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A Laugh For Ya!! Why did the chicken cross the road?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by panthr, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. panthr

    panthr Newbie

    Dec 28, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
    CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

    JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
    recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
    chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
    chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
    ensure right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
    chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
    he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it
    goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do
    is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
    problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
    why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
    learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going
    to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not
    live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
    just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
    chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
    satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
    we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
    against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
    chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see
    it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
    going I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the
    price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
    truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
    chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
    we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
    media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'.
    That chicken should not be crossing the road It's as plain and as simple as

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
    listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
    of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish a
    lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together
    in peace.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
    roads but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This is
    a new platform much more stable and will never
    ...#@&&^(C%25>;cra...#@&&^(C% - - - reboot

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
    move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
    definition of chicken?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white. We need some black chickens.
  2. catspurley

    catspurley Registered Member

    Feb 28, 2008
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    New York
    That was pretty good. My personal favorites were Falwell and Sharpton.
  3. oscarslater

    oscarslater Regular Member

    Mar 13, 2008
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    nice one......but why make up what George W said, he doesn't know what a chicken is, obviously made up
  4. DeadEyesOpened

    DeadEyesOpened Junior Member

    May 24, 2008
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    Brisbane Australia
    .........because it was stuck on the perverts dick.
  5. Mage

    Mage Junior Member

    Jan 31, 2008
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    Nice one. Had a good laugh at the end.
  6. Guddamit

    Guddamit Newbie

    Apr 11, 2008
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    THE SECRET: The chicken doesn't have to cross the road. all it has to do is visualise crossing the road and the Law of Attraction will bring the other side of the road to him.

    NEIL ARMSTRONG: That's a lot of small steps for a chicken...

    A HEDGEHOG: What's the bet that the chicken aint gonna make it, just like cousin Henry lying flat out in the middle of the road??
  7. MaestroDelWeb

    MaestroDelWeb Senior Member

    Nov 5, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Jack of all trades.
    Ok I have one for you.

    Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

    Because he found out the ref was blowing fouls (fowels). :D
  8. tukhat

    tukhat Registered Member

    Feb 8, 2008
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    Everyday is Holiday
    Because the chicken is so happy that the famous MAGIC JOHNSON want to eat him on the basketball court so the chicken prepare himself to die.
  9. Zon Messenger

    Zon Messenger Newbie Premium Member

    Apr 8, 2008
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    C of U
    SYLVESTER: What Chicken? (licks lips)
  10. loophole

    loophole Registered Member

    Apr 7, 2008
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    JFK: Ask not what the chicken can do for you.. But what you can do for the chicken.
  11. jammie

    jammie Power Member

    Feb 24, 2008
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    heh, these are great! some absolute gems in these!

    keep 'em coming!

    The EH one sums him up in a sentance!