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BHW is making my wife divorce me

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by etern1ty, May 14, 2011.

  1. etern1ty

    etern1ty Registered Member

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    No joke, just had a major fight with the wife ending with her slapping me in the face. She says I spend wayyy too much time on the computer, I don't give her enough attention blah blah blah. Been with this chick for over 9 years and married for just a little over 1 year. Go figure that our relationship is ending in failure after marrying all because of money.

    She just don't get it that we are broke, in debt, and i'm just trying to find my way to financial success and freedom so we can stop fighting about the thing that has clearly ripped out relationship apart. Am i so wrong for spending so much time on the computer trying to find a way out for us?

    she claims that I blame everything on money but dude if i'm worried about rent every day, paying it, then of course i'm going to work my ass off. here's the kicker, she gets 1200/mo from social security, gets to enjoy riding her horse which costs $400+/mo for boarding, drives a brand new truck that costs another $400, then blows the rest on gas and food while I pay upwards of $5k/mo in bills for rent, utils, business (i run an IT consulting company that has sloooowwwwed badly the last few months), and debts i'm trying desperately to get rid of. She is soo spoiled and yet she blames me for spending so much time on the computer. Once again, am I wrong here?

    I don't know what the fuck to do....
     
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  2. Patel

    Patel Senior Member

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    Ditch the broad, enjoy financial success yourself, afterwards she will regret it. If you still love her when your rich, take her back.
     
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  3. WizGizmo

    WizGizmo Super Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

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    Well . . . you can always find another wife, but there is only ONE BHW! :D

    Cheers! - "Wiz"
     
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  4. Enigma32

    Enigma32 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Unfortunately you just spelled out the problem... She's getting a free ride and thus has no concept of money (if she did, she doesn't anymore) and doesn't understand that you are busting your ass to make ends meet nor why you are doing so.
     
  5. lightning.god.zeus

    lightning.god.zeus Junior Member

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    Just find a way to balance both man. I don't think you should give up on your wife,
    but she has to understand that you have to put food on the table.
    And if browsing forums and internet marketing is the way you do it,
    then she has to understand that.
     
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  6. etern1ty

    etern1ty Registered Member

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    You're right man...she is spoiled like you wouldn't believe. I think I've got no more selfless love for her if she's going to complain that I don't give her attention "at least 30 minutes" every day. she doesn't cook, she doesn't contribute to household expenses, she doesn't have a REAL JOB. it's been like this since day one that we've lived together for 5 years. I feel really stupid for letting her take advantage of me like this
     
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  7. etern1ty

    etern1ty Registered Member

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    I've tried to balance things. Believe me, I have tried. I just seems unbalanced because I will spend maybe 3 days in a row working 20 hours a day, all day, all night reading reading reading these forums like crazy, then I will take her and my best buddy out to an Angel ballgame one evening, then I would work another 2 days in a row, no breaks. I guess women just view money differently, yet they manage to buy all kinds of shit. I'm like the sugar daddies behind the scenes with these spoiled high maintenance women that are able to get buy with the fancy cars, clothes, and meaningless crap while I'm actually trying to tackle DEBT, MAKE MONEY, and SAVE MONEY.
     
  8. bigg_capp

    bigg_capp Regular Member

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    Women don't know what they really want, and they will never be satisfied. My girlfriend complains I'm on the computer too much, and then she complains that we aren't rich. I told her you can't have both. If she's going to be mad, I figure at least I'm going to be rich - so the computer and money always win.

    Money controls everything all the time - Kevin O'leary (Shark tank)

    Since you have only been married for 1 year, put your foot down and tell her to stop spending so much money and take some pressure of yourself. Short term you have to relieve the pressure and stop the bleeding. If she loves you then she will help you. If you have to get another job, then do that.

    I.M. is 10X harder when you have to make money. It's like gambling when you have to win. Scared money don't make money. You need to do IM with no pressure and a little silly money for experimentation. Those are the best conditions for incubating your projects.

    If she really loves you, she will stand by you. If she doesn't cut your loses now...unless you have kids.

    ......and most importantly and sometimes overstated - TAKE ACTION, don't just read and study.

    Either way Good Luck!
    -Capp
     
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  9. etern1ty

    etern1ty Registered Member

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    Looks like that is the only option.

    UPDATE: She has stated that she will be moving out next week, she's already made the arrangements with her mother. hmmm, sounds pre-planned to me.
     
  10. Mokodoki

    Mokodoki Regular Member

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    Sometimes you just naturally drift away during a relationship, and the time spend away (whether at a 9-5 job or IM) can greater the divide. The world runs on money and relationships run on emotions--the two aren't always compatible! Some people can live with the sacrifices they have to make to maintain a certain lifestyle, while others want everything handed to them freely. Sometimes it takes some strain on a relationship to find out which type of person your significant other is.
     
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    Last edited: May 14, 2011
  11. Randy569

    Randy569 Junior Member

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    Certainly sounds like it to me.
     
  12. Nick Flame

    Nick Flame Executive VIP Premium Member

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    I find it lame when people come bitching on bhw about their personal problems. You are not even looking for advice, you just want other people to confirm what a bitch your wife is.

    If you spend time on bhw posting about your personal life, and not doing business - like you claim you would like to do - then maybe she has a point.
     
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  13. jamesaw

    jamesaw Registered Member

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    I would drop her like a bad habit. It's women like her where the "Ball and Chain" label came from....
     
  14. cash202

    cash202 Elite Member Premium Member

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    I have a serious suggestion for you. Get another 5 grand, grab your wife
    and see a psych or a couple counselor. Emotional issues and personal
    problems should never interfere with the business. Blaming each other
    and circumstances isn't going to help.

    P.S. I eat my own dog shit. I've been to the NLP psych and sorted my
    emotional issues once and for all in two sessions for 5 grand fee.
    It is amazing how effective and productive I become.
     
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  15. lovelypotatoe

    lovelypotatoe Newbie

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    Wow, that's how a man and a woman go on the "run out of $" way???
     
  16. KenB1

    KenB1 Junior Member

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    Atleast you dont have appendicitis.
     
  17. dheer

    dheer Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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  18. no4ck

    no4ck Registered Member

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    I've had a relationship sort of like that with my ex-fiance.. trust me, I know your pain. We built up the debt (cars, toys and credit) and then split because I spent to much time on the computer working.

    What I have learned is that you really need to balance. Don't spend 20 hours straight... first off, your mind has no time to focus on one thing when you're reading everything. Second, your wife or significant other feels ignored.

    Work during the day... 9-5 (with a lunch that you spend with her for an hour. Then hang out from 5-9 with her.. do whatever she wants. Then hustle again from 9-3.

    Get in a routine to where she can expect to spend time with you atleast SOME time during the day.
     
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  19. lucaslee

    lucaslee Junior Member

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    It happens to me initially but what I did was to show her exactly how I am making or planning to make money online... And I will always Celebrate with her when I have the results.. And guess what she is now doing her own IM and other money making stuff via online.. Instead of just fighting with her and arguing, simply show her ..
     
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  20. ramtripper

    ramtripper BANNED BANNED

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    Thats what i tell people too when im trying to help!


    Yea man, if it's preplanned... take a look at some other things. Maybe shes been doing other things - other than talking to her mom about moving out.
    Why is she on social security already? are u guys 65?

    Ehh... either way, im sure it hurts, but if shes the one for u, eveyrhting will turn out fine, if not, then good riddance, money saved ur heart in the long run.