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Dealing with neighbors

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by clopper, Dec 6, 2009.

  1. clopper

    clopper Regular Member

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    I live in a medium size city on an ok block but I have these redneck neighbors. Like the son runs around the yard with bows/arrows, carrying a dead animal and setting small fires. The daughter invites all these young hoods over and screetches when they touch her. I've called child services and the police/fire department 64x this week as a ritual but I can't seem to get them taken away or even toned down. Any advice from the masses? It's mainly the screaming thats taking away from my work as I work 100% out of my home...
     
  2. lolzap

    lolzap Regular Member

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    Go bang the chick.
    If you can't resolve these problems legally I'd suggest you either soundproof the room you work in or just move somewhere else. Have you also considered talking nicely with the parents of the 2 kids?
     
  3. clopper

    clopper Regular Member

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    I own, so moving is out. The parents told me to get lost and the landlord they have does not speak english nor does he care as long as he gets paid I guess. I put up a wire fence but they just ran around it, I kinda don't want to spend cash or make my house some fort since I think they would just throw shit over it. I went out and bought bear traps but my friend told me even if they trespass they could sue if they stepped on one. Damn kids, and the girl is like 12, so no bangin that...
     
  4. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    i this feeling all to well. i recently moved to my new place august 2008.
    but prior to that i live in a not so nice area from 1990 - 2008.
    the years leading from 1990 - 2001 were so so, bit of trouble here and
    there but nothing u dont get everywhere.. then the crap hit the fan when
    a drug rehab opened up a safe house for people next door to me, more like
    a crap house for crackheads - thieves - and sh1t - for the next 7 yrs i put
    up with so much sh1t from that 1 place i was half way to needing 2 samartons
    help. in the end i called in what u yanks would call a senator or in the uk an mp
    with 18 months i was gone thanks to my mp. instead of waking up every morning
    to crowds of crackheads and music to make your ears bleed, now i wake up to
    this. ps >> [MOVE]

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2009
  5. biks

    biks Power Member

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    I had a bikey gang type neighbor who had a pair of dogs that were left outside most of the time and barked all fucking day. All of the surrounding neighbors tried to talk to the guy. Nothing.

    Fortunately he sold drugs. (what a surprise) He got caught and he went away...along with those dogs.

    Is you neighbor doing ANYTHING illegal? Document it and be a "good neighbor" and give it to the cops.
     
  6. clopper

    clopper Regular Member

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    lol, I have a 13lb dog. He only scares the little kids as every wannabee has a pitbull. I'm going to keep a very close eye on them now, thanx biks
     
  7. Elimination

    Elimination Newbie

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    1 - If anything of theirs falls on your property, claim it as your own, be it garden hose, rake, pet, or child.
    2 - Put a helpful banner on their house while they're asleep at night. Some helpful slogans are, "Pornography Warehouse", "Closed for De-Lousing", "Orgy Tonight", or "Home of the Drugs For Guns Program".
    3 - Steal their morning paper...from their living room.
    4 - Every time you speak with them, tell them you're interested in some sort of spouse swap. When they point out that you do not have a spouse, nod suggestively over towards your Subaru.
    5 - Tired of boring old eggings? Try to "chicken" their house! It don't matter if they're alive or dead, you're neighbors are gonna hate it...trust me.
    6 - Get some dog poo. Put it in a paper bag. Light it on fire. Put it on your neigbor's door step. Ring the doorbell. When they try to put the fire out, that's when you give them the unwanted bikini waxing of a lifetime!
    7 - Never forget the old timey charm an outhouse can give your front yard.
    8 - Get all offended when they express how much they don't like the cool moat you dug around their house for them.
    9 - Always barbeque over a flaming tire.
    10 - Be sure to remind the mail carrier that your neighbors happen to hate whatever ethnic group the mail carrier happens to be.
    11 - Make sweet, gentle love to whatever snowman they happen to make.
    12 - Stand on your front yard twirling a pair of nunchucks and point at their house. Do not stop until the police show up.
    13 - Play the theme to Three's Company on a loop. Turn your stereo up to 11. Leave town for a week.
    14 - Offer to help clean out your neighbor's garage. Then quickly barricade yourself in there and claim their garage in the name of Spain.
    15 - Tell the local news station that there's a stain on the side of their house that kinda looks like Jesus. Invite pilgrims to start a shanty town on your lawn while they worship your neigbor's aluminum siding.
    16 - 4 simple words: "Start a llama farm."
    17 - Every Sunday invite every one you know to an open air wedding you're having in your front yard for your A-Team action figures.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 3
  8. tygrus

    tygrus Supreme Member

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    If you get a big dog and it mauls a kid, you will be the one going to jail even if it happens on your property.

    If you don't want to move, then I suggest you invest in some landscaping. Nothing like keeping the riff raff out than a couple 30 ft high trees and some rocks.
     
  9. biznets

    biznets Junior Member

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    Sorry my friend, but your only option is to move, I've been there and tried everything else, and better to do it sooner rather than later, it won't get any easier believe me, good luck.
     
  10. MuonTrail

    MuonTrail Registered Member

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    Talk to the son and convince him it'd be freakin hilarious if he started the fire inside his parents bedroom.
     
  11. tygrus

    tygrus Supreme Member

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    This is probably your best advice. You live beside a neglected rental property owned by a slumlord. Things are not likely to get better and could get worse, including not being able to sell one day.
     
  12. Sanitarium

    Sanitarium Regular Member

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    I guess making love to your eyes since you're read
    Location:
    In your mind.
    I can do them in all sizes. Prices vary, body bags not included. Let me know.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. troybh

    troybh Junior Member

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    Seriously dude nothing you can do about a screaming 12 year old. The simpleest advice is when something ticks me out about my neighbors. (Of course something real like late night party, not a screaming kid) my neighbors know I am pissed. I wake up at 6am start up power equipment, mow the yard, and then turn up my KISS greatest hits album full blast from my garage and let it run all day.
     
  14. tacopalypse

    tacopalypse Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    you're being too whitehat about this. think blackhat. invent a very nasty and inflammatory story about him. write an article about it and include his address and phone number. use seo tactics to spread it all over the internet. that should force him to move sooner or later. :scool:
     
  15. clopper

    clopper Regular Member

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    I love the blackhat comments about powertools and such at 6am, holes, etc. What with all the people telling me to move from a house I own? Seriously? Move from a house I paid for to get away from one neighboring tenant in a different house? I'd do a lot more than what was mentioned before I'd give up my house for them. Really, a lesson is to not run away from your problems but to deal with them, I'm asking for creative ideas to deal with it. If I wanted to run like a little girl I'd be living in some town called Mayberry where nothing bad ever happens...
     
  16. MuonTrail

    MuonTrail Registered Member

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    I, too, agree that moving is not the solution.

    Random ideas for the sake of flexing the ol' creativity muscles:
    1. Hire a translator and threaten to get the landlord deported if he doesn't kick them out. (Just a stab in the dark, I suppose).
    2. Hire a translator and tell him that they're manufacturing meth and that if he doesn't kick them out you'll report it to the police. (IIRC, if they really were it would result in the house being condemned and he'd be unable to rent it out again.)
    2. Paint a sign in blood that says "Abandon all hope ye rednecks who enter here." Paint it in view of the family/kids.
    3. I like the power tools idea. Twist: find out what time the husband leaves for work and wake up him 2-3 hours earlier.
    4. http://xkcd.com/666/
    5. Get their phone number and put ads on CL up for all sorts of things. (Hint: think furry orgy party)
    6. Ramp up your CL'ing and buy the house from the slumlord and then evict the rednecks.
     
  17. ChampGuy

    ChampGuy Junior Member

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    Lol at number 4

    Here's an idea. Buy some "kudzu seeds" and plant them in their yard while they are on vacation. The only problem is that the kudzu might spread to your yard.

    [​IMG] That's an abandoned cabin that was "kudzued". Your neighbors' house won't be covered this much but Kudzu does spread really fast.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2009
  18. Laser

    Laser Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    throw a good amount of marijuana seeds in his backyard.
    Spray water on them and wait 8 weeks.

    Cultivation will land them in jail and the children taken away

    One of my favorites goes like this:

    Visit a piano store and buy piano wire for the lowest key on a piano.
    Then drive an eye hook into the wall or foundation of your neighbors house when they are gone.
    Attach the piano wire to the eye hook and then secure the other end to something solid like a tree,
    making sure to get the wire as tight as possible.
    Then,,,,,, when they are sleeping,,,,,,

    Strike that wire with a hammer and let it ring !!!!!


    B-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-A-A-O-O-N-N-N-G !!!

    Their entire house will vibrate and the sound will sound like the Devil rising from the center of the Earth.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2009
  19. Barnaby

    Barnaby Newbie

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    #11! OMG #11! I don't think I've laughed this hard in over a decade!

     
  20. yamahafzr

    yamahafzr Regular Member Premium Member

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    Plant some bamboo in their backyard if you can. Bamboo is nasty shit and will grow just about anywhere, and if they dont catch it early it will cost them thousands to remove before it engulfs their backyard.