkers and those who actually make it.. They take action! :D
     
  15. dconstrukt

    dconstrukt Registered Member

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    The title of this thread should be called How to NOT get laid... cuz when you do what the OP says, there's no way you're getting laid...

    by a chick.

    just sayin'
     
  16. WPRipper

    WPRipper Supreme Member

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    This is lame,maybe will work with frustrated kids, but still lame
     
  17. jb2008

    jb2008 Senior Member

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    Why the hell you do all that work when you can just cry on her shoulder
     
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  18. jdog37

    jdog37 Power Member

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    I guess you all don't realize it is a joke.
     
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  19. wholesalereplica

    wholesalereplica BANNED BANNED

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    here is an alternative

    1. get a plane to Bangkok

    2 get laid
     
  20. scopezero

    scopezero Regular Member

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    too much work for a fk

    one personal suggestion to you my man ------ start writing movie scripts and that better be bollywood :)

    and always remember

    fuck a girl she will love you
    Love a girl she will fuck you