No, I'm not ranting here. But do anyone have a heart filled with hatred? I used to be a happy person - always optimistic about things. When I experienced my first panic attack at the age of 7, I started to become different - I lived in fear everyday. I developed panic disorder. My dad invested in the stock market and the bubble burst happened - our family from a middle-income family became poor-middle income-level. I do not know why, I've never offended anyone in my life but I'm treated like crap, despised, outcasted, rejected, neglected by relatives and other people. During the age of 9 or so, I had a puppy love. But because my grades wasn't good, I was pushed to the lower academic level. The girl never made any eye-contact with me since... she always gave that despised look at me whenever we bump into each other. My relatives look down on me and see me as a worthless, good-for-nothing human being. My self-esteen deteriorated and I started to experienc severe panic attacks. Till this day I'm still a virgin and have never dated a girl. Then when I entered college, I fell in love with this girl. I tried so hard to win her but she always hang out with arseholes instead. During valentine's day I brought her roses and chocolates but she rejected them. I felt so humiliated and ashamed that I hated myself a lot. That happpened on 2007. That is when the child within has died and the man is born. On 2008, I decided everything needs to be changed... I wrote a list of goals and swore to succeed in life no matter what. I've succeeded a few minor goals like overcoming my panic attacks and now I'm focusing on financial success. I just feel so pissed about it that everyday I swore to get back at them and succeed to show them back. Sorry for being a bitch here. Just that, I feel so pissed off... although these matters are years ago, it still pisses me off. I felt like going on rage and killing them all, but I calm myself and focus on succeeding instead. I mean, those shit keep falling on me when I'm trying to get up - I fell deeper and deeper. But nah, I'm immune to those shits now.. I don't give a damn and I'm always focusing on my goals instead. Once i've become a successful entrepreneur and investor, I will defintely write a biography of my life. Anyone else have a heart filled with hatred?