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Can You criticize my sales page and JV page Please?

Discussion in 'Black Hat SEO' started by eduardo38, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. eduardo38

    eduardo38 Regular Member

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    I paid to a copywriting company for this job but due my English is not 100% I want some opinions about my sales and jv page.

    I have three questions for you guys:

    1-The product look good to buy ?

    2-The product look good to promote?

    3-How to improve both pages?


    http://audiovideospinner.com

    http://audiovideospinner.com/jv


    Please explain your arguments to make easy understand your opinion.


    Thanks guys and God bless you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2015
  2. abhi007

    abhi007 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Looks like a good product and should work well with the video marketing crowd :)

    will be interesting to see the video quality :)
     
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  3. eduardo38

    eduardo38 Regular Member

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    Thanks for your opinion, I will place today a video made by the software in the sales page.

     
  4. Nut-Nights

    Nut-Nights Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Your product looks good But your LP needs improvements if you want sales. you need something better design.
     
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  5. Aatrox

    Aatrox Supreme Member

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    I don't know what to say except that it looks like a standard CB product lander.
     
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  6. Professional SEO

    Professional SEO Newbie

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    English looks ok mostly but there are a bunch of little mistakes so I gave up counting. Talk to me next time before you buy. LOL

    1) Footage has not sound because Audio Video Spinner creates the audio ad. ... Should be: Footage has no sound because Audio Video Spinner creates the audio ad.
    2) Audio Video Spinner is capable to produce professional audio ads! ... should be: Audio Video Spinner is capable of producing professional audio ads!
    3)Generic Videos Ready to Uses in The software!... Should be: Generic Videos Ready to Use in The software! or: Generic Videos Are Ready to Use in The software!

    Saw several more little mistakes, but I don't feel like typing them out it would take too much time, nothing so bad. Most people probably wont notice, some native English speakers will.
     
  7. wizard04

    wizard04 Elite Member

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    I agree.
    The fonts are little blurry to my there is not sharpness and also very boring....but this is just me.
     
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  8. Systrix

    Systrix Junior Member

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    looks good ... maybe better design.
     
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  9. Conor

    Conor Elite Member

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    Make your landing page wider. 960px is a good width.
    Organise the resources on your JV page a bit better. You could have an accordion or some tabs or something, so that less scrolling is necessary.
    The list under "Are you offering" is very long. Try make it look nicer, or group your bullets into more generic categories.

    PS: The word you're looking for is critique, not criticize ;)
     
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  10. whynotmakeit

    whynotmakeit Power Member

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    No, No, OP is correct. OP knows this is BHW ;-)
     
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  11. Automated

    Automated Regular Member

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    Interesting product. I quickly went through the sales page...

    As for the sales page, I as well saw some grammatical errors. Since English isn't your first language, I would hire another copywriter to make edits to the existing copy.

    As someone else noted above, the page is also a little boring. There are sections as you move down the page with too much text - might overwhelm the reader.
     
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  12. eduardo38

    eduardo38 Regular Member

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    Thanks for advice.

     
  13. eduardo38

    eduardo38 Regular Member

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    Thanks for the advice :)

     
  14. soulcollector

    soulcollector Senior Member

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    Simple is better, you want to keep things easy to read, simplistic, and as clear and concise as possible. The product looks like a scammy spammy page. I favor the Amazon, Apple, and Firefox approach over something where you blast people with a bunch of words to sell them. Us a combination of words and images to help sell them. Video can be added to, but it needs to amplify the need to buy the product.

    I'd give more advice but I have learned you can't fix everything, and this is one of them can't fix unless I invest a lot of my time and brain into it.
     
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  15. eduardo38

    eduardo38 Regular Member

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    Can you give some advice about how to amplify the need to buy the product?

    Thanks

     
  16. The Nix

    The Nix Power Member

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    Terribly boring copy.

    No one's going to read through those monotonous blocks of text and rave about your product.

    I've spotted numerous errors right off the bat, and I honestly didn't even read half of it.

    Honestly, I don't see how anyone would want to read through all of that.

    It has grammar errors, sentence flow/structure hiccups, and it generally lacks that sales punch you need for a product of this nature.

    I'm guessing whoever wrote that has little to no experience in writing sales copy.

    I'm afraid that whatever your expectations were for this product, wouldn't come into fruition if you stick with this current copy.

    I can help you if you want. Just shoot me a PM if you're interested.
     
  17. eduardo38

    eduardo38 Regular Member

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    Sorry I am not looking for other copywriting service but only for a few advice about how to improve my current sales page.

     
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  18. eduardo38

    eduardo38 Regular Member

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    Thanks guys for your advices, I will start to implement it.