I feel that self control is very important. But how do I develop it ?
self hypnosis.
Download a...
- hypnotic spiral gif off google
- a 4 Hz theta waves binaural beats videoclip / mp3 (it really doesn't need to be a clip 'cause you'll only be listening to it) off Youtube
Then let the spiral spin slowly while focusing on its center and while being completely relaxed, put on the Theta waves to run in the background while you focus on the spiral, and at the same time while you're doing all of these stare into the spiral's center while repeating your favorite auto-suggestion formula for whatever you're trying to achieve.
For example, in the case of the self control that you've mentioned, I would formulate something like...
"I am in full control of my life, emotions, thoughts, actions, desires, of my conscious and unconscious forces, my instincts, and of my decisions.
I let my psyche take control only when it knows better to help me achieve my objectives and desires, as long as my objectives and desires do not harm, kill, or negatively impact anyone, ever, for any reason.
I have overcome all weaknesses, all types of cowardice, and all fears, with all of their known and unknown causes and effects. From now on, I am in control of everything, for all time, in every place, situation and occasion in which self control is needed"
Few important notes here...
1) this formula was just an example (albeit a good example of how you should go about this stuff and how I would do it for this specific goal), but you can tailor it to your needs and desires, of course.
2) the formula is to be repeated daily (sometimes multiple times a day if you have the time, or you feel that it's needed) for months, years, or until you feel that your self control is off the charts. At that point you can stop repeating it daily, and only repeat it occasionally (like once a month, or a few times a year, or when you feel like your self control is wearing down, although this should never happen if it got nice and deep into your unconscious mind already)
3) IMO, the formula is best used in first person and present time, without mentioning your name necessarily. But if you feel like you need to mention your own name for better grip you can do so. Just keep it in present time (ie. I am, I do, I succeed, etc...) Or, sometimes - as needed - you can mix past time in the formula too (ie. I already got rid of my problems, I have passed the next exam with flying colors, I have learned to master my emotions, etc...)
You can use present time (preferably), or past time (as needed), but don't use future time as it's unpredictable and - unless you're being very specific - the future can mean anything which, if you don't know what you're doing, your psyche might never solve your problems since you've not told it when exactly in the future to do what exactly, for how long exactly, in which way exactly, and so on...
4) in the beginning, you will struggle maintaining focus on both the spiral, as well as on your formula. If you're not well trained in self-hypnosis your mind will play tricks on you frequently, and the deeper you get into trance the more your thoughts will start wandering and beating around the bush.
It's
paramount that you recognize this danger and bring your conscious attention back to the task at hand while simultaneously acknowledging the thoughts that are popping into your mind and recognizing that they're your own thoughts and that you are in control of them. If they're bad thoughts, invert them or remove them consciously while you're still in trance. Don't let them persist with you while you're in trance because - as soon as you get out of trance - they will start manifesting in real life and you don't want to harm yourself or others! If you do want to use hypnosis to harm yourself or others you need to check yourself with a real psychiatrist...
The theta waves are meant to synchronize your attention to your brain. From what I understood, they're the best frequency for forcing your psyche to do what you tell it to do, so aim for 4-8 Hz binaural beats, but preferably 4-5 Hz (I use 4 Hz for my daily programming).
5) you can repeat these suggestions as often, and for as long as you want each day / week, but in the beginning - and especially if you're not a big believer in hypnosis, or you know that you're not very suggestible (easily impressed in general) - aim for 30-60 minutes each day.
If you're a rookie and / or non-believer in hypnosis, 5-10 minutes into the trance and you might start thinking of all sorts of stuff that's not related to your formula. You can take a break if that's the case and you feel like you really can't focus. It's no point forcing it, you gotta let your psyche get used to the new habit that you're going to form. Just take a deep breath, stretch your arms and legs a little, clear your mind and start again 5 minutes later.
Or, if this won't work and you simply can't concentrate, tell it to yourself (in your own mind, you don't have to whisper or say it out loud) that you'll get back to this later when you're ready and that your mind will know automatically when you're ready. And then - after you've thought this - go about doing your usual stuff (play video games, work out, read, whatever), and soon (based on this quick programming) your brain will find the right place and time for you to perform the hypnosis.
In the beginning, it's possible - like I said - that you'll only be able to maintain your focus for a few minutes because your mind might get flooded with all sorts of unrelated thoughts. That's ok, we're all going through this in the beginning
Just acknowledge those thoughts and - like I said - if they're good thoughts (that don't harm or kill anyone) keep them and nurture them, otherwise - if they're destructive thoughts, change them to positive ones, or completely wipe them out (consciously but while you're still in trance).
If you don't trust / like this advice that I've given, no problem! Find a scientific self-hypnosis course and follow that one, I guarantee you that self-hypnosis works because I've been practicing it on myself for a few years now (sometimes 2-3 hours a day, EACH DAY), and I got rid of a few of my problems, stuff that psychiatrists and other types of doctors said that the only solution for my problems were drugs or vaccines, and which I've refused to take. Of course, I'm not fully healed (probably I'll never be unless science gets really advanced for the common people to completely fix humans from head to toe). But I do feel the effects of self-hypnosis for sure for some of the milder conditions that I am having, so don't dismiss this! You don't need doctors or drugs, you just need to let the best doctor in the Universe (your own psyche) do its thing. It knows your entire being in more details than all of the doctors in the Universe combined, you just have to converse with it quietly and friendly, which is what the trance is for, and which is what the hypnotic spiral, theta waves, and auto-suggestions are for
