Can a copy writer critique my sales letter?

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by Bluedanger, Jun 24, 2016.

  1. Bluedanger

    Bluedanger Junior Member

    Jun 18, 2016
    Likes Received:
    I dont think I am allowed to post my site here so I will paste it here.

    I am trying to sell a product used to catch a cheating spouse in 30 seconds with a tool I have developed.

    I am hoping someone can critique it so I can improve it:


    Get The Proof You Need Now!

    Extract saved user names, passwords, history, search keywords, and autofill content instantly! Buy NOW! Click ME!

    No Need To install Any Software!
    Run Straight From USB! No Need To Install ANY Software On Suspect Machine! See DEMO! Click ME!

    Compatible With Windows 7/8/10
    32-bit and 64-bit Versions Available! Recover Passwords Quickly and Instantly! Questions? Click ME!

    How To Catch A Cheating Spouse In 30 Seconds!

    There is nothing worse than that gut nagging feeling that your partner is cheating on you.

    What’s worse is that feeling you can’t trust them, the constant suspicion, and the feelings of betrayal eating you alive. Do you notice patterns of your spouse such as going out more often, a change in their appearance, guarding their cell phone, less intimacy, and frequent arguments?

    Confronting your partner without proof will only make you seem ‘jealous’ or ‘over-reactive’ to your spouse and gives your partner the upper hand. You wouldn’t go to a fight without a weapon would you?

    My name is David Enos and I have been working in the Digital Forensics and Intelligence field for more than 5 years and sadly, I caught my spouse cheating on me and I know how it feels and no one should go through the uncertainty, frustration, anger, and hurt.

    I have developed a tool that you place on a USB Flash Drive, plug it into your spouse’s computer and run the tool, and in under 30 seconds pull back the saved usernames, passwords, history, keyword searches and autofill information that can be analyzed from a another computer later.

    The Google Chrome Forensics Tool has been used by Law Enforcement and Cyber Security Experts to Get Proof of a suspect’s illegal behavior.

    • Instantly extract History, Passwords, Autofill, And Key Word Searches
    • Runs Straight From USB!
    • No Need To Install Software On Target PC So No Traces Are Left On PC!
    • Get The Proof You Need Right Now!
    • Compatible With Windows 7/8/10
    • 100% 30 Day Money Back Guarantee!
    You Can Choose To Keep Feeling Suspicious,

    Or You Can Choose To Get The Facts NOW!

    Press The Buy Now Button Below To Pay With PayPal And Instantly Download The Tool!

    Buy now button here