i feel like i am not growing
growing how? Or into what?? Life's not meant for people to grow into anything, it's meant to be experienced and enjoyed.
i have a conflicting feeling.
they're pretty common these days, into almost every human being, so get used to them because they're natural until things stabilize
i dont see the point. let's say i accomplished great things. what's the point if i am going to die eventually?
there is no point at all, we all have been systematically and extensively programmed to slave our own lives away to keep a few egotistical psychopaths at the top of the pyramid happy and enjoying their lives to the fullest.
As for death, death is a natural process that can happen back and forth AT WILL in humans. Meaning, you can leave your body completely (die) and then come back to it again (resurrect) whenever you want, for as many times as you want, for whatever reasons you want.
Of course, most of us still can't do this in a safe and controlled manner because we've been programmed for millennia (literally millennia) to give up all of our awesome capabilities (death and resurrection, teleportation, telekinesis, hypnosis and mind control, levitation, decorporalization, etc) and to fear them so that we can perform our slave programs for the benefit of the egotistical psychopaths at the top of this evil scheme, and - since habits and automation are a thing - it got into our habits to fear these things that only free humans can still experience as it's natural for all human beings to do.
The human body is just a highly condensed mass of low frequency energies, therefore it can never die, simply because it never lives. Only the all-powerful, ever present, and never destroyable conscience lives, everything else is just energies in a different state.
Anyway, there's no point in doing anything that you don't want, or don't like. Life's about being completely free and enjoying it to the fullest, regardless of who's saying what. We (the human beings) are supreme beings in the Universe (which might not even exist, but that's a discussion for another day), so we don't have to report to anyone ever for anything that we do, under one crucial and imperative condition: every thought, every action, and every decision that we have, or take should not, under ANY circumstance impede on the rights of every other being - sentient or not - to live their own lives fully and freely. This is the only true and common sense rule that every sentient being (human or not) should abide by IMO. Everything else is irrelevant and shouldn't exist.
it's all going to be destroyed.
not everything is going to be destroyed. Probably only what's not worth keeping in the new era will be destroyed, all of the shackles, sufferings, and bad habits of the horrific past that we've lived in will probably be destroyed, yes. But that's for the better. What's coming next (although, many of us won't live long enough to experience it probably) is what should have been from the beginning. But before we get there we must leave the ugly, traumatizing past behind us, with all of its bad energies. Which is probably what is happening at the moment and what we are all noticing but feel like it's a bad thing. In my opinion it's not all bad, only some of it which - not surprisingly - it seems to be what's keeping the egotistical psychopaths at the top of the pyramid powerful, free and happy, while keeping everyone else shackled and miserable. So, I don't think it's bad that everything gets destroyed. Other (better) things will replace all of this eventually. Maybe not in the coming years, but definitely in the coming decades...
if it was guaranteed that i won't die i would work so hard. i would work 24 7
you WILL die. Everyone dies eventually. So, get used to it!
But no, you don't have to work hard, no matter if you die or not. Working hard is what the megalomaniac evil bastards that rule this world have conditioned us to do so they can be the only ones enjoying total freedom and happy, stress-free lives at the expense of our lives and continuous efforts. To me, this is not a fair system, and whoever has created this abomination, as well as whoever is perpetuating this knowingly and willingly must be held accountable. Not to the extent of the law (the criminals make the laws), but to the extent of the only real and fair law of life: "live however you want, for as long as you want, but without knowingly and willing harming anyone else through your thoughts, actions and decisions while doing so!"
This is the only law that every being (human or not) should be judged by IMO.
only work 24/7
if you want to do so, not because you have to. If you have to work 24/7 (or even work at all) then something's not right and you must find the cause of this and remove it.
because there's none.
at the same time i am pissed that i am not growing.
you don't have to grow into anything. You're just meant to enjoy life without bothering anyone else with your enjoyment, actions, thoughts, etc... basically everything that I already explained. Just do what you like, for as long as like, without feeling obligated to explain yourself to anyone for whatever reason. There is no God, nothing and no one else has any rights over any of us, we are (supposed to be) free, completely sovereign, autonomous beings capable of everything, at all times.
how do i balance these feelings?
learn, live, adapt!
i just want to be happy and live with no regrets.
Happiness is still an utopia on this planet and in this age that we're living. No one can be fully happy all the time as there are a lot of systems and evil conditioning in our psyche that we still need to get rid of, and until we remove all of this evil within ourselves (which might never happen to be honest) we can never be totally happy in this life. That's what I think...
But we can achieve temporary and frequent moments of happiness now and then as we detach ourselves from the psychic and invisible shackles that keep us bound to the various systems that have been imposed on us, so work towards finding and removing those shackles and happiness will eventually come... in small, but frequent outbursts...
EDIT: probably off-topic for those who can't see it yet, but I will end this with a great quote from Nikola Tesla: "if you want to understand the secrets of the Universe you must think in terms of frequency, energy and vibrations".
Meaning, everything AND everyone that's ever existed, or ever will exist, regardless of how it appears or is (material or immaterial) is - at its core - energy of a certain frequency and vibration
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