A few of my favorites: Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris." Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in three moves. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's not lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Why did we bomb Hiroshima? Because sending Chuck Norris was just too inhumane. And my all time favorite: Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways - just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is!