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About Email Scams

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by randy69, Apr 10, 2011.

  1. randy69

    randy69 Registered Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
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    Occupation:
    Librarian
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    I was unable to send you a bulletin this April Fools Day from Oz. One year it was "decimal time", and I caught some of you out. This is not original, but you may get a laugh out of it

    All comments appreciated.

    My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year ...
    I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about the rat droppings
    in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with
    every envelope that needs sealing.

    Also,
    * I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
    reason.
    * I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl
    (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
    * I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
    the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program ...
    * Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $ 7million
    with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who
    died intestate.
    * I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
    for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
    * I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
    water buffalo on a hot day.
    * Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
    forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
    * Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove
    toilet stains.
    * I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so
    a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
    * I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
    perfume sample and rob me.
    * I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
    for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore
    and Uzbekistan.
    * Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
    African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it
    bites my bum.
    * And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found
    dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
    molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
    * I don't go to the movies anymore because of the hypodermic needles in the
    seats placed there by random strangers wanting to drug me.
    * I am going to court next week because I was charged with failing to stop
    then resisting arrest when a policeman pulled me over because I was certain
    he was a rapist impersonating a cop.
    * If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
    minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm this
    afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to
    grow a hairy hump.
    * I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
    next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
    beautician.

    By the way, a South American scientist after a lengthy study has
    discovered that people with low IQ and who have infrequent sexual
    activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't
    bother taking it off now, it's too late.

    For your own sanity please pass this on to all those parsimonious & gullible
    folk who continue to send you those ridiculous & extreme right-wing
    pseudo charismatic pentecostal semi-religious 'chain-letter' emails with the
    implored plea to continue the exercise. Maybe this email may stop them
    immediately and then we can wait for the wrath of an unseen figure from
    some-where' who will rain upon us all those 7 deadly sins you once were told
    about and maybe read in those pamphlets from those 'white-shirted
    Aussies' over here to 'save the populace'!!!!!!!!!


    Hmmm makes us wonder who actually works or spends time writing
    this crap.lol.....