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A Veteran's Secret Method Revealed

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by The Doctor, Oct 12, 2016.

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  1. The Doctor

    The Doctor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I know a lot of methods to success and when people ask me, I'm glad to share them but there's one thing I've never shared, my secret weapon. Well I think it's time to finally share my biggest secret to success.

    Every time a penny passes through your hands, stick it up your ass and then spend it. It's a long-term strategy. I've been doing this for eleven years now. Everyday for the past eleven years I've stuck thirty dollars in pennies up my ass. I use them for everything. Cab rides, groceries, movie theaters.

    That's a lot of ass pennies I've got out there my friends and here's where the magic comes in. When I meet with someone who intimidates me, who puts me on edge, a real "Hard ass," I just think to myself "They've probably handled my ass pennies." In fact they'd probably have one in their pocket right then. That just sort of seems to give me the upper hand. I mean hey, I haven't touched anything that's been in their ass.

    Now like I said it's a long-term strategy but if you have anything important coming up now, say a meeting, here's what you do. Find out where the person you're meeting with likes to eat. Go to the bank and get yourself fifty dollars in pennies. Stick them all up your ass (One at a time of course). You go to the restaurant where the guy eats and buy yourself a nice dinner paying entirely in pennies. Now they'll be using your pennies for the next week at least. The person you're meeting with goes in there to eat, he gets your ass pennies for change. By the time you meet with him you know he's had something in his hand that you've had in your ass. Then you've got the upper hand.

    Now you might be thinking to yourself "I'm better than that." If you think you're better than me, do this... Reach in your pocket right now and pull out your change. See any pennies? I've been sticking 30 dollars in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day. 21,000 pennies a week. 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies, eight times the population of Nebraska. Your pennies were in my ass.

    You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your kids to buy gumballs with. You ALL handle my ass pennies. Oh I laugh at you before you can laugh at me because YOUR pennies have been in MY ass.
     
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    Last edited: Oct 13, 2016
  2. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

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    how about formatting your text, a huge block of text is not going to be read
     
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  3. BassTrackerBoats

    BassTrackerBoats Super Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    tl;dr version - Don't touch pennies.
     
  4. The Doctor

    The Doctor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    happy? got any change?
     
  5. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

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    so basically your saying you are a vending machine? Still can't be bothered to actually read all of it :)
     
  6. Tester2900

    Tester2900 Registered Member

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    You're an idiot, you spent one hour writing this bull****? get a life
     
  7. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

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    i think it's done to provoke, some sort of humour no doubt
     
  8. Steatem

    Steatem Junior Member

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    Assuming you sleep what... 8 hours a day? You would need to be shoving pennies up your ass at a rate of 3.12 pennies per second on average. You would litterally be spending all your awake time with your legs in the air penny in penny out.
    Your a hard worker in my eyes. Keep busy!
     
  9. The Doctor

    The Doctor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Let's see, I type at about 90 words per minute. This was transcribed and a minor edit. Took me less than ten minutes. I'm probably a lot more clever than you and this is the lounge. Frack off.
     
  10. Tester2900

    Tester2900 Registered Member

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    Ok, go masturbate now.
     
  11. BassTrackerBoats

    BassTrackerBoats Super Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    You could have taken a minute or two to format it though as it has caused 14 people to go blind thus far.
     
  12. The Doctor

    The Doctor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    My wife squirts and likes anal. I'm good. You have fun though.

    was edited 1 minute after it was posted.
     
  13. Tester2900

    Tester2900 Registered Member

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    Nobody cares.
     
  14. BassTrackerBoats

    BassTrackerBoats Super Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    I guess I read it too quickly as did those 14.
     
  15. The Doctor

    The Doctor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    obviously some noob tester2900 cares that I ejaculate.
     
  16. BassTrackerBoats

    BassTrackerBoats Super Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Thread closed - the comments have crossed several lines.
     
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