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Blonde joke...and others

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by themagician, Jan 8, 2009.

  1. themagician

    themagician Regular Member

    Mar 25, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Brit in Thailand
    Blond joke

    A blind man wanders into an all-girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and
    orders some coffee.

    After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him
    says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you
    should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde with a black belt in karate.
    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

    The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... not if I'm gonna have to
    explain it five times."



    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
    her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

    And then the fight started....

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
    reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her
    drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
    I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
    those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

    Says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
    celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started...

    A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
    "You know what?" says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started Swearing."
    The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
    "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"
    "Ok" the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm
    The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
    "Oh, sh*t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops"
    WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
    She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

    "I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be f**king Coco Pops"