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Criticise My Clickbank Product's Sales Page!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by lewi, Dec 29, 2010.

  1. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Hey,

    Recently put out my first clickbank product and i know it's not up to scratch (or should i say as good as it could be just yet) but i am looking for some constructive criticism on the design, layout and the sales copy from you guys!

    Anything that you think should be changed... is good..bad just let me know!

    Want to get this one sorted before i send out the email to the affiliates and start really promoting it hard myself.

    Note: I have got tracking on the sales page and am changing things to increase the CTR as we go but i feel it may still need some more major changes and my mind has gone blank.

    Sales Page Link = http://curemyscar.com

    Lewi
     
  2. newnetworks

    newnetworks Junior Member

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    sales page good. 9.5/10

    (possibly needs a video of some sorts)


    fix or edit the affilaite pages to make the html code clickable, once the id is inserted, to make it easier for to promote for you.

    nice site btw
     
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  3. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Yeah ive been trying to find a good video guy who doesn't charge the world over for some custom work! So far found one guy but the video content isnt the best... will contact him again and see what else he can do and send him the text and images myself. Auto playing a video usually grabs peoples attention and then get a voice over to it too.

    Good point about the affiliate part... I have kinda put my main focus on the actual sales letter and page rather than the affiliate page. Will see if i can find some coder to knock me something up :)

    Thanks for the constructive suggestions!

    Lewi
     
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  4. GreenGoblin

    GreenGoblin BANNED BANNED

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    yea a video would compliment it, nice color choice...i thought it was dope myself.
     
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  5. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Ok,

    Not sure if having my sales page compared to dope is a compliment or not but all the same thanks!

    Have contacted the guy about a video now!

    Lewi
     
  6. gamingneeds

    gamingneeds Regular Member

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    When I load the page in IE I get a giant space under the banner. Also, where it starts "Someone's foot struck him in the face..." the words are overlapping each other as well as many other places. I've also noticed the pictures are overalapping some of the words, and some of the words are overlapping the pictures. When I click the text, it actually disappears! Seriously!

    EDIT: Seems these page flaws were fixed. Probably loaded up while you were making tweaks

    Besides many layout flaws, the copywriting isn't all that good. The story seems very fake, John and Tania? The before and after pictures look like two different people (even though they might not be) - the ear looks long and slim on the right photo, and the ear on the left is more short and stubby.

    Lastly, you tell the reader to read below to find out John's happy ending, but you never really get into John's happy ending besides a small snippet about how John discovered your eBook.

    Anyways, I definitely think you need a designer and a copywriter. I wouldn't promote the product at it's current production stage.

    Just wanted to give you a real opinion. :/

    P.S. - Who is going to be your main geographic market? The UK? Doubt it. Most of your buyers will be in the US so you might want to change "rugby" and "at university" to something within the US like "football" and "at the university he was attending" or "college". We don't say "at university" here.

    Hope this helps.
     
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  7. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Some very good points there!

    Will change the sacopy to a more US/universal based english and terminology.

    Not sure what the layout errors were due to so will get my coder to make sure it works in all browsers.

    Will also see if i can get them to take some more after pics and see if we can get them to look more similar.

    Lewi
     
  8. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    No offense intended but really that comment doesn't help at all! If your trying to increase your post count it's not working... be more constructive and people will actually listen and take note of what you say.

    Lewi
     
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  9. d4l1t0s

    d4l1t0s Power Member

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    Hey Lewi don't take it personal but the page is boring !!
    The colors are boring and it is a long read , also there is no squeeze page in there !!!
    What I would suggest is to use a Video Squeeze page first , with a video .
    So It goes video on the right and the opt in on the left and offer one of the most hidden secrets as a gift for them to enter the email . Also Your need some shocking Title !! and try to change your colors , they are really boring ( I would suggest RED and Black highlighted with yellow ) with a white backgroud .
    And for For the second page you can put your sales pages but again with another video.
    Thank you for coming here blblablablabla , look further down and you will see the most effective ways to cure your scars 100% natural or something similar ...
    Also try to move your testimonials a little bit up and get people on fiverr to give you 5$ testimonial as videos . they convert better .
    Hope it helps
    Cheers
    D4l1t0s
     
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  10. thetvnun

    thetvnun Power Member

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    imo - photos were great! (the guy on top looked photoshopped??). the sales copy was compelling, but longish. . . yeah like they said, if you could get a video up would be great. really i cant think of a more motivated buyer.
     
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  11. Nookie Monster

    Nookie Monster Senior Member

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    I think the stretch marks pics will be a big draw. MANY women will gravitate towards that ! Atleast the ones I know. :)
     
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  12. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Hey,

    I thought about doing a squeeze page with an optin but personally i hate them... i suppose that is something to split test once i have finished getting this main sales page done to perfection and then doing a 50/50 split test once the conversion rates improve to see which one works better across 5,000 to 10,000 visitors!

    Ok will put a video up and then maybe try a buy button next to that video if people are already convinced by that then they will then just buy then and there.

    Thanks to both of you :)

    Lewi
     
  13. behealthy

    behealthy Registered Member

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    Hmm, yeah its ok, but somehow it doesnt grab me. I think you need to do something about what I call the grabber ( the sub heading). There is too much space in between the sub heading and you could make the type font more pofessional but yet bold...it just looks boring right now.

    I actually think you should get rid of the whole beginning sentence about John being the "hot shot" at uni, people dont wanna hear that when they are reading about some fix to cure their scar. How stories are presented on tv, where they "set the scene" and then shows you how the person got over/found a solution to there worry/trouble/difficulty etc etc is totally different to the way you present a product where you only have seconds to take there interest. Peoples attention span is much less when they trawl through the internet than when they are in front of the tv or even reading a magazine. The tv and magazine is seen as an authority, where as your website is not. Your convincing skills have to be much more direct.

    If you were looking at it as a customer would YOU buy it?

    Hope that helps :)
     
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    Last edited: Dec 30, 2010
  14. newnetworks

    newnetworks Junior Member

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    this thread is getting interesting for because the lesson learnt on it can must be applied to all sorts of sales / optin pages for similar niches.
    using the colurs and the layouts and all is good advice.

    thanks to you also for replying to the suggestsions. make good and make better.
     
  15. stumblebum

    stumblebum Registered Member

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    My honest opinion Lewis is it still needs some work put into to it.

    Your affiliate area is not very good, you have two banners, both static also. You need more more then two.

    Get some 125/125 also some 250/250 get some of the most widely used ones. The pictures on the sales page did not convince me n the slightest, especially the womens stretch marks.

    The sales page structure does not do it for me either.

    Have a look at this site here http://www.candidayeastexposed.com/

    Much better look and feel to it, the picture of the medic makes a world of difference too.

    You'll get there though, just at the sage it at now t be honest you'll not attract many affiliates or get to many sales.

    Sorry but just my honest opinion
     
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  16. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    I'm not sure about the squeeze page but I do like a call to action right at the top of the home page since this may be the last blurb a potential customer sees before they choose to leave your page.
     
  17. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    Shouldn't this be in the ClickBank forum?

    By the way, Congratulations on your first CB product! :)
     
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  18. seanjohn

    seanjohn Regular Member

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    You need to work on your storytelling. If I'm devistated on how bad my scar is, I don't want to read about how nice John's life was. I'd click the back button faster than you can say "no sale". You need to set the premise of the story RIGHT AWAY. Someone who is looking for solutions don't want you to tell them a story.

    Talk about the problem FIRST.

    Also, do you know your target market? If it's primarily females, they aren't going to care if John's a rockstar with women, because your audience can't relate to that.

    I would do split testing and swap the stories around; and maybe a split test that omits either story.
     
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  19. Bryan

    Bryan Power Member

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    is it on clickbank now? i want to promote it, looks good :)
     
  20. ericsson

    ericsson Elite Member Premium Member

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    Tell me when your affiliate page is up with banners, email campaigns, articles, etc.