I found this page and thought that others might find it as inspiring as I did. Sorry it is long and am new so couldn't post a link,please Check it out. Yesterday, a reader emailed me this: Ok. I've added you to my "HEROS" list on Twitter because you're absolutely one of the people I've come across that I want to emulate in some form or fashion (sans the dress and overseas love affairs with men). Anyway, I've combed through your blog quite extensively (a literary masterpiece) and I can't seem to really round up your story. I guess, if you have just a moment, I'd love to hear who you are and how you started. Well, I took that suggestion to heart, because I realized that I haven't really told my story in full, because I always try & keep my focus on the reader. But maybe it's time. I hope you can take something from it. And when you're tempted to send me hate mail for publishing such an obnoxiously long post, you've got the guy who sent me that email to thank. While you're at it, you should also probably tell him that overseas love affairs are so worth it. ************************************************************************ OBLIVIOUS When tears silently fell from her cheek upon finding the note from her lover, 3 days before their daughter was born that read: "I'm sorry. I can't do this." ASHAMED When classmates asked me what my daddy did for a living. I lied & told them he was Crocodile Dundee, and had to be in Australia to tame the outback. CONFUSED When we used different money than everyone else to buy bread & milk. BITTER When I was 14 and stood waiting in the hospital for my step dad to come out of the doctor's office. He handed me a phamplet. It read, "Helping Your Family Cope with Terminal Cancer." NOSTALGIC When I would hear Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You" come on the radio after he died, just a few short months later, after tearfully asking me to call him "dad" instead of "Jimmy," like I always had. I got to call him it twice. MORTIFIED When it was just me & my mom after that, and all of the other 15 year olds had basements underneath their houses. We had wheels. FRUSTRATED When my mother's debilitating anxiety & social disorder prevented her from ever coming to watch me play volleyball more than once in 4 years. We were almost state champions. RELIEVED When the founder of Monster.com thought I was worthy enough to be awarded a 4-year, all-expense paid scholarship to a private, liberal arts schoolâ€”room & board included. The scholarship was based on financial need & demonstrated entrepreneurial spirit. My mom cried. GUILTY When I took the scholarship and left her all alone. SADDENED When an unexpected card would arrive with $50 that she didn't have inside, telling me to go buy myself something pretty. ANNOYED When, soon enough, I found myself back in that same hospital waiting room. But this time, it was my mother I was waiting for to come out of the doctor's office. SCARED When I realized the seriousness of the matter. PATIENT When she taught me how to pay all of the bills, as I wrote out check after check from her hospital bedside, as nurses came in and out to take her blood. LIVID When the doctor's arrogant insensivity to her pain one day made her weep. VENGEFUL When I let him have a piece of my 20 year old mind. FRUSTRATED When college friends ragged on me for not going out that weekend to party. RESENTFUL When I couldn't. SHOCKED When I got the phone call while driving to my first day at my internship at a local TV station. DEVASTATED When, by the time I got to our house, the coroner had taken her body & simply left a note on the door. BITTERSWEET When, 4 months later, I walked across the graduation stage & got my college degree, not even bothering to look out into the crowd for a familiar face, knowing there wouldn't be one. INDIFFERENT When I hastily auctioned off all of our things. LOST When I sold our house & moved to Costa Ricaâ€”mostly because I didn't know what else to do. DISTRAUGHT When I loved it there, but still felt the pressing need to "live up to my potential" & become a CEO. HOPEFUL When I flew back to the United States several months later to interview for my first real job. WORRIED When I realized that I didn't have a home to return to. GRATEFUL When the job went so well, I received a promotion to head up marketing efforts. DISHEARTENED When I'd see planes pass by my office window, and longed to be one of the passengers on board. DISAPPOINTED When the realization came that I could only be one of those passengers for up to two weeks a year, from now until the day I retired. DISILLUSIONED When I discovered that my dreams of corporate success were never worthy of my time. DESPAIRED When others told me I was nave, and that I just had to suck it up. LONELY When those same people spent Thanksgiving & Christmas with their families. ARROGANT When I quit my job in 2007 & decided to become a freelance copywriter instead. FOOLISH When I actually thought that spending my time developing corporate communications materials that didn't interest me would be any better. EXCITED When that same year, Escape Artist gave me a contract to write an eBook on visiting Costa Rica. SMART When I realized they didn't have exclusive rights, and I could develop my own site & sell the book there, too. DETERMINED When I laboriously tried to learn HTML. ELATED When I saw my very first sale come through Clickbank. INTRIGUED When I discovered the world of Google Adwords. ADDICTED When it became apparent that you really can make money online. CONFIDENT When I painstakingly slaved over a book proposal to write a non-fiction narrative titled, "The Truth About Mangoes." TORN When I repeatedly received the infamous rejection letter (after rejection letter after rejection letter after rejection letter). DESPERATE When I wasn't making as much money online as I thought I would, and had to borrow money from a boyfriend to pay my $1,000 a month rent. HOPELESS When I caved to pressure & agreed to take a job as an advertising account executive in order to pay the bills. ENCOURAGED When I got contract after contract signed on the spot. UNCERTAIN When, in my heart, I knew I needed more than signatures & commissions. PETRIFIED When, despite that knowledge, I was too scared to make any bold moves, knowing that I had no one in the world to back me up if I failed. INCENSED When I stood by and watched that fear get the best of me. OPTIMISTIC When I returned to school for my master's degree in Linguistics. ANXIOUS When I imagined that my degree would allow me to indefinitely travel the world, and make anywhere I pleased my home. IRRITATED When loan applications were denied without a parent co-signer. STUBBORN When I decided that I would teach English online as a way to make up for it. HEARTBROKEN When, at a time when I was just barely making ends meet with $26 in my checking account, a good friend told me I needed to find a new place to live so her boyfriend could move in. DEFEATED When I had no choice but to go stay with a mysterious new guy I had been seeing. DESTROYED When, a few weeks later, I fought for my life as he tried to strangle me to death, before physically throwing me outside onto the pavement because I had arrived late to the house. HOPELESS When I was alone and scared in the middle of the night with everything I owned and no place to go. ANGUISHED When a friend told me it was my own fault, and that if I had only just played by the rules & had continued to go to work everyday like everyone else, I would have had had a savings & would have never have been in that situation. OBSTINATE When I decided to start The Middle Finger Project in 2008 as a way to find people who GOT IT. Who got ME, and this NEED to seek MORE out of life...despite the consequences. DILIGENT When I taught myself everything I needed to know about blogging via endless Google searches. VALIDATED When my ideas were well-received, and I began to grow an audience. COURAGEOUS When I remembered how good my online success felt in 2007, and decided to learn as much as I could about affiliate marketing. AMAZED When some months I was making > $1000+ as a result. EXHILARATED When I found myself up until the wee hours of the night writing for the blog, which told me I was finally on the right path. DEDICATED When I decided I wanted to make it my full-time gig. INSPIRED When I continued on with TMF, and began plotting & executing some other online projects as well. PEACEFUL When my influence online grew & grew, and I began experiencing wild success. INVIGORATED When I decided to move to Chile, simply because I wanted to, and I can, since I no longer have to be in any one physical location, thanks to the internet. And later, Spain. And later, Costa Rica. And now, back in Chile, plotting my next adventures. HAPPY When I looked around me yesterday, took a sip of my wine, and finally felt like I was doing what I was meant to do, and being what I was meant to be...despite the long road it took to get here. That said, I have a message. For everyone out there thinking to yourself that it's unrealistic, YOU ARE WRONG. For everyone out there shackled by fear, telling yourself that you could lose everything, YOU ARE RIGHT. And for everyone out there that, despite that knowledge, is still willing to risk it by fighting for something more out of this fleeting speck of time we're granted here on earth, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO WILL TRULY SUCCEED. Because at the very least, you know that you did everything you could. Not many people can say the same.