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Can a copy writer critique my sales letter?

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by Bluedanger, Jun 24, 2016.

  1. Bluedanger

    Bluedanger Junior Member

    Joined:
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    I dont think I am allowed to post my site here so I will paste it here.

    I am trying to sell a product used to catch a cheating spouse in 30 seconds with a tool I have developed.

    I am hoping someone can critique it so I can improve it:


    [​IMG]

    Get The Proof You Need Now!


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    How To Catch A Cheating Spouse In 30 Seconds!

    There is nothing worse than that gut nagging feeling that your partner is cheating on you.

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    My name is David Enos and I have been working in the Digital Forensics and Intelligence field for more than 5 years and sadly, I caught my spouse cheating on me and I know how it feels and no one should go through the uncertainty, frustration, anger, and hurt.

    I have developed a tool that you place on a USB Flash Drive, plug it into your spouse’s computer and run the tool, and in under 30 seconds pull back the saved usernames, passwords, history, keyword searches and autofill information that can be analyzed from a another computer later.

    The Google Chrome Forensics Tool has been used by Law Enforcement and Cyber Security Experts to Get Proof of a suspect’s illegal behavior.

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    Buy now button here