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$100 adwords voucher for the sickest joke.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by jdog37, Feb 16, 2010.

  1. jdog37

    jdog37 Power Member

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    Google sent me a valentine with a $100 voucher for adwords....it is for new accounts only and all that shit.
    I ain't gonna use it but will give it away to the person that posts the sickest joke. I can't promise it will work as it says non-transferable but it don't even have my name on it so go figure that shit.
    The sickest most demented joke will get the coupon code and hopefully it will work for you if you wanna participate.

    The contest will run until Sunday the 28th of Feb....I will pick the winner because I do have a slightly skewed and demented sense of humor.

    The sicker the better but nothing racial because of forum rules.

    Just off the top of my head a couple of examples:

    "What happened when Hellen keller fell down the well?".....she screamed her fucking hands off!

    "Why did the dead baby cross the road?".....cause somebody stapled it to a chicken!

    No videos please and only one or two jokes per post. Don't copy and paste from google either.

    The sickest joke wins and will be announced sometime after the 28th. I will pm the coupon code from adwords to the winner.
     
  2. Clutterbuck

    Clutterbuck Regular Member

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    well there is a british stand up called Jimmy Carr that comes out with some good ones.
    My sig is one.
    Or you could go with something like ...
    "when people talk about saftey in numbers..... try telling that to 6 million jews!"
     
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  3. JuicyBlack

    JuicyBlack Regular Member

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    I don't feel like typing just now so ama gonna let this guy crack u up (check from min 4)

    [youtube]OHZPK9vI5Po[/youtube]​
     
  4. darkmobius

    darkmobius Regular Member

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    i got my vday voucher too but gave it away already lol
     
  5. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    i edited the last one, because it was too sick, so here's another:

    "A biophyl, a sadist, a pyroman, a nekrophyl and a mazochist are talking...
    The biophyl says:
    - If there were a cat, we would fuck it well
    The sadist says:
    - If there were a cat, we would fuck it well and then torture it
    The pyroman says:
    - If there were a cat, we would fuck it well, torture it and then burn it
    The nekrophyl says:
    - If there were a cat, we would fuck it well, torture it, burn it, kill it and then fuck it again
    The mazochist says:
    - Meow"

    P.S. How would you say it in English with one word, the person who loves the fire? maybe this "pyroman" word is not exists in English lol
     
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    Last edited: Feb 16, 2010
  6. JuicyBlack

    JuicyBlack Regular Member

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    a 10yo? .... hold on...... A 10 YO?

    the fuck dude? seriously What the fuck?

    Mods... sorry if my reaction comes accross as rude but seriously ... THE FUCK????!!!
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2010
  7. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    i warned you and your reaction is absolute natural, that was mine as well when i heard it... but that's exactly how i heard from one of my friends, OP wanted the sickest and that's the sickest i ever heard
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2010
  8. jdog37

    jdog37 Power Member

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    @honeybird....sick and demented does not even describe that one. Too bad you ain't in the running cause I'm not sure that one can be topped.
     
  9. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    my thought as well, edited, so feel free to remove your thanks :)
     
  10. chowhan

    chowhan BANNED BANNED

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    Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.

    Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.

    One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament. I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.

    She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret. I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did.

    After negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.

    "Well, what does it mean?", I asked.

    She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."
     
  11. chowhan

    chowhan BANNED BANNED

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    Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands` performance as a lover. The first woman says, "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."
    The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kind of like that."
    The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it`s going to be when I get it."
     
  12. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    i think you won't be too popular with this one, i wrote a similar one at first and i was "forced" to edit it :)
    but probably mine was even sicker...
     
  13. shadowfax

    shadowfax Power Member

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    Heard this long time back.. hope this is sick enough

    Bro and sis are having wild and passionate sex...
    Sis says.."Hey your dick is way bigger than father's"
    Bro replies.. "Yeah mom tells me that all the time.."
     
  14. viralmoney

    viralmoney Junior Member

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    A guy feeling horny walks into a brothel, the madam tells the guy to take a seat in a room and the ladies will introduce themselves soon. So the guy walks in a room and sees a couple of porn mags and a bowl of red tomatoes. So he picks up a skin mag and has a quick flick through when he decides to put it down and try one of the red tomatoes. He takes a bite and thinks to himself, "it's wierd having tomatoes in a brothnel but they are the best tomatoes I have ever tasted". As he is eating the tomatoe a tall, blonde busty worker walks in to introduce herself to him, he looks up and likes what he sees"Hi, I'm John"she looks at him then leaves the room screaming. "wierd" he thinks to himself and continues to eat the red tomatoes. A second worker walks this one a hot latina with a smoken bod "shit, they get better an better" he thinks to himself "Hi I'm ..." before he can finish his sentence she screams like a banshi and runs out of the room. The guy now is a little pissed off and checks himself to see why they are all running off, he finds nothing and continues to eat the red ttomatoes. A third worker walks in a busty, tight bodied firery redhead, the guy looks up and the worker runs screaming out of the room. "this is fucked"he thinks to himself and grabs one more red tomatoe when the madam walks in "what are you doing to my workers?" "nothing" he replies " all I am doing is sitting here eating these red tomatoes and waiting for the womenm to come in and introduce themselves""Red tomatoes ?" the madam syas "they're not red tomatoes, they're last weeks abortions"
     
  15. iShred

    iShred Registered Member

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    i could easily post the most disgusting joke in existence.. but I'd rather not expose everyone at BHW to it.....
     
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  16. KBC-12

    KBC-12 Regular Member

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    Yeah, Same here bro. He did ask for the sickest and I want that voucher but damn, I'm not really tryin to have my name at bhw associated with this one.


    Dude at this aircraft company I used to work for 4 yrs ago told me. Really fucked....


    I Owe you a PM Juicy, look out for it later on today..