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Are you Stress??? This might Help. :D This KID Rocks!!!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by keytenx, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    These are actual answers on a McDonald's application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid's gonna go far...

    Name: Greg Bulmash

    Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person

    Desired Position: Compnay's President or VP. But seriously whatevers available. If i was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

    Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    Education: yes

    Last Position: Target for middle management hostility

    Salary: Less than im worth

    Most Notable Achievement: my incredible collection of pens and post it notes

    Reason for leaving: It sucked.

    Hours Available to Work: Any

    Preferred hours: 1:30 -3:30 PM. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday

    Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment

    May we contact your current employer?: If i had one, would i be here?

    Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs?: of what?

    Do you have a Car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    Have you received any special awards or recognition?:
    I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

    Do you smoke?: On the job, NO. on my breaks yes!

    What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabolously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks i'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, i'd like to be doing that now.

    Do you Certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge? Yes. Absolutely

    Sign Here: Aries
     
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    Last edited: Nov 24, 2011
  2. ContentCreation

    ContentCreation BANNED BANNED

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    hahaha! That's awesome!
     
  3. zerocoolflo

    zerocoolflo Regular Member

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    What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabolously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks i'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, i'd like to be doing that now. WORD !
     
  4. primitip

    primitip Newbie

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    lol! wonder why they hire him anyway...
     
  5. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    YES, I know I'm bumping an old thread!!!! :welcome:
    But it's funny so I feel like bumping it. LOL
    ==================================

    It actually isn't from a real job application though. It was actually a parody resume written by Greg Bulmash and posted on his blog back in 1997. Variations like the OP posted have been circulating as a true story ever since.
    Here is the original blog post if anyone cares. http://www.bulmash.com/04-10-97.html
     
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  6. nicdsgn

    nicdsgn Junior Member

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    That's funny hahahaha
     
  7. Magic5

    Magic5 BANNED BANNED

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    Hah thats great reminds me of someone i know that wrote rocket scientist on a cafe job application once and got the job.
     
  8. aka sam

    aka sam Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Funny... even after almost 3 years of posting...
     
  9. madoctopus

    madoctopus Supreme Member

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    Sign here: Aries

    ROFL!!! Epic