January 31, 2009. The day I registered for BlackHatWorld. The day I started to lose it. Everyday I would wake up in a cold sweat, fearing one day, I too may become what everyone else was. A 9-5 slave to someone else. Have I been here so long, that even my own mind is not the sanctuary it once was? Where did I go wrong? What has this place done to me? What cataclysmic error in the very fabric of space and time brought me here? ...No matter. Existential questioning of the universe and my role in it will get me nowhere. I know that one day, one day they'll see. They'll all see... ### July 17, 2009 [INTRODUCTION] ### This is my first foray into the world of tracking my daily progress as an Internet Marketer. If I'm even allowed to refer to myself as that. I've been unemployed for about a week now. The days, alone with my Grandmother...have been...quiet. I usually wake up around 10:00 AM, and head straight for the computer. The computer, soon to be my automated money machine, sits in my room for now. I carried it home from a store known as "Pass It On", a community like chain that deals with recycling one object from someone, to another. For a small fee of course. You could call it the "Salvation Army", of my small home town. Trying not to spill my Rice Krispies cereal on my keyboard each morning, all that is heard in the dead of sunrise is my mouse wheel as I scroll the BHW forums. Another motivation story, another newcomer banned, another e-book for download. There all the same. Why can't I...I...why can't I be apart of it all. Am I too lazy? Am I not smart enough? I don't understand. It's all going to change. It has to. I'm sick and tired of not making any money. I log in to my Wotogepa account (affiliate network of PPC Coach), and stare at my current balance, hoping to one day check it, and it be something other than $0.00. It's fairly difficult to work from my room, with my Grandmother constantly bickering at me to pick up my laundry, or to do the dishes, sometimes I want to punch her. The only way to ever redeem myself from being "that lazy kid", is to start stacking checks on my Grandma's kitchen table. That will show her. That will show them all. ### July 17, 2009 [TECHNICAL SKILLS] ### Enough of the emo nonsense. I've been glancing at the other members journals, and they seem to document what skills they possess, before setting out on their journey. I guess I too can do more of the same. I'm not an Internet Elite, nor am I an Internet Retard. I would like to think on a scale between the two, that I lie more towards the Elite, but in reality, I probably don't. I know HTML5 and CSS3, and frequent forums on the subject, as well as the EFnet and Freenode IRC rooms of each. I've dabbled in Ruby and PHP, but never really made anything worth boasting about. I started learning AutoIt v3, but quickly gave up (what's new, right?), but will have to get back into that mindset (of coding in AutoIt v3, not giving up). I used to be into GFX Battles, back when SCU was in full swing (SCU = Samus.CO.UK, a website I was banned from [tehe, first banishment]), which added Photoshop to my skillset. I changed my grades back in HighSchool, using BackTrack and a Windows 2000 Exploit, netting me access to the GradeSpeed account (GradeSpeed was their grading software, they now use something else). I created a Yagi Antenna from a Pringles can, to leech off of my neighbors Internet, but my cats knocked it off, so that's a thing of the past. I'm rambling, so I'll move on to the next thing. ### July 17, 2009 [PAST EXPERIENCES] ### I would love to say I'm new to Internet Marketing, but the sad fact is...I'm not, and I'm still not making more than a couple dollars a year. I used to Cookie Stuff eBay Auctions, using a script from Jasper (I coded DIM's FireFly v3's GUI), and made about $400 a month, for two consecutive months. It was amazing, but I lost sight of that, don't know what really happened. I then joined PPC-Coach, where I used PPC Marketing to drive traffic to poll type sites, where a question would be asked, and depending if you answered "Yes", or "No", it would take the user to a CPA offer. Awesome I suppose, all it did was drain my bank account. I also tried a myriad of BHW methods, from that E-Card Method, to creating my own CPA Network, all of DIM's methods, and more. They all failed, because I failed. I didn't see them through, they could have been money makers from the start, had I nurtured them into something greater. Enough of the past, let's get this thing going! ### July 17, 2009 [LOOKING FORWARD] ### If you managed to read all of that (well, it looks like alot to me, I'm working from a 800x600 resolution), then I congratulate you! I really have yet to formulate a plan to as what I'm going to do with this journal of mine. It all seemed like a good idea when I started writing (which was about 30min ago), but now it's seems stupid. No matter, I shall keep pressing onward. I'll begin writing my next post right away, I think I've done enough writing for today, I'm tired of writing. I feel sorry for bloggers. Tomorrow's post should detail what I plan to do, which method I choose to carry out, as I detail every little aspect of it.