1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Are you a “true” Internet marketer?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by The Scarlet Pimp, Mar 28, 2009.

  1. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    3,120
    Occupation:
    Chair moistener.
    Location:
    Cyberspace
    Funny article! :D

    1. You?re a caffeine addict. You drink 5-20 caffeine-filled beverages per day, sometimes more. Not only do you consume an insanely unhealthy number of sodas, coffees and teas - but you also leave evidence of it all around your desk and work area. Your trash cans are heaping and overloaded with soda cans.

    You know it?s serious when soda cans topple out and fall out of it every time you move your chair. Or, when you end up in the hospital because your stomach has bloated out like a pregnant woman or child with dysentery because you?ve had too many poison-filled processed diet sodas.

    2. You eat meals at your computer. It?s too much of a hassle for you to actually eat a meal at a table or on the couch - so you eat at your computer desk, or in front of the computer. Or, like the incredible JK Swopes, you eat at your computer, while working and video taping yourself for your weekly roundups and updates for readers. Then you show your readers what you are eating, whiling giving them web site updates. I think it is hilarious - but it means that you are working a little too much!

    3. You wake up at least two times per night to check your e-mail from your phone. It is true. I started doing this several months ago. Randomly, I would wake up in the middle of the night to read e-mails and blog posts that were interesting. It is a strange and unhealthy habit to get into.

    4. You dream about HTML and Web sites. Yes this is odd. I have actually had dreams about designing sites and about PHP and HTML code.

    5. You have NO social life. Your life has become virtual. You are a computer person and live inside and within the realms of the powerful world wide web. You socialize online, with friends on their blogs, but have very few real life friends. If you do have the real human friends - you don?t spend too much time with them because most of your precious time is spent in the virtual world.

    6. You Go Crazy if Your Internet Connection is Down for even a Minute. If you ever, by some horrible tragedy, experience an Internet Connection failure or connectivity problem: you absolutely break down or go nuts. You get upset or cannot handle the situation and order the Internet Service Provider to fix the problem Immediately. It becomes almost a life and death situation - you feel so strongly that you need it on at all times.

    7. Your Internet Life Affects the Kids. When your 3-year-old child starts typing away on the computer next to yours, talks about ebay and Google - you know you need to take a rest from Internet Marketing. When your toddler tells you that he can?t play because he has to finish his computer work - there?s a problem! So, a suggestion is to try to separate your work time from you family time. It is tough but very important to keeping a balanced life - for family and for work.

    8. Personal Hygiene at the Desk. For the ladies, the desk is not the place to be doing your nails, putting on makeup or plucking your eyebrows. I?ve done it myself. For the men, shaving is something to be done inside the bathroom - not at the desk. Do guys do that?

    9. You have pain in your knees, legs or hands. This occurs when you sit for too long in front of a computer. I have a habit of sitting with my legs crossed and I experience a lot of knee pain as a result. I sometimes have severe pain in my hands and one can also strain the eyes. Overall, it?s important to get off your butt and take a walk when you?ve been inside for too long or working too much.

    10. You Wake Up at 3 or 4 AM regularly. This odd habit can lead to extreme exhaustion, anger and bad moods. But, for those who work from home, and still hold ?normal? jobs or have families to care for - it might be one of your only options to have peace and quiet to allow you to work.
     
  2. showbizvet

    showbizvet Power Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    795
    Likes Received:
    260
    Occupation:
    IM
    Location:
    Tennessee and around
    Yep.. can relate.. I'm wearing a wrist brace as I type this... and IF I wake up in the middle of the night (assuming I went to sleep to begin with), the computers beckons... you have mail (of course it's probably spam)..

    But wait... someone has skyped me... "Who can it be?"... Damn... some E-whore, probably from right here on BHW
     
  3. leonidt

    leonidt Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2008
    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    210
    Yes.
    I sometimes bring my laptop to the kitchen with me. I don't own a desktop.

    I sleep during the day and stay up at night, but no, when I sleep, I don't wake up.
    No.
    No.
    No.

    I don't have kids. I'm single.

    No.
    No.

    No.

    That's like 1.5/10. I hope this wasn't some kind of test. :rolleyes:
     
  4. Gwendoleea

    Gwendoleea Junior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2008
    Messages:
    121
    Likes Received:
    183
    Occupation:
    Everything! but Mom first.
    Location:
    Inside the Matrix
    Holy crap?! someone has been watching me!

    Tea & diet dr.pep all day.

    Lost my internet 2 times last year and felt like the world was going to end - Had to run to the coffee house to use their signal.

    I sleep next to my laptop on the bed and have to check email and usually bhw when i wake.. which about 3-5 times a nite cuz i really don't want to be asleep in the 1st place...

    My son now tells ME to "just google it" and is bugging me to install a macro program so he can bypass things n go faster!

    That and I eat here with one hand while mousing with the other and I think I'm getting CPS in my right wrist!

    :pcguru:

    Holy hell. the whole thing sounds like me.. how funny.. err, or is is how sad? Oh well.. I like it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2009
  5. gun-shy315

    gun-shy315 Regular Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2008
    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    143
    Occupation:
    Internet Marketer. Part Time-Lion tamer and pole d
    Location:
    Syracuse NY
    Funny post. I can identify. I'm ALWAYS up at 3 or 4 AM. Like a previous poster said "I sleep in the day." I dream about outsourcing and all my outsourcers "F" everything up and kill my cash flow. Then I kill them and go to jail for life...just kidding folks...really...seriously...I mean it :D