My wife and I just had a baby girl. please give me some advice and share your experiences because I feel like I’m going crazy.

hsoulz

hsoulz

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It’s only been one month since our daughter was born. Everything happened so fast — there’s definitely joy and happiness, but the stress is absolutely overwhelming. I’m stressed 24/7 from hearing her cry and fuss non-stop. Some days it feels like this one month has been a whole year already.


I tried buying a pacifier, but she doesn’t like it at all. And when she’s sleeping, the moment I try to lay her down on the bed it’s like the mattress is covered in thorns — she immediately starts squirming, crying, and thrashing. The only way she falls asleep is if I hold her in my arms the whole time.


Please help me… I’m losing my mind

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Congrats! The first couple of months are honestly the hardest. My biggest advice is to take shifts with your wife if you can so each of you gets a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Also don't stress if she only wants to sleep while being held right now, a lot of babies go through that phase. It gets much easier once they settle into a routine, even if it doesn't feel like it today.
 
hsoulz said:
It’s only been one month since our daughter was born. Everything happened so fast — there’s definitely joy and happiness, but the stress is absolutely overwhelming. I’m stressed 24/7 from hearing her cry and fuss non-stop. Some days it feels like this one month has been a whole year already.
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Congratulations!

As for advice,
1. Beware of SIDS - read up on it. Until she turns 1, pay extra attention at night.
2. Make sure to stay in touch with a good doc for her vaccine schedule as well as for tracking her growth progress. This is a must.

Other than that, just relax and enjoy the parenthood. The nights are not going to be same for the first few years but I am sure you will get used to it. :)

hsoulz said:
I tried buying a pacifier, but she doesn’t like it at all. And when she’s sleeping, the moment I try to lay her down on the bed it’s like the mattress is covered in thorns — she immediately starts squirming, crying, and thrashing. The only way she falls asleep is if I hold her in my arms the whole time.
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In our experience, pacifier did not work out at all. As far as I know this isn't a healthy habit either. Just keep her hands clean and make sure her nails don't scratch her face, as her skin is very delicate. We had to use mittens because our son would constantly scratch his face, which helped prevent him from injuring himself. As for the bed itself, use some soft towels may be. Should help.
 
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Beautiful baby my friend. Congratulations. Once the baby phase is over, cherish the days of their young childhood. It can be so much fun and so rewarding. I envy anyone with young children still in the house. Best of luck on your parenthood journey!
 
hsoulz said:
It’s only been one month since our daughter was born. Everything happened so fast — there’s definitely joy and happiness, but the stress is absolutely overwhelming. I’m stressed 24/7 from hearing her cry and fuss non-stop. Some days it feels like this one month has been a whole year already.


I tried buying a pacifier, but she doesn’t like it at all. And when she’s sleeping, the moment I try to lay her down on the bed it’s like the mattress is covered in thorns — she immediately starts squirming, crying, and thrashing. The only way she falls asleep is if I hold her in my arms the whole time.


Please help me… I’m losing my mind

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I don't know what country you are and your financial capacity,
But you will get drain if you remain in that environment for long without breaking

If you work or do some internet biz that requires concentration to achieve results
You will need to give some days to doing business alone while supporting your wife with a maid or any other person at those days

Been in it, and still in it, the baby has to be properly taken care of, but your wife might not understand this as she will need you every minute of the day
 
Firstly Congrats!

First 5-7 months are harder. It gets better week by week, month by month .. There will be better days/nights. Keep in mind that you need time to getting used to be parent, your whole life is changing etc.. So give yourself and your wife time. You'll get used to, but it takes time.

Babies got colic. Not sure what country you're from, but try to get some Gripe Water (we used it.. And don't expect miracles, but I think it helps sometimes).

Try to get white noise baby machine.

Before lay her down on the bed, hold her by the bed not moving and wait 15-20 seconds ..
 
Congratz, welcome to parenthood.

Just make sure you guys get your quite times on your own the first couple of month, you take her a couple of hours and your wife can get out of the house and rest, then she takes her a couple of hours and so on, no need to get tired both of you at the same time and there is no need for two people to handle her at the same time.

Make sure you and your wife gets to sleep good, take the baby out for a walk or something so the other can sleep.

It will be fun and a good learning as it does not come with a 500 pages manual as the washing machine, but really no need either.
 
Congratulations!

My advice is to establish a College Savings Plan as soon as you can. I wish we had know this when our kids were born.
 
Gogol said:
The nights are not going to be same for the first few years but I am sure you will get used to it. :)
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This is really enjoyable years of life.

Congrats man. Enjoy parenthood.
 
hsoulz said:
It’s only been one month since our daughter was born. Everything happened so fast — there’s definitely joy and happiness, but the stress is absolutely overwhelming. I’m stressed 24/7 from hearing her cry and fuss non-stop. Some days it feels like this one month has been a whole year already.


I tried buying a pacifier, but she doesn’t like it at all. And when she’s sleeping, the moment I try to lay her down on the bed it’s like the mattress is covered in thorns — she immediately starts squirming, crying, and thrashing. The only way she falls asleep is if I hold her in my arms the whole time.


Please help me… I’m losing my mind

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Consultation for baby. She is so Cute
 
Congratulations buddy! I'm glad to see people getting married & having kids in an era of AI girlfriends :D

Infants love security of someone holding them. No wonder she doesn't like the bed. She is probably sensitive to your touch and can instantly recognize it when you lift your hands. You should hold her with a soft towel and lay her in bed with that towel. Also, make sure not to move her in bed. Just lay her down and slowly remove your hands.

Parenthood requires the efficiency of snipers, so you should act like a gamer :anyway:
 
The only way she falls asleep is if I hold her in my arms the whole time.
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coz that is how "u" trained her to sleep. U need to train her to sleep on bed. A baby will always prefer warmth of a body but u must not let her sleep when she is in ur hands. Doing this will extra disturb u and her, but in 3 days- she will 100% be trained to sleep on bed/mattress.
 
Congrats bro, I have two kids and its absolutely crazy, especially the first one.
Remember that the first year 1-2 year is super tough and the learning curve is crazy, after that it gets a lot easier.
Especially the first couple of months can be devistating and result in depression etc - both for the mom and dad.
I don't have much advice beside hang in there, it'll be the best decision you've ever made after a while, but the beginning is indeed brutal.
Also remember that all kids are different and 99% of people give shitty advice and have no idea what they're talking about, so learn from your own experience
 
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