A late New Year's resolution As a long time member I am embarrassed to admit that I've been wasting time doing nothing of value. I've been here for over 4 years now, and I have nothing to show for it. I'm almost 21 and well, I constantly think about how time is running out and the fact that I'm doing fuck all with life. Some may say, if after all this time you're still nowhere then you should probably look elsewhere. IM isn't really the problem, I'm doing fuck all in general. If I was to quit on IM now, I might as well quit on life. The reality is that I have never put any real effort into most of the things I have ever done. Over the past year, as you have probably noticed, I have been doing nothing but posting bullshit in BHW's lounge. I don't know how I got myself into this position but it happened a really long time ago. I think I will spare myself and you guys the main details but it begun like this. A long long long time ago I was a 13 year old kid on the Internet, playing games, browsing forums, doing all sorts of stuff. I'm not sure how it happened, but I seemed to always be in search of a way to make money online. In fact I made money offline when I was 11 doing gardening work, found my own clients through what is now referred to as door to door sales and made in a week what an adult would make on a national minimum wage at the time if not more. I wish I had this confidence now, the door to door sales. Life changes in such a funny way. Going back to the Internet, after browsing and searching and finding out about hosting and cPanel I started of by creating my own hosting company at the age of 14 or something like that. What's better, I had an online partner who I've found through a game called RuneScape. And so together we started this venture by investing some cash but it never really worked out due to us somewhat being scammed. Although we wanted to we never really gave it another go. Nevertheless at the age of 14 I pretty much knew how to use all sorts of hosting control panels, various forums, and I could generally learn things fast. I later found this Indian guy on the Internet who was about to start his very first technology blog and we kind of became online friends, he started his and we just communicated every now and then, this was when I was roughly 15. At 16 after seeing him make money through AdSense I got into blogging too, registered my second domain (first was in 2006, both with NameCheap) and started a technology website which did not look like shit compared to what some people create now. Unfortunately other than the WordPress installation and about 30 posts I didn't lift of much more. Lack of time? Lack of motivation? Who knows. Some time later I found DP, I also found some UK wholesale forums and wanted to get into the selling of branded T-Shirts for which I put money with an actual friend I knew in person but in the end we got a refund as the guy never got the package. I did my due diligence to make sure we wouldn't get scammed. I then found BHW, 2008. I've created this thread to potentially motivate others, that at this point are still nowhere near success, and for myself as a stepping stone into success. By "nowhere near success" I mean you've been on BHW for a while but not really making any money. To be honest, I don't know what my problem really is. Motivation? Depression? I really don't know, I don't really feel depressed. Some things don't work out in life but you just have to move on. Maybe it's life? I never really knew who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I still don't. I don't know if this makes sense but now that I've posted all of this and thought about the past, I think a past event in my early teens may have contributed towards my lack of effort to do anything. Or maybe I'm just being silly, maybe it's just me looking for excuses but who knows. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete loser, I've made money with CPA, YT, and with ClickBank, it wasn't much, it wasn't little, but it was something I would consider pocket/petrol money. Though it didn't seem to give me the motivation to work harder and for more. I worked offline with computers too, that's where I made some more cash. I think one of my problems was that I wanted to make money instantly, hence kept looking for such a way. Throughout my time on BHW if I wasn't a retard I could have networked with many people, I've had people message me, chat with me, I didn't ignore them, it's just that I didn't really reply or start anything with anyone. Not because I don't like working with people but because I generally prefer to work by myself, I'm more of a closed person. I've been waiting ages to post this thread, and I'm finally doing it. I've looked over some of my older posts and you just don't know how shit I feel. All this time wasted, all this time for nothing. I can only imagine what I could have achieved over those last 4 years. I remember posting a thread about needing money back in 2008, but did I really need it? Don't think so. Otherwise I would have not been in the situation I am in now. I had some other good posts, with replies from cool people, one of these was this one: My current feeling is the one of time running out. If you've not been in such a situation you probably don't know what it feels like to realize the amount of time wasted. I kind of feel like I've been stuck at a younger age of doing nothing. But as time ticks and the years go by, you can't help but think, what have I been doing? I seem to always be doing something, but what is it? Over the years, I have learned that only you can truly motivate yourself, or maybe the realization of time running out? It's a short life and I want to make it a worthwhile experience. I'm currently failing at Uni, if I could go back in time, I probably would have chosen a different course or maybe finished education after college. I feel as though Uni is pulling me back from my true abilities. This might sound stupid but although I don't really know where I'm going and what I will be doing, I feel like I know what I need to do, and it feels like at the moment IM is the way forward. I never really liked being told what to do. I kind of think Uni is bullshit for various reasons, not every course, but at least my one, you have to learn what they tell you to learn and the way you get taught, I just don't think it works, I'm better of studying alone with the use of the Internet. Nevertheless I want to complete my Uni degree, don't really care as much as I used to about the final degree, it's more of a I don't give up easily thing. I've still got that domain registered, the one I was going to start my first blog with. It will all be hard work, especially because I need to work towards my Uni degree, but this is a step forward, I've been waiting long enough to take action, I've wasted enough time. This is just the very beginning of a successful journey. I will be planning things out a little, setting short and long term goals, and I will be creating a journal in the journal section to keep in touch and maybe network a little. My advice to you is, to never be scared to ask a question, always ask questions, no question is stupid. Don't give up and follow what you feel is the right path at the current time.