Anyone read The Oatmeal?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Nigel Farage, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. Nigel Farage

    Nigel Farage BANNED BANNED

    Feb 8, 2012
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    It's Spaceman Spliff here, reporting to you from approximately 320 miles above the earth. We are in a geo-synchronous orbit and are monitoring Matt Cutts home right now with various, extremely high-tech surveillance equipment.

    We've got experimental thought-readers, and are beta-testing some protoype thought implantation software and have a live feed to his Cerebellum via a transponder/transmitter made to look like part of a hanging lamp. This is extremely high-tech stuff; it even has a laser range finder and 3600 dpi thermal imaging sensor.

    This is TRULY blackhat stuff here. So classified they'll kill you if you breathe a word of it to anyone. It's just between us, and I'm only telling you this because I've got an income-earning method that will blow the roof off of Matt Cutt's house, literally. We've decided to stop fighting him via proxy on the internet and instead have decided to teach him who his Master is, and it obviously ain't Jesus cause Jesus ain't much of a pirate, what-with teach all that love stuff.

    And Matt Cutt's first lesson is a lesson in MANNERS. Obviously he's underestimated the power of the dark side. The Force is WEAK in this one. Our electromagnetic profile indicates he has a 60% chance of selling-out to the Chinese. Literally. The Chinese purchase Google. How would all you Ron Paul style, "independent" intermet marketers enjoy dancing to China's Jiggy Beats?

    <Jiggy Beats, a cool refreshing salvo of a atomic liquid energy, sends you back into the game before it's even done with you. Now go get 'em.>

    I'd like to take a moment and say thank-you to our Sponsers, particularly the wonderful folks at Jiggy Beats Beverage Company, and their new partners, the Nuclear Industry Lobby. Good luck with that Joint Venture!

    And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

    (He's so dumb he thinks the glitteratzi and the illuminati are the same thing.)

    Okay so who has seen that commercial where the brain surgeon doesn't have time to go shopping for airline tickets, so while manipulating parts of his patients brain (who is in surgery, in a gown and a breathing tube) he makes the unconcious patient type into a laptop that is on his lap. Hilarious. I'm going to see if I can find it.
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2012