Epic Customer Encounters: Stories You Can't Keep to Yourself!

virtualbyron

Jr. VIP
Jr. VIP
May 11, 2014
2,064
1,980
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The one hour guest post!

First he asked for an SEO audit of his site, I did so and provided him with a report.

Then we talked a little about price and he asked me for a list of guest posts, I provided him

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Mmm weird, because it's not at all the site's niche and I just did the SEO audit, so I asked him again.

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Hahaha LMAO it's hard to understand, so he wanted an SEO audit for fun then links for another unrelated site he never mentioned!

Anyway he needs 60 guest posts so nevermind I keep going and provide him with samples and prices again, for the real site!

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He switched the niche again!

Again new sample + list

I showed him some of the biggest news websites in the world.

He replied:
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I explained to him that I do not own the biggest USA news sites:
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I gave up on this customer even for 50+ guest post







Unlimited budget man
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A few years ago I met a man who wanted to buy and revamp a website that was making $750 per month + wanted more links and articles...

So we were talking and talking...
The dude wanted everything! No joke he talked like he owned the world!
From time to time I asked him about the budget:

"unlimited"!!

Several times I tried,

"no worry I will pay whatever is needed I know what I want"

For more than an hour we planned a monster site!

A crazy site, you have no idea!


Honestly at some point I thought that maybe I talk with a Qatari prince who wants to start a funny IM journey with exotic custom features!

This project would easily bring me 6-12 months of income in a single opportunity!!

I started to picture myself in Dubai drinking a mojito in some skypool with my new friend talking about his business...


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Guess how much is the unlimited budget?
$175
I swear it's true. For a site that was making $750 / month.

I asked him if he was joking about buying the site for a lower price than the weekly income...

He replied

"Does this site really make money? Come on? Ok I can go to $190"


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I'm the only one that got trolled like this? I'm sure some here have way crazier stories
 
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One time a customer told me "you testicle of horse" :D

Man, it was funny as hell.

True story.
 
I was asked to shut down a website by a competitor that I was outranking back in 2019.

They told me their site wouldn't cause as much climate change because it "used better words".

I thought they were kidding, it was a sports site, but they weren't kidding.

I still outrank them.
 
I was asked to shut down a website by a competitor that I was outranking back in 2019.

They told me their site wouldn't cause as much climate change because it "used better words".

I thought they were kidding, it was a sports site, but they weren't kidding.

I still outrank them.
You should have asked to buy them out
 
One time a customer told me "you testicle of horse" :D

Man, it was funny as hell.

True story.
LMAO what did you do to him?

I was asked to shut down a website by a competitor that I was outranking back in 2019.

They told me their site wouldn't cause as much climate change because it "used better words".

I thought they were kidding, it was a sports site, but they weren't kidding.

I still outrank them.
Some people are way crazier than others!
 
LMAO what did you do to him?
We had to ban him (we refunded his last payment), and he complained that it was normal for him to talk in that way.

I don't think we have re-activated his account but he probably created a new one.
 
I met a potential client that didn't understand why I offered him to run a Google Ads campaign when he's already ranked first on Google.
For which keyword?
The legal name of the business. Something like "A.A Traffic light installments and servicing LTD".
 
1. Every time I talk with this client I would spend more time with him talking about Game of Thrones, last episode then the actual job, mad funny, and he was very happy with the job.

2. When I did freelancing, there was this person that wanted to speak to my wife "to knock some sense into me" regarding the price I've asked and he was serious
 
You guys never had french customers :D

Belgian clients count?
I'm in France right now, people make me crazy sometimes but not all French speakers are the same:

French from Paris are the worst ever and they know it, a 10/10 nightmare guarantee haha, they do not even try to hide it!
People from other French city doesn't even consider them as "normal' French.

Swiss and Canadian are pretty cool people, never had any issue with them but the French are the French!
 
I'm in France right now, people make me crazy sometimes but not all French speakers are the same:

French from Paris are the worst ever and they know it, a 10/10 nightmare guarantee haha, they do not even try to hide it!
People from other French city doesn't even consider them as "normal' French.

Swiss and Canadian are pretty cool people, never had any issue with them but the French are the French!
Yeah, I understand that not all the French speaking people are the same, but the closest thing I have is a Belgian client ;-)

She's great, though. By far, my favourite client.
 
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