At a loss of words

Hey guys,

I am having difficulty in formation of sentences when I speak. Am unable to speak continiously.

I used to run a hosting company, with 14 people working under me. About a year and a half ago, one fine morning I decided to sell the company, and completed the sale in less than 10 days. Since then I have been sitting at home doing IM. I rarely go out. My wife does the shopping, and I don't have many friends anyways. And I just realized that the only person that I have been talking to is my wife, and not many others in the past 17 months.

I chat well, i blog well and if you think this post's standards are ok, i write well too. But I am unable to speak properly. I repeat the same word over and over in the a sentence, and at times I am at loss of words and I leave awkward pauses while talking.

Should I see a doc? Or should I talk to more people? My problem is that I don't know a lot of people who are into internet marketing and stuff, so there is almost nothing that I have in common with the people of this town where I live.

Could this be a unique problem? Or is anyone else facing similar issues?

i think if you can't talk you should probably not be asking bhw but be asking a doctor. the psychological kind probably.

I wish you luck in what you are going through. What ForeverNever is right.

Go to a doctor.

Get well.

I suppose if you spend a lot of time on the computer without having the need to go out and interact with others then your social skills will go down.

if you dont use it you lose it?

You must have another interest beside internet marketing, join a local club or something for it, find some organised activity you can take part in.

Working in a real store can help you give some confidence/something to talk about since you know what to talk about, the products that are in the store, so you could offer to work at a local charity shop or something simillar.

Just get out and do something and if you are struggling something organized will help.

Are you linking the selling of your company to the onset of the problem? you probably should go to see a doctor of some description, however you seem sane enough and you seem to know exactly whats wrong. All you have to do is find a way to fix it, I think you are smart enough to figure it out.

Maybe you should start up a smaller version of your host just to have an outside interest. One of the things I get accused of is over use of the computer, and its true, but Ive accepted I am addicted and to be quite honest I'm happy with it, I have to make an effort to join in with stuff going on outside of what interests me. I find it difficult but make the effort to do it.

Try and set a couple of hours aside to do non IM related stuff where you have to interact with people like the gym or take up a sport (golf is good)

Just think it through and I'm sure you will find a way through it. Good luck and if you need to talk it through PM me any time.

Just goto a bar.... You can interact at your discretion yet some minimal interaction is needed..... Not too much to think about when your just ordering a beer

Turn on your TV while you work and tune in to MSNBC, listen how they speak and get subconsciously educated about the world of finance ... then turn to a news channel to learn a bit about whats going on outside your house and you will have enough material to keep up in a conversation.

Also open your mouth when you speak (nah seriously.. some people talk with their mouth partially closed which makes them hard to understand), pause yourself and don't try to shove 20 things in 20 seconds during a conversation, you are not racing against anyone when you speak.

Go out and pick up a part time retail job. Just so you can interact with others and socialize a little bit. A couple days a week. Especially with the holidays coming people will start looking for help just for the holidays.

This is a classic sign of coder burn-out.
The guys who used to work on the kind of puters you cant shut off were at it 25/8
and of course were classically introverted ( like you ) and were not really "anti" social
but did not participate alot in social environments. I know this because I am the same way. However, I am much more LAZY than you ...and I like to go out to nightclubs and have a friend or two. I know and talk to a lot of people ...but I'd rather not!!!

I did notice a lot of my thinking patterns in the past few years change.
But hey ...out values always change ...ok back to your case.

I would definitely want to seek the assistance of a NEUROLOGIST
There may be a damaged pituitary or some other thing from the way you sit
that is causing your auditory motor skills to fade

there may be an onset of ,,,uh... several other conditions which may be
very treatable, very manageable RIGHT NOW ...

Or... maybe just like a singer who does not sing for a while
or like a body builder who goes flab

...use it or lose it.

Ot maybe you are still thinking about the internet ( takes great train of thought ...hence the early coders buring out ) when trying to compose
your sentences.

If you are not dlayed in sentence composition when typing, you're probably
not too bad off ... but get a referral to a neurologist !!!!

Uh... you might want to TYPE all your history/symptoms for them. Might be faster.
( Not tryin to be a wise-ass )

OP honestly im starting to see a decline myself (since I started internet marketing). I dont go out that much maybe twice a month tops. I dont have a lot of friends where im at either. When i go to the mall in a big city im starting to feel uncomfortable. I think it might be agoraphobia setting in. To remedy this Im starting to go out more and more. A night out getting drunk at a bar helps a lot IMO. I dont want to decline any further. Even when I go out to ride my bike (20 miles) its usually in solitude. I have always been the life of the party. Now I dont know what is slipping but Im going to change my routine so that I dont find myself deeper than I have become. I suggest you do the same thing. Host poker parties or attend similar. Throw a Halloween bash and invite the neighbors. If you still find yourself having trouble with words. I would suggest reading out loud to yourself. Then if all else fails and you still have problems with it. Go to the doctor.

Hope all gets better for you.

You don't have any serious problem other than just not being used to talking to other people. If you have nothing to talk about- check out the latest news online, watch your local news, sports, etc. Talk to people... anyone. If the person looks approachable they aren't going to tell you to fuck off.

The bar is a good place to go. People are easy going when they have alcohol in their system.

I balance the internet with the outside world. I'm often out with my girlfriend four days out of the week. I talk on the phone regularly with friends back "home" and chat with people on stickam to pass time and have fun.

Good to know im not the only one. Used to be a big partier, now i dont really care to talk with people, and I really dont know what to start a conversation about. Thing is I have no interest in drinking or anything any more.

Thanks guys, for all your replies.

i think if you can't talk you should probably not be asking bhw but be asking a doctor. the psychological kind probably.

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@ForeverNever: Only people in IM can understand my problem. And thats why I asked the question on BHW and not on Yahoo Answers

had a similar problem.

talking to other people has help me gain confidence in myself.

the more i socialize the more i'm able to talk fluently without having to pause.

Come to summits and events in which you can meet other IM'ers. Start slow - E.g. talk to the other hosting companies (a field you already know about) and then move on to others. You'll soon be picking up the 'normality' of talking with other human beings

Sounds good you sold your company at its peak last year

MrSmith said:

Come to summits and events in which you can meet other IM'ers. Start slow - E.g. talk to the other hosting companies (a field you already know about) and then move on to others. You'll soon be picking up the 'normality' of talking with other human beings

Sounds good you sold your company at its peak last year

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yea im glad that i took the right decision at that time

silentthunder said:

Ok, first cut down on the weed and then........

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i don't smoke weed.

Don't wish to worry you but you must see a doctor right away. You must get a CAT or MRI immediately.
I don't remember seeing how old you are. 21 years ago one of my friends (aged 39 at the time) who ran a huge engineering company started out like this. He left it too long to investigate.
Better to be safe than sorry.